black91gs

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so yeah if u remeber my last post about this girl or not whateva. but yeah so yesterday morning i was at work falling asleep in the office 'cause i slept over at her house did'nt get to sleep till late and woke-up very early. in our morning conversation i told her that i was dead and prolly gonna sleep at home to get rest. she agreed.
about 5mins later i realised that it was not that big of a deal to sacrifice a couple hours of sleep to see her and touch her baby soft skin infact to be able to hold her and assure her that all is well with the world would in itself be worth more than a lifetime of no sleep.
she said that i dont need to feel like i need to come over.( I just dont think she thinks I am genuine in my words or actions for that matter) i said i dont feel like that, i do actually want to come over.so we agree i will come over later in the night, i said that we can watch a movie. so i am still hanging with my friend and she calls around 9:30 telling me that its getting late and i dont need to come over.I say with hesitance um ok. and once again she reiterates that im only wanting to come over because of my apparent feelings of guilt for not hanging out with her. i say thats not true but for her to call me the next day to say hi.
at 10:06 i recieve this text from her saying:

its totally fine that u dont want 2 come over i just wish that u didnt say u were going 2 just cos u felt guilty.if ud wanted 2 cum u would hav anyway.im bothered by the fact that now i feel like u cum not cos u want 2 but cos u feel like u should.cos wen i say u dont hav 2 cum u say ok straightaway.im not trying 2 start anythin so dont call. i just feel a bit dumb cos maybe uve only ever cum ova 2 avoid upsetting me wen u neva realy want 2come. goodnight.
i was shocked at this message not understanding, so i dont call i just respond with:
call me when u want 2 talk and not assume.
i havent heard from her yet, granted it is only 8:41 in the morning i sent it at 10:30 last night. but i need to talk to her and i guess break it down to her how i feel, which is i really like her. 'cause i feel that she thinks i dont have that great of feelings for her.
what are your thoughts on how i should explain my feelings to her and abolish her insecurities of this relationship. it is just the beggining of it so these feelings are valid but i dont want it to end because she thinks i dont like her as much as she likes me.

Juan.©amaney

IMHO, I wouldn't deal with an over dramatic woman like that....but hey, if you think it worth it, there is no easier and better way than to just say what's on your mind and be absolutely blunt. If she has trust issues and wants to keep assuming things...that's her beef, not yours.

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bohica mike

Dude, no man should have to put up with a woman's emotional, lack of self respect BULLSHIT...period. No woman is worth that. Tell her straight up how you feel, and tell her that if she wants to play games, she needs to go teach kindergarten. Grow some fawkin' gonads and tell her if she doubts your true feelings, then it's best if she justs moves along.

Maelindar

There are lots of women who can be more emotional at certain times than at others, and it is possible that there is a completely unrelated reason she was a bit touchy that night. On the other hand, if I read it right, your first message a few days ago was basically one where you were asking us for advice on where things should go with your relationship because you were confused by some of her reactions.

It seems like you are both still unsure of each other, and she just came straight to you with the question instead of asking her friends about it. To be really honest, the nessage sounds like she was really feeling more guilty than anything else thinking that she had been pressuring you. Talk to her and tell her what you eally think. You both seem to like each other quite a bit, so just keep working on the communication thing.

Note that this is a perfect case where over-communicating can make things a bit sticky, but you should be able to work through it. I would try not to make a big deal of it, just talk it though.

black91gs

Maelindar:"Note that this is a perfect case where over-communicating can make things a bit sticky, but you should be able to work through it. I would try not to make a big deal of it, just talk it though"

I do appreciate your response as well as the others as most of the time my thoughts are mis-guided and seeking the opinion of others, the third person view is quite monumental when emotions clutter the thought process.
but i dont see what you mean by over-communicating. in this instance it seems there is a lack of comm. now i could see that over talking the situation(over analyzing)would be detremental to the cause. because there would only be dwelling and no progression, is this what you mean. please clarify.once again thank you!

salamander

Talk to her....not on the phone, not with text messages, but face-to-face. Be straight with her and ask her to do the same.

black91gs

update: so yesterday i decide after talking to a friend that i will call her to see if she is ready to talk. when i call there is no answer. I think to myself "great now she is ignoring me". so i leave her a text saying " i hope that u r busy and not just ignoring me.call me." within 5mins. she calls says that she was in the bathroom.ok cool.
so ask her how her day was so on and so forth she went shopping w/her mom(visiting from Australia) she says she got something for me. and at that moment I felt better(not for materialistic reasons) because would she have done that if she was mad at me. no. i ask if she would like to talk she agrees. but says she is going to dinner w/her parents and invites me.ok cool. i figure i can be there in 45mins and we can talk before hand. i am on my way and stop off at kragen to pick up something she calls says that reservations are at 7:30 and she needs to hook-up first(she is a stoner,im not what are the odds)ok cool. i get there and immediatly we have to go to the resturant. stop to get gas and she proceeds to throw out trash in my car.ok really freggin cool. so we eat a beautiful steak dinner w/her folks. and things seem all good. so i think i'll just forget about the whole thing for now.
we start to watch a movie fall asleep.at 4:15 im awaken by a thunder storm as is she. we embrace eachother, kiss and have sex it was great.then pillow talk insues and i bring up the texts and how i feel about her and she tells me that she can never figure out if i really want to hang out, like im doing it as charity or something. I assure her that i like her very much and am not hanging aound against my own will. she tells me her feelings are alittle more complicated and i say its yes or no do you have feelings for me....................then it happens she crops the "L" bomb on my.ok cool. but i dont say anything back 'cause im not ready for that.but otherwise needless to say i am happy.

kulotsalot

If you didn't say it back she'll make a note of it and she will constantly be wondering why.

ff7799

Wow heres what you do, Text her back saying that this relationship simple isn't working out and that you would like to be friends in the future however you think right now you could use some time apart. Also tell her that if she really cares about you then she won't call, or text you. Now your free of the overmelodramatic chick.

phatbusa

Dude! We can all say whatever but only you know for sure if she's worth it!!!!!!

Keep it real and if it works out that's how it shoulda been, and if it doesn't work out you learned a lesson!!

Just my 2 cents