Fyouckwhyohu

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Last December(2004) I think I fell victim to the "Winter Blues," but my response to it was one of the worst. I was living with my grandmother at the time, by my own choice and an agreement with my mom so that I could finish school at the same place. In a nutshell, stress from school made and other stress caused a chain reaction of overall stress and I wasn't dealing with it.

I almost ended my life and was in the hospital for a month. Eight months later I'm doing much much better and have some knowledge on how to deal with stuff and analyzing problems. I now live with my mom, but lately this summer I've been visiting my grandmother frequently, and everytime I do I feel very uncomfortable for a moment at random times. It's like the familiar setting is triggering controlled flashbacks, where I remember how I was feeling at the time of my depression.

Afterward, I feel very awkward and almost scared, like the house is one huge reminder. I just want to feel comfortable in my second home again, my grandmother's house.

Greenfire

You did something very tramatic in that house. It's only been 8 months, so I'm guessing that what you are feeling is tied to that event. Best suggestion, give it time, and start making happy memeories there.

Lucky Bob

Honestly... I think Greenfire hit it right on the nose.

The only thing I'd change is to not go actively pursuing happy memories at your grandma's, because then if you fail to do so (which is made more likely by these flashbacks), you'll get depressed NOW.

Hope what advice we're able to give is useful.

OrdinaryGirl

Try to create new, happier memories when you are there that will push the old ones to the side. Do you have a favourite hobby you can do there? Or bring over one of your favourite friends and have a good time. Listen to music you really like. You can't change what happened, but you want to enjoy the house again, so you need to use the present to create a new, better feeling about it.

Good luck.

Fyouckwhyohu

Subconsciously I have been making good memories here and this past week here I brought my dog (1 year old) and she keeps me good company. Also, knowing that there are far more good memories here that outweigh that one bad one. The quick flashbacks haven't been coming like they were, hardly at all in fact. But I'll continue to follow the advice you guys have given me.

Thanks for the help,

Chris