Chameleon Grrl

good for you for coming here then, and good for you for realizing that what cosmo says is not always the right thing. it's a very good lesson for a teen girl to learn, and i hope you apply it to other similar messages you get from the media.

layne

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Threads:

I say keep bugging him to have sex, of it doesnt work, in a couple of years the gap wont matter anymore then u can be with him then

xoxsarahxox

Im not bugging him to have sex, I dont think once I ever mentioned the notion of sex or anythihg sexual for that matter, but thanks anyway. In a few years im sure I will have matrured and realized that this is all some teenage crush...

3nigm4tic

first off /ignore layne
moron, neg rep to you



No argument to this. (Not agreeing with the morality of the argument, but just, *yes you're right in saying that*)



Precisely my point, saying that there are weaknesses with both genders, and because the push for "beauty" among females is a much more obvious (physical...) trait than one's emotional well-being, that stereotype gets criticized and given attention much more often than the "male as emotional brick-wall" stereotype.



I didn't say you did, I was bringing up my own point (and then paranthetically addressing it) in my argument, basically saying that the woman's emotional side simply is not addressed because there aren't a lot of effective ways to do so.

On the note of "sexual desirability (and little else) equals value" I would again disagree despite the weight of publications on the subject. Specifically Gender Neutral Publications such as economic, scientific, and political magazines simultaneously address both gender's concerns (well, addressing both sides with increasing regularity in recent years, admittedly, professional society is still male-dominated in many ways). Just because there isn't a "woman's economist" doesn't mean that powerful (and sometimes ugly ) women are in those fields.

@Sarah Haha if that's the case I'm glad you posted here. On that note, I just had a discussion with a girl about this earlier today... Doing what Cosmo and other fashion magazines suggests is not necessarily bad. What me and her discussed is basically that for both genders there's no reason NOT to "look your best" as societally dictated, and as it happens there are more choices/steps for females (as I pointed out earlier in the thread) than males. That said, don't sacrifice intellectualism simply because you know how to dress and wear good makeup.

I wear popular clothing brands and look pretty stylish most of the time, but my clothing brand doesn't determine my thought process. That's the real danger of pop culture

oh by the way... your thread has been officially hijacked in to a discussion of gender differences. :happycow:

xoxsarahxox

Yes I had noticed the shift in topic but I think its great, I got alot of great info so thanks to every one!

Mule_Hammer

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this thread rocks /pw

bonezx

Sarah I respect that you are doing what everyone else is doing at your age but I must explain the reason for the substance statement. First doing what the masses are doing is never always right. Second your original thread speaks of only messing around with this guy when the two of you are at parties and under the influence. Also it sounded like it doesn't happen when you are not. The fact that you drink etc for it to happen and you ask questions about messing around with him in this post suggests that the substance has become part of the get together cycle. This actually does count as abuse.

The abuse side does NOT speak of quantity, type or frequency of your substance but that it has become tied to these other events and becomes necessary for them to happen. The problem only tends to escalate over time so us humble seniors are giving you a free glimpse of OUR hard earned experience.

I hope you can critically use this info for what it is worth as I'm not your parent relative or neighbour but just someone who can recognise an old pattern

xoxsarahxox

thanks bonezx.. really. I actually ( warning dr.phil moment coming up ) have looked at everything and have put things into perspective..

3nigm4tic

:ughwerd: to that. This is exactly my take on abuse as well. It is not the imbibing of alcohol or the partying or anything that's a problem, nor should it be construed as such. It is the inability to CONTROL oneself at these events (whether actions or quantity/frequency of consumption) that is the problem.



The initial reason for disagreeing with your take on the situation was that I was giving her somewhat the benefit of the doubt, ie. that in addition to the "problem" threads that she had normal relations as well. We only have two examples of her life to go on, which doesn't make a pattern, but of course only she knows the whole pattern, so you or I could be correct in our speculations

Anyways.... from my own *growing up experience* (all two years I have on you, although a year of college does wonders for experience)



However. Because I used to be all kinds of "anti-conformist", I feel obligated to say the following

Doing what the masses are doing is NOT ALWAYS THE WRONG THING, either. The crucial step in maturity (or at least when I feel I got a lot more mature) was to realize that just because person A does or does not do something should have little bearing on what you do, or what you DONT do. I can look a lot better wearing the clothes the **Conformists** (whatever that means) wear, so why shouldn't I? It doesn't change what I *think*. "fitting in" is something that you do with a group of friends that you ALREADY get along with, not something you do IN ORDER to get along with people.

damn I rambled on...
Anybody up for renaming this thread "The meaning of life (and/or adolescence)"? :happycow:

xoxsarahxox

Lets say hypathetically, you can laugh at my spelling all you want, that if by chance this little crush turns into a physical but not emotional relationship, if the original friend ( whoms brother this is ) finds out or speculates that something is going on, do I deny deny deny or fess up and deal. I note that this wont happen because there is a 6 year age diff, but if this was the case...

3nigm4tic

"hypothetically", you were pretty close.

Unless you were supposed to have been involved with the original friend in some capacity, or the original guy was trying to get with you, he should have no say in who you choose to hook up with. Really, he should go to the guy you did hook up with and take credit for an assist in introducing the two of you. So if he's upset the only thing you can say is "sorry it didn't work out that way".

throatyogurt

It seems your name is Sarah. I'll call you Sarah. Sarah, you are 17 - I'd expect a ban quite soon. You are supposed to be 18 to post here.

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xoxsarahxox

some one clearly is unable to do math.. i turn 18 this year, next month so deal

kulotsalot

Which means you are not 18 YET. Stay out of the Adult section or risk being banned.