xaizen

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This is by far the most dumb thing i have ever done in my entire life.

I have recently got back with my ex girlfriend of 10 months. We took a 3 week break for different reasons, mainly because we fought. ALOT.

So it didn't take long after we got back together to start fooling around again. She is a virgin, i am as well, she is 17, i am 18. Now, when i start fooling around (fingering, if you'd like to know specifics) i notice that she feels much looser. I used to use 2 fingers and 3 would be painful to her, then she told me to use 3 and it felt good to her. Now, she doesnt play or use any sex toys so i know im her only sexual server, except for the hot tub, so to speak.
While we fool around, she also tells me she wants me to make love to her, i pay no attention because she usually does this, i refuse because i told her i wouldnt do that because she would regret it. I promised her when we started at the beginning of the relationship that i wouldnt have sex with her until we are both completely comfortable. She says she is, but she always thanks me afterwards or stopping her.
However, her sexual appetite seems to have grown since we've been apart, it may be because she hasn't been with anyone else, or maybe it means she has been. That is my dilemma. I was suspicious then.
A week or so passes and things start to get really hot and heavy, she offers to do things she's never been willing to do before (bj) which made me a little suspicious but i was like, if youre ready, im fine with it. She didn't finish, so we started playing around some more. She keeps on bringing up sex, so i decide to give in, i tell her i have a condom...she thinks for a second and says dont get it, that we wont do anything, so i say ok. Things get even heavier as she brings my penis closer to her vagina, and i stop her and remind her again about the condom, she says no again.
Things get a little out of hand when she grabs my penis and sticks my head inside of her, she quickly takes it out with a gasp on her face. It was in for less than half a second. She breathes hard for a few seconds and does it again. I stop her from doing it a third time. Although i wanted it so bad, i still promised her. I talk her into stopping, and we do, while we discuss our versions of what being a virgin still means to both of us. After we decide that we are both still virgins, we clothe and i take her home before midnight.
She goes on a planned 2 week vacation, where i talked to her only once.
She gets back today and i call her after work to say hi, but its too late for me to come over her house. She then brings up something that gave me hot flashes while sweat poured down my face. She says she thinks she is pregnant. I stop breathing for what seems like an eternity. She tells me she has all the symptoms, Lack of menstrual cycle, sickness, sore breasts, tiredness etc. and she asks me if i came. I reassured her i did not, i remember distinctly not cumming. I also remember taking the three S's (Shit, Shower, and Shave) before i went to pick her up, so i didnt ejaculate that day, and even if i did when i woke, i had pissed since.
My first thoughts were, "What the fuck did you do, you've ruined both your lives, youre in college and shes going to be in soon" and i reassured her that i still do love her and of course if something happened that i would never leave her, (which i wouldn't). I tell her to keep be updated and let me know if something happens and please tell me, and that she needs to take a hpt.
She says she doesn't want to take one, strangely. She mentioned a reason but i wasn't paying attention because i was trying to recall the events that had happened that day.
We hang up, and i go online and do searches of people who have prenancy symptoms and don't have pregnancies. I find nothing. I look for 3 hours and can't find what i am looking for. But i do find some interesting articles on pre-cum which almost assure me that i couldnt have made her pregnant. I try to sleep it off but i can't, the thought of this just drives me insane.
Then it hits me. How loose she was. How she begged me much much harder to make love to her, how extra nice she was to me, how she refused the condom and how she conveniently grabbed my penis and shoved it in her, she's never done that before, ever. I then can't sleep at all. It just leaves me with these questions to ask you guys who dared to read this long story:

Am i just being paranoid?
Is She just being paranoid about the sex/pregnancy?
Does it seem like she tricked me to take the fall?
Can i get her pregnant from pre-cum that has not been infused with actual cum?
Is there such a thing as pregnancy symptoms without pregnancy?
If all of it is true and it is mine, how will i find a way to go through college and support a family?
If all of it is true and it isnt mine, what the hell do i do?


