phatbusa

I think the reason it kinda bugs me a bit is cuz it used to be like 12 times a week. That's the girl I married, and then it slowed down. ( I thought that was just an old wives tail ) I've gotten to the point where I'm soooooo frustrated I just say (to myself) next time she does want it I'll tell her no and see how she likes it. I know that's spiteful and wrong, but when the time comes I can't say no anyways.

I think that's a guy thing LOL

Salamander! R U in a steady relationship (and still would be all for 12 times a week)

kulotsalot

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TheMooninites

Thanks for elaborating more on your situation.

When you said young couple I thought you meant you been married a year or less.

Its really good your about quality but you have three kids and with all the work your women has to do in the day and what not would make her tired and obviously not up for a lil hanky panky as much as before.

Plus having kids in itself I have heard to lessen a women's sex drive for varying reasons.

What I suggest is on a day when you are off get a babysitter to take care of the kids and take her out to dinner and maybe even go to a hotel unless of course your kids are at the babysitters place rather than at home as some people do it that way.

If your kids aren't at home then after the nice dinner take her home and then maybe give her a nice massage to get her feeling good and then you two should make love.

You could make it sensual by maybe having a bath together that is if you have a Jacuzzi tub or something, or one big enough for both you.

She should like this as all she has to do is be there, she don't have to do one thing but take what you give.

If you wanna take it a step further get the babysitter to take care of your kids the whole day so that you two can also go out during the day enjoying alone time with each other and having fun like you did before your kids.

You could go even further with getting her to a spa and having the works done on her in the day then do dinner and so on.

This will all make her feel really good and that you appreciate her and all that.
And of course you two after all that will make lots of love.

Now you can take this even further by doing this for a few days in a row but you may not be able to do that.

phatbusa

Thanx moonities!!

Makes sense!!!

I wish I could organize more time together, I'm starting to think that might be the issue. I'm curious though why doesn't it effect us guys the same way?

I can be soooooooooooo tired I can barely move but I'd still have enough NRG for a half hour love session.

kulotsalot

You can't have eleventybillion different things on your priority list and wonder why sex is practically non-existent. You have 3 little kids, very time-consuming to raise them and I imagine you to be the type of people who are always on-the-go, attending functions and volunteering and driving kids to after-school activities, etc. What I mean to say is, you're very busy, how can you expect sex to "just happen" when you've got so many other things going on? You need to consciously put sex on your list, and it has to be at the same priority level as it is on your wife's list, as Greenfire said. If it means you'll have to reschedule some appointments, miss some classes, resign from a volunteer post or hiring a babysitter, so be it. You just have to figure out how much more important sex is compared to these other things that occupy your time.

Also, it's probably not because she's too tired (physically) to have sex. She could be mentally exhausted, trying to keep the house clean and the kids taken care of, etc. Most women need to be mentally engaged to want to have sex, otherwise it's just not happening.

Juan.©amaney

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3 kids...sounds like you've had plenty sex already.

1. You don't get married to have sex, you get married for tax breaks....and that whole professing love in front of God and other people etc.
2. 3 kids...assuming she takes care of most of the parenting, as most women do....DRAINS a woman.
3. See rule #1

If you were having sex before you got married (obviously cuz of the kids) and got married so you can increase the frequency...you did it for the wrong reasons.

___________________________________________

Greenfire

I know for both me and my wife the times we get most frustrated and start to feel unconnected is when we have too much going on in our lives, and don't have time to get any sex in at all. We both still want sex, but just can't make the time. There have been a few times when we have just had to say, "How important is doing this task/chore/whatever today, and can it wait for tomorrow?"

It also gets hard with us having 4 kids, since they always want to see mommy or daddy. If you happen to find you can't make the time because of they kids wanting things, get a video they will all watch for about 30 minutes get something to drink for all fo them and pop some popcorn, and then sneak off to the bedroom(I know not a lot of time, but some is better then none).

And like Kulotsalot mentioned, she may just be mentally exhausted, and, this might surprise a few people, helping with the housework can be sexier to your wife then a box of chocolate and a dozen roses (I found this out by accident, and was pleasently surprised).

phatbusa

thanx for all the input guys and gals

phatbusa

keep it coming

salamander

No, I'm not phatbusa. I've never been in a long-term relationship either, that's why I can't really be of any help to you. I've often wondered how my sex drive would be affected if I were, or if I had kids. The drive is high and I hope it will stay that way when I am in a relationship.

I think it's very important for a couple to stay connected for the kids as much as anything else, so I would try to keep sex as a priority. Being into it mentally is so important, but even when my mind isn't there my body still still reacts and craves attention.

I'm not so foolish as to say my desire for sex couldn't decrease markedly, but with my attitude and libido I find it hard to imagine that I'd lose it to a remotely similar degree.

Keeping date nights as part of your schedule is very important. You need to have time away from the kids to focus on your relationship and each other. I do believe that many mundane tasks are given too much priority. As a couple, you need to decide what is really important.

sam3722

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"Women are psychic. They know whether or not you're gonna get laid. Guys have NO idea."--Paul Rodriguez

Tasha

I don't know what "The Norm" is because when I talk to my friends they seem to be having sex only once or twice a month.
My husband and I have 6 children. I am 26 and he is 36. We both work from home which means we are with each other nearly all of the time. I dont know if this is an advantage or a disadvantage when it comes to sex. I would say on average we have sex about 4 times a week and maybe surprisingly to you, it is me that would like it 2 or 3 times a day! Tasha.

ff7799

Dude why are you asking the impossible of him. What this guy needs to do is go get himself a mistress.

kulotsalot

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