La_LovelyLady

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Okay...I'm having two issues. First issue...I'm a nice girl...which really stinks some times cause I get my feelings hurt easily. Anyway...I was dating this guy for about a year...he turned out to be a complete ass. I did everything for him...bought him everything he needed...(cause he didn't work) ...finally trusted him enough to get him a job where I work...(great job let me add) and as soon as he found his life normal he found someone else. Which...is okay. I'm over that part...the problem is I have to see the jackass on a daily basis. He's informed me that I'm white trash...which I am so far from. He actually watches who I talk to at work...what I do...where I go...and asks everyone questions about me. Anywho...how to confront him without it stirring up mess at work. I simply want him to leave me alone. I'm just tired of the bs.

Now..on to the second issue... there is this really attractive guy at work. Had a class with him and went on a business trip to Wisconsin with him in October...so...I feel comfortable talking to him. BUT...here's what I need help with...I'm not shy when just talking to a guy...but...I am shy when I'm interested. Why?? Come to find out ...we've both joined the same co-ed softball team at work...I'm rambling...sorry...sooooooo... how do I let him know in subtle yet sweet ways that I'm interested? It's always been an ongoing flirty type of deal. I need guys opinions.

michaeljohn

Ok, part one. Your job must have some policies regarding sexual harrasment. Since he is asking questions about you, this could be interpretted as some form of harrasment. Speak to your supervisor, express concerns.

Part two. Ignore his ass. Start flirting with someone else and make sure he sees it. He will come around or he won't, then you know.

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Ryan

OK wait wait wait... you said to hit up the first guy on sexual harrassment charges, and then you tell her to flirt with someone to make the other guy want her? There's some flawed logic being used here.

If you ask me, guys are more shy than girls, and if a girl expresses interest in a guy he will more than likely go for her. I say ask him out to lunch sometime. I'm a pretty shy guy, and back when I worked at Best Buy there was this chick in another department that was... well... hot. I saw her in the lunch room one time and just casually said, "hey, I'm going to <restaurant> for lunch, you want anything?" And it went from there. It was just casual sex, but shit I've never approached a chick before and it worked!

Sooo... use your slyness, wear something slightly more revealing than normal and ask him what he's doing for lunch because your "lunch date cancelled" or because you "can't figure out what to eat and need ideas."

By the way, what do you do that you consider a "good job"? I need a new job- I'm sick of mine.

-Ryan

whiteROB

Ok...you got him a job where you work, and you have ran into problems. Why on earth do you want to risk bringing that upon yourself again by dating another coworker?

There are reasons that companies have rules aginst dating coworkers, and most companies frown upon hiring family, friiends, and partners of employees for exactly these reasons.

As far as the harassment goes, I would speak to a supervisor and let them help with matters. If that dosent work, cut him up into small pieces, and dump him in the bayou.

michaeljohn

You miss the point entirely.

My first suggestion is for her to talk to her supervisor confidentially. If the guy is asking questions about her this is harrasment, and a very serious allegation. But I never said to charge him with it, let the boss do his/her job.

2nd point, there is already flirting going on between her and the guy she likes. This is not harrasment. This is mutual. Also quite innocent. La_LovelyLady already agrees with me ignoring a person is a good way to get their attention. See the "How to pick a girl" thread in this forum. If her "guy" sees her flirting (innocently I may add) with another fellow from work, he will either make a move, or ignore her, that simple. Then she knows.

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whiteROB

I'm not sure I totally buy into that, but who knows.

michaeljohn

Worth a try, eh?

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HIJACKER

If you haven't already, you need to approach the first guy and talk to him. Ask him what his reasons are for acting the way he his and tell him it needs to stop that enough is enough. Do it tactfully, and let that be his warning. If that doesn't work, THEN I would go to the supervisor.

Concerning the second guy, just keep things cool and slow. Do exactly that, ask him to join you for lunch one day or something and go out for something to eat. From there, let him take the initiative in asking you to dinner sometime or whatever.

I do agree with Whiterob completely though, you have already had a problem dating a co-worker, so.. why do it again? I know I refuse to date anyone I ever work with just for those reasons. You see them all day long at work then you see that all night at home, causes there to be to much of to each other, and you find yourself wanting space or time away.

Just be patient and wait...

As far as guy number 1...

As far as guy number 2... :hsnono:


One more question though.. what about me?? :wiggle:

elfoozo

Rule number 1 in dating: Don't fuck where you work - ever! (but it's ok to fuck at work, just don't get caught) If you have any questions as to "why not", refer back to your original complaint.

He's asking everybody about you because he's jealous for whatever his reasons are. Some guys are just possessive like that even when they've moved on.

You're in for a long, long painful road until this guy gets a job someplace else. Odds are good that he'll try to ruin you somehow so you're the one moving on to another job, so be extremely careful in your comments, observations, and any waves you might make (like talking in confidence to a supervisor that you don't know he bowls with or something). You don't want him getting any ammo to displace you from your happy environment. If he's truly an ass, eventually he will step on his own pickle on his own without your help. Make sure the two of you can never exchange words alone at work so you have a witness. Let him instigate any instances and try to hold back from decking him, but be tactful in your responses. He will cross the line on his own and you not playing into it will just make him push the edge quicker. You just give him the right time to hang himself.

La_LovelyLady

Okay...I understand and completely take all of the information into consideration. BUT...the second guy...does not actually work in the same group as me. The company I work for is a pretty large company...just so happens I work in the same building...but not in the same group. He's supervisor of internet support...I'm in the back in 911...not that that is actually important...but..it's not like we are so directly connected at work that it would truly complicate things... Also...another little tidbit of info...he's actually guy number one's supervisor. *sigh* I've not only spoken to several of his team leads regarding him...but they have come to me as well stating the silly things he does. So, elfoozol...perhaps you are correct...he'll hang himself without my help. *kisses* thanks you guys...

elfoozo

Robul?? hehehe nope.

La_LovelyLady

*hugs* sorry elfoozo *sigh* Don't know where my mind was...

SoupNazi

for the second dude, just ask him out. If he's single he'll probably say yes, judging by your pics

robul

huh what?? what did i do this time?