Big Rob

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in love

sometimes i wonder what love is
i think about it in the back of my mind
as i profess it
and live it
or so i think...
i say the words - wanting to mean them
beleiving that they are true
deceiving myself but
living
day to day
with plastic emotions and dilusions of contentment
untill something...
(someone)
comes along and wakes me up
leaves me breathless and disoriented
standing in the middle of my pseudo existence
looking around at cardboard facades
and painted on smiles
saying to myself..
why...
how could i lead myself into this dark alley
down this dead end road
and not see what i was doing?

and i know the answer to that question.
and in a wave of sudden understanding
i realize that i allways did
i know that i walked this path with blinders on
so that i cuold fool myself into beleiving that
these trivial distractions really mattered
that this dead end road went where i wanted it to
because in the end - i didnt want it to go anywhere
or at least no where fast...
becaue i looked down the path that i should have taken
and the road was strewn with broken promises and shattered dreams
fragments of truth and tattered remains of forgotten lies
that road was paved with heartache and struggle
and had no end in sight
and this way
this road to no where
this path to numb futility
was easy.
the only struggle involved was the struggle with the voice in my head
that knew the truth
and tried to whisper it into my ear
while i was sleeping
in that delicate moment before waking
before you remember to fool yourself
when the mind is completely clear
but still i refused to listen
this road to nowhere
this path to numb futility
was easy.
too easy to abandon now
now that i had convinced myself
that i was happy
and content
behind my painted on smile
and my plastic emotions
i refused..
and so..
sometimes...
i wonder what love is

___________________________________________
open minds are like sand dollars - they do exist but finding one in tact is never easy. water erodes them, nature breaks them, and every time i get a chance, I SMASH THE HELL OUT OF THEM WITH MY FOOT!!!

i have come to the groggy realization that my entire life is lived in the effort to avoid boredom...

ratt_finkel

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i like....

BooBookittyFuck

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me too, you're a good writer, Big Rob.. maybe I'll post some of my poetry on here someday...

peptofunk

wheres the punchline?

Big Rob

thanks for the compliments guys


note: hey eddie what happend to the quick replies?

___________________________________________
open minds are like sand dollars - they do exist but finding one in tact is never easy. water erodes them, nature breaks them, and every time i get a chance, I SMASH THE HELL OUT OF THEM WITH MY FOOT!!!

i have come to the groggy realization that my entire life is lived in the effort to avoid boredom...