black91gs

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I am so FUCKING pissed right FUCKING now!!!

So my girlfriend of 4months is Australian and been at home visiting for the past two weeks. Family friends and her ex-boyfriend!!! So fucking glad that she has been partying with her friends and EX-BOYFRIEND droping extacy and getting drunk. And staying over at the friends house including the ex-boyfriend. When the ex doesnt even know about me. EVEN THOUGH SHE REASURRES ME ITS DIFFERENT between her ex and all. I dont fucking care its FUCKING INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR!!!!

GODDAMMIT IM SO FUCKING PISSED IM SHAKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I dont understand does she think that it is appropriate or that im not going to entertain thoughts of her cheating on me.


WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK......F...U...C...K!!!!!!

Im picking her up at the airport tommarrow in LA and drive back to SD thats going to be a fun 2 hour drive!!!!!!!

I dont know anymore im so confused and hurt I just dont know what to do. Sometimes the relationships we embark on in life whether platonic or intimate can have such a strain on ones selfworth. Maybe im just over reacting. what do the rest of you think, cause clearly my outlook is diluted by fury, confusion and mostly overrun by hurt.

popopopo

I had a friend recently who was hurt like this...the girl wanted both guys so wouldn't commit and ended up cheating on him. This is more or less related. But what you have are 2 people who were together in the past and feelings could come back...especially on drugs.

You need to first of all, make sure nothing happened. Second, I don't care what your into, exctacy is a bad drug...it can really kill people...its up there with crystal meth. Get her off of that shit.

Tomorrow, just make sure nothing happened between them...and then let her know clearly, "this is not going to be happening again...I don't care how it is between u guys but you need to not be sleeping with or near other guys when you have a boyfriend...or we're done."

Thats the best advice I can offer...hope it helps...

Calm down...its going to be okay. And remember, its your way...or the long walk to San Diego.

kulotsalot

1. You guys should've talked about the possibility of seeing her ex when she visits, and come to a mutually agreeable "action plan" about what to do when that happens, if it should happen, what to say, how to act, whether to tell you or not, etc.

2. Ex-boyfriend + extacy + getting drunk = trouble. There is a reason why they both hooked up in the first place, and with the lines getting all blurry because of the drugs and alcohol, it's easy to slip up and blame it on something. A committed person will inform the ex of the new bf, minimize contact, and refrain from the alcohol and drug combo (or at least minimize use?)

3. Factor in a little cultural difference. Maybe Aussies are more touchy-feely, buddy-buddy sort of people. Fine. Maybe they really sleep over at friends' houses and everyone is ok with it. Fine. Were they in the same room? In the same bed? Touching? Was there any other option, like was there another friend she could've stayed with? Is she just trying to explain away behaviour that upsets you?

Bottom line: Rules should be made to fit both of you. Behaviour that offends one of you is not OK. If she values you as a bf then she will take your feelings into consideration and act appropriately, whatever "appropriate" behaviour for the two of you means.

PirateOZanzabar

ok first off. calm down, don't blow up at her when you see her. tho i think you have already picked her up by now, so i hope you didn't blow up at her, that would just cause her to blow up as well, and it will just excelate.

another point. just because she is hanging out with her ex doesn't mean jack shit. one of my best friends is my ex gf. we actually dated twice. we still hang out a lot and her bf doesn't give a shit.

but just talk to her about it. thats about as much as you can do right now. but if it happens again, just let her know how you feel about it and all that.

forgot to add that you should deff get her off E. thats some very bad shit right there.

Bill Clinton

Use the ole 'play it cool' rountine. Don't call her - let her do whatever she wants. She needs some space and if you push it - she may dump you. When comes back - still act cool - then try anal intercourse.

skycatcher

I smell warning #2

throatyogurt

You need to jump on her ass and tell you what you are and aren't gonna stand for. If you are as upset as you think you are, tell her you need some time after you dump her off at her place. Tell her you need some time for yourself. IF she gets really upset and acts worried, then maybe you should give her a chance if she says nothing happened. Make sure she isn't lying to you though. Don't let her walk on you. You feel wronged for a reason, GO WITH YOU GUT. I experienced stuff like this before, trust yourself.

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Juan.©amaney

What were you doing with your time away from her? If I were you, I'd be doing the same thing. You only live once. To tell you the truth, if I were going to Australia, I'd be all about the partying myself. The ex thing...its really up to you whether or not you trust her and whether or not she is the type of girl that cheats.

You all need to talk...I wouldn't pick her up from the airport if I was that pissed. Send someone else.

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johnnyrunner

I've been on both sides of this.
When I was in your position I played it cool and asked her how things went, then I blew up and didn't trust her. I was right not to trust her.

When I was in her position I didn't want to commit but I was scared of being alone, so I played some women.

Regardless of what happened, she didn't respect your feelings, you need to tell her that this isn't happening again. She will either respect your feelings or she can find a new guy to date.

She's not going to respect you if you don't respect yourself.

3nigm4tic

/thread

this situation has almost certainly been resolved. Since he was picking her up "tomorrow" on the 17th... so yeah, end of discussion, unless he wants to tell us how everything was resolved.

Travis

Move on DUDE she is a waste of your time, she is obviously still thinking of this fucking prick and he doesnt care about what is really going on in her life, all he wants is a free fuck, and let you deal with the problems later, I mean really what are you going to do to him??? And really what are you going to do to her, Teach her a fucking lesson of life and turn our back on the girl and leave, there ARE other women out there that will show you the respect that you deserve, at least I hope that there are women out there that still belive in showing respect and love, WALK AWAY FROM THE CHICK.

Lazer

Hmm tough situation.
But you need to follow YOUR instinct. Your gut is usually right.
You know what you feel. There are allways other women. A woman will usually deny cheating till near death. And if you pressure her, She will leave. Play it cool. Time reveals everything.