xoxsarahxox

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skept

Simple get over it.

If you cannot legally drink or go out with him to night spots (ie: clubs etc) then this relationship is inevitably gonna end in disaster. Now not to say that you cannot have quite a few good dates without going to clubs / pubs etc - but when he feels the need to goto these places he'll be all alone without you there.

Its up to you - your friend if she was really a friend she would support you - however if you break up with him then you might judge her in a different manner and this friendship may break up. So the situation is quite simple - do you risk a friendship for a remote chance of love?

Mule_Hammer

Friends dating siblings of friends is always a little messy. Talk to your friend about it seriously, see what she says. Keep in mind, if you are an attractive girl, the guy probably likes the attention. He keeps asserting that your younger age is a problem, so he probably isn't interested, but I'm sure he still enjoys the flirting... who wouldn't?

3nigm4tic

and



adds up to



Because since you've already had the *official* discussion, any further attempt will esssentially be him just messing around with you with no hope of an actual relationship, even though you might still be holding out said hope, which'll just get you further in the emotional hole and make you feel depressed, best strategy is to pretty much move on as much as possible unless he decides differently AND you want to go back and revisit that possibility at that point.

Note him deciding differently is NOT making out with you for a night one night, that's pretty much what you want to avoid with him right now.

xoxsarahxox

touche.. thanks for the help, I forgot to mention.. and this might add to the mess, this older guys brother, whom I friends with ( luke, the original friend in the scenerio ) and I used to not date.. but "see each other" and I think he is a little jealus.. AHH this is crap, being 17 sucks

Mule_Hammer

You've made a thread asking "why oh why do I make out with this cute guy when I'm drunk?" and then said you don't want to sleep with him.

You make this thread asking what you should do with this attractive older guy who flirts with you even though he's said you're too young to date.

Now you mention that the younger brother is a little jealous, for no apparent reason.

I'm sorry, but you're starting to sound like an attention whore. I could be wrong, but it just seems like you really enjoy finding and escalating drama in your life, not that doing so would be abnormal for a good-looking 17 year old girl.

fastw23s

Well, being any age can sukk.

But wanting to be older than you are is wasteful of your youth.

You'll be 40 soon enuf.

Date boys your own age and take time to grow-up.

zeppy

I was thinking that too, actually.

3nigm4tic

No no no boys, she's a 17 year old female who has boys around her a lot. Not an attention whore, she's a girl and she's naturally confused about things. Us boys are more straightforward (yay think with your penis!)

have a little respect.
What I think she needs to realize is that neither of these things is really a *problem*. A lot of the same stuff happens to a lot of people (especially the girlz, with their more emotional nature, perhaps some of you dont have a lot of experience dealing with the opposite sex), she just happened to post here about it.

xoxsarahxox

thank you for that 3nigm4tic... I wouldnt exactly call my self an attention whore, my name isnt Britney Spears ( lame, I know ) any way.. thanks for all the posts, some good advice

bonezx

Sarah: the old guy in the forum thinks he can feel you cryin out

Mule Hammer is COMPLETELY right. It might help to review substance abuse issues cause lots of the posts involve alcohol and going at it with guys your not in a relationship with. Then to post it in multiple layers seems to suggest that you might get affirmation from the attention the posts generate.
Be confident in who you are and slow down and enjoy the smells of youth!

Chameleon Grrl

i'm just curious...what about the societal pressure that makes young girls like our friend here feel they HAVE to be attention whores and sex objects because that's all they're good for? ever read Maxim or Cosmo? they don't exactly spend a lot of time exploring ways of furthering your emotional or intellectual connections with people, it's all about sex. so here's a girl who finds herself the object of sexual attention of someone not really appropriate and she feels conflicted about that. i'm not surprised even a little. sarah, i don't know anything about you but if you haven't ever tried this, tell the boys to back off for awhile and go figure out who you are as a whole person independant of anyone else's opinion of you.

3nigm4tic

@bonezx: From the information we know from two posts, it would be difficult to say that there is a substance abuse problem, per se. Specifically, the fact that she isn't posting saying she *regrets* what she does or that she is *upset* by it (plus we don't know how often she drinks, etc.) and that she is more *confused* simply suggests teenage angst.

@Chameleon: If you're looking at society in general, you can't say that society ONLY pressures girls in that respect. As it happens, there are more steps that females can take to achieve a certain look and thus females generate more literature, but male body image is still extremely heavily pushed in today's culture, and people spend a hell of a lot less time spending males to get in touch with emtions than they do females, who in my experience and general knowledge have a much easier time having deep connections/emotional thoughts without a magazine titled "Relationships Monthly". I would think it would be fair to say that because emotional psychology is so much more intrinsic to a person that there doesnt NEED to be (or even SHOULDNT be) a lot of publications pressing for a certain emotional standpoint.

Chameleon Grrl

male body image is pushed heavily, but it is not nearly as tied into men's sense of self-worth the way female body image is constructed. thus, men have more "flexibility" both in "acceptability" of their bodies and how they are perceived as valuable human beings. an ugly but powerful man is much more valuable (according to society) than an ugly but powerful woman. and, ever consider that the reason females have an easier time having deeper connections and emotional relationships is precisely BECAUSE our society doesn't allow men to get in touch with their emotions? yes folks, patriarchy is bad for men too. men aren't supposed to be emotional creatures, they're only supposed to be macho powerhouses. finally, i never said there should be publications promoting certain emotional standpoints, but the lack of their existance combined with the existance of an overabundance of publications on how to look/feel/smell/taste sexy and perform (both in bed and the real world) as sexually desirable proves that for women in particular, sexual desirablility (and little else) equals value.