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Old 09-18-2005, 02:28 PM   #1
VIVIX
Dirty Copper
 
 
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Woman wants to be controlled, need help

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Alright, I think everyone might like this and hopefully can help me out. But as I like to explain the situation, I'm going to do that first.

Me and my girlfriend have been going out for about three weeks now. I've known her for a couple of months but didn't realize she was a nympho (to put it lightly) So we've been having sex for about a week and some days, literally, every time I see her, she's ready. Don't get me wrong I'm loving the relationship, I like her beyond belief and she almost said that she loves me. To get to the point, last night she told me that she likes to be controlled while having sex. I think it's unbelievably kinky and am all for it, but I do have a problem.

Problem: I have no idea on how to be controlling in bed, I've always just let things take their stride. I've never done anything like this and am not even sure where to start. I'm very nice to her, and she wants me to continue to be nice to her when not having sex, but she wants me to stop being nice to her when we're having sex.

I guess the main this is that we have to talk about this a little bit more to get a grasp on what she exactly wants. I don't think she's talking about dom/sub stuff, but I do know she does want to give up control to me to let me do whatever I please. I guess I've never really thought about all the things I can possibly do to her. This may be my biggest relationship issue I've ever had

Anyone have any tips or things that would help me out here? Any comments suggestions, referrals would be splendidly welcome.
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Old 09-18-2005, 02:43 PM   #2
umpire00
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Re: Woman wants to be controlled, need help

My exgirldriend was like that. She really like it when I would tease her like crazy, and when she tried to stop me from teasing her, I would just over-power her and continue with what I was doing. She also liked it when I would pull on her hair a little and when I would change from position to position whenever I felt like it. You could also try to tie her down and blindfold her so that she really has no control over what is going to happen next. Just some thoughts...
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Old 09-18-2005, 03:29 PM   #3
3nigm4tic
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Re: Woman wants to be controlled, need help

depends on eactly HOW controlled she wants to be

on one level, you can just tackle her on to the bed and *seem* dominating by holding her down and more or less saying that ur controlling her (rough sex), like umpire said if she tries to do something stop her from doing it, it'll probably turn her on more

on another level you're gonna be taking a trip to the sex shop and buying some handcuffs and rope (or maybe the hardware store, whatever :eek3 and I dont have a lot of experience in that direction...
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Old 09-18-2005, 03:59 PM   #4
skycatcher
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Re: Woman wants to be controlled, need help

My ex was 100% submissive I found out after a while. She loved it when I literally teased her and played with her. i.e. holding her down so she can't move, choking her for a few seconds and then letting go, tieing her down, blindfolding, etc. I was never into talking dirty to her but maybe your chick is into that.

The best thing to do is experiment. If you mess up she'll let you know but you just make a note of it
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Old 09-19-2005, 01:47 PM   #5
c_lyn
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Re: Woman wants to be controlled, need help

Similar to your girlfriend, I love to be controlled in bed. At first, my boyfriend had a hard time just taking control. We did it in steps. First, I'd tell him to tell me exactly what he wants me to do (first telling, then ordering...). Then we added him holding me down, pulling my hair, cuffing me, etc. If you start slowly and add on a little at a time, it will be a lot easier. I'm convinced that you'll LOVE it once you get going.

Good luck!!
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Old 09-19-2005, 05:28 PM   #6
Lucky13
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Re: Woman wants to be controlled, need help

A good, easy (and most importantly safe) start would just be to try pinning her arms down when you do it in the missionary position. She won't be able to move, she'll get some of the control, and if she doesn't like it she won't be too uncomfortable and there's no danger if you screw up. I don't have experience in the control thing, but it sounds like something you want to work your way up to, not just show up one day with a leather facemask and some chains.
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Old 09-19-2005, 06:37 PM   #7
VIVIX
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Re: Woman wants to be controlled, need help

Thanks for the tips, I'm definetely going to have to experiment with this stuff a little.

Thanks again.
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Old 09-20-2005, 01:52 AM   #8
skycatcher
I make rainbows cry!
 
 
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Re: Woman wants to be controlled, need help

Quote:
Originally Posted by nflcclucky13
not just show up one day with a leather facemask and some chains.


I can't resist

I sure hope most people avoid showing up like this on a first date
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Old 09-20-2005, 08:27 PM   #9
achristos
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Re: Woman wants to be controlled, need help

Have fun and push her til she says "uncle." She looking for a man's man. Its an interesting life once you're into it. Wait til you have a stable of them. Its a wild ride.
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