Please Help Me, -Desperate Xaizen

polgas

ok ... the probability of IT not being yours is incredibly high.
although pre-cum CAN get someone pregnant, i think she's trying to get YOU (someone who loves her) to be the father of her kid rather than someone else she got it on with

here are other probabilities ...
she's DOES NOT have a regular menstrual cycle. please ask her if she does or does not. if she does not, her chances of being pregnant go down a little

ask her straight away about her sudden change in attitude re: sex. and if she got it on with somebody else (at this point she will turn the tables and say how evil you are ... stay strong) (if you ARE evil, you can assure her that you'll take care of her even if the kid is NOT yours ... just to get her to fess up)

to be continued

polgas

IF she did get it on with someone else ... drop the bitch like a good habit.
i mean, you only have one life ... and she tried to mess it up

Patito

Based on what you said, I agree the odds are if she IS pregnant it's not yours.
Is she on birth control pills? If not, her periods can be more irregular and maybe it's just running late naturally. Not being on birth control, and if that was the first time she had actually had a penis even somewhat inside her, it may have scared her to make her think she has symptoms of pregnancy she doesn't actually have. I say, make her take a home pregnancy test or go to a doctor (Planned Parenthood if there's one nearby for you) and find out for sure. If it turns out she's not really pregnant, ask her to start taking birth control pills if she's not (again, see Planned Parenthood).

If she actually is pregnant, be strong and take Polgas's advice and confront her about sleeping with someone else. If it's not yours then leave her unless you really love her, but I say you can do better. That baby will just be a scar on both your lives about how she cheated on you. If she still claims it's yours, you could go as far as to get a DNA test, but if it's yours, then you need to be a man and help take car of the kid, or talk to her about adoption or an abortion.

Also, mad props to you for holding out on sex for so long.

kulotsalot

*sigh* I feel sorry for you. Main reason why I haven't done it yet is because I did not want to end up in this situation, and I'd rather live with sexual frustration rather than worry about having a kid at 17, getting kicked out of my parents' house, etc. But this is not about me, it's about you.

It looks to me as if she really is trying to trick you to take care of HER mess. If I remember my biology correctly, based on a 28-day cycle, a woman would be fertile at around Day 14, so let's give it a 2-day grace period on both directions and say she's fertile from Day 12-16. Let's assume you took your "break" on Day 12, she fucked some dude on Day 14. Two weeks go by and she expects to get her period, which mysteriously doesn't happen. If she's irregular maybe she waits another week just to be sure.



Found that somewhere online. So, ok, it's the 3rd week of your break, she thinks she's pregnant, maybe she even took a HPT and tested positive. She gets back together with you because she knows you love her enough to take care of her in this situation. She goes on a 2-week vacation (supposedly if you got her pregnant then she needs some 2-3 weeks before she can find out, right?) then calls you up to tell you the bad news.

Did she want to get back together with you, or was it your idea? Because if she did (and it looks like she's initiating everything: the offer to give you head, have sex, not use any protection, and actually physically grabbing you) then that's one more point against her.

What's really suspicious is that she did NOT want you to use a condom even though you offered a couple of times. I mean, knowing that she is female and it's her life that will be greatly affected if she got pregnant, it seems like using one is the most logical choice, and she can't claim that she was so caught up in the moment that she forgot - you fucking OFFERED to go get one and stopped her a couple of times.

What to do?

(1) Be there when she takes a HPT. All the "What if she is, what if she isn't?" crap will wear you down. Once you know what's up then you can take action.
(2) If she's not pregnant (probability is low) then you can breathe easy.
(3) If she's pregnant, you want to know if it's yours or not. Yes, pre-cum can get somebody pregnant, but the probability is low that you got her pregnant. You can wait til she has the baby to have a paternity test done, or you can force a confession out of her now.

Good luck, keep us posted.

clamsrus

If you had intercourse right on ovulation....day fourteen after onset of mestruation, there is a about a four day window where she is 'hot to trot' and likely to conceive.
Assuming she conceives at latest day 18 and she is away for two weeks, it is highly unlikely she would know she was pregnant by body changes, vaginal secretions, breast soreness etc until some time after she had missed her period.

If however she had been playing hide the salami prior to you both getting back together, then some of the changes you would find generally include a looser and better lubricating vagina and breast fullness due to the hormonal shift with the rising progesterone levels, and she may at that stage be aware that her body is different and have already missed her period, assuming of course she is regular.

Precum contains sperm....not many mind you....but it sure as hell sounds to me like she wanted to give every little one of them a chance of their lifetime.

My hit is that she probably is a virgin ...like clinton didn't have sex with that woman.
If she has in full knowledge tried to misslead you then the depth of your love...and whether it is reciprocated will soon be plain. If she has fallen pregnant after the shy side of 0ne seconds partial penetration, then you are either the unluckiest sod on this planet, you have herculean sperm and should call the Guiness Book of Records, or she's yanking your chain, your dick, and your heartstrings......not what I would call a class act. Better get the facts straight my friend, and if they are not forthcoming, vote with your feet.

TheMooninites

Oh was a predicament you have.

I agree with everyone who replied in the fact that you gotta get her to take the pregnancy test, in fact I suggest going and buying one and show up at her place with it so she can't make excuses like oh I don't have one and what not.

As for the possibility for her being pregnant from you only entering her twice I doubt she get pregnant from that.

From what you said of her actions she most likely did hook up with some guy when you two were on a break and progressively tried to get you in her so she could say it was yours as it be a few weeks difference and when a doctor determines the conception date of a child I believe it can vary by a few weeks form the date they determine.

If she ain't pregnant I ask her what was up wit her recent actions and if she hooked up with guy, if she did hook up with a guy I drop her even if you care about her alot as she most likely did another guy without a condom and was scared she might be pregnant and tried to set you up by doing what she did.

And that is total BS.

If she is pregnant you get a DNA test ASAP.
If it isn't yours drop her, if it's yours you be very unlucky as you never really did her and to get her pregnant off that sucks especially with all the holding back you have done for who knows how long.

If it is yours then I discuss abortion/adoption with her as you two don't need something like this happening to you at the current stages of your lives.

Now if you wanna stay with her if she is not pregnant then I get her on birth control ASAP because even if she didn't do another guy which is highly doubtful her sexual cravings are too great for her not to be on the pill.

If you wanna be with her if she is pregnant with another guy's child then I tell her to get that guy to support it financially as you shouldn't pay for another guy's work. Or at least for the guy to do the majority of the financial support.

But I recommend if it isn't yours not to be with her then as that child will be a constant reminder of her cheating/lying ways and the child will be resented by you at least.

If you wanna be with her if she is pregnant with your child and she don't wanna get rid of it one way or another then obviously do the right thing and support the child. A positive out of this is now there is no need to hold back as you can do her all you want now and without a condom as she be pregnant already.

All in all no matter how this play's out it will be bad in some way that's for sure.

So best of luck to you as you will need all the luck you can get to get out of this situation ok.

polgas

the others are right ...
confirm the pregnancy first, then you can decide what to do next

ive been through thinking if i got somebody pregnant myself ... (with precum too)
and its an incredibly weakening experience.

stay strong and keep a clear mind

lilconner

sorry dude..........

lilconner

i fucked her

kulotsalot

No smart-ass replies in the Vaginarium. If you do this again

zeppy

Honestly, I'd say that if she is pregnant at all, it very likely is not yours... if a kid pops out, have a paternity test.

As far as the whole hearing "I think I'm pregnant" thing, I've been there before, man. It's the friggin worst feeling. Luckily for me, she wasn't. Just hang in there and feel (if you can) some comfort that if she does have a kid, it's not yours and you won't be the one responsible for it.

Also, I'd say that depending on how the rest of the relationship is going, it may be time for a new girlfriend... that chick sounds exactly like my ex (except for the whole virgin part anyway), and if she is, run, run while you still can.

Well, hope I helped anyway.

CD

The only problem with the advice given is if the kid really is yours. You tell a girl to take a paternity test and she didn't cheat... you are shit up a creek without a paddle.

Now with that being said, I do believe she has been "cheating". A girls personality and tastes will not drastically change during normal activities. It takes someone else to do that. And that someone else isn't you. Sorry man.

___________________________________________

kulotsalot

Well, the thing is, it sounds like he's prepared/willing to take responsibility if it is his. However, it sure as hell sounds like it isn't, and we don't want him to clean up somebody else's mess just because he's a good guy, right?