Justin

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>: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
>: Not being retarded
>
>: What's blue and fucks old people?
>: Hypothermia
>
>: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of thebattered wives' shelter?
>: The dishes if she knows what's good for her
>
>: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
>: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
>
>: What is the definition of "making love"?
>: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
>
>: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?
>: They don't fucking listen.
>
>: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
>: Gonorrhoea
>
>: Why did God create yeast infections?
>: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt once in a while too.
>
>: How can you tell a macho woman?
>: She rolls her own tampons.
>
>. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
>: The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.

>. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
>: Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13 years old.
>
>. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
>: Marry it.
>
>. What do you get when you cross two black people?
>: Your ass kicked.
>
>. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
>: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
>
>. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
>: Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
>
>. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
>: Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.
>
>. Why do women call it PMS?
>: Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
>
>. What's a mixed feeling?
>: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
>
>. What's the height of conceit?
>: Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
>
>. What's the definition of macho?
>: Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
>
>. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
>: The cake jumps out of the girl.
>
>. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
>: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
>
>. How is pubic hair like parsley?
>: You push it to the side before you start eating.
>
>. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
>: You know she'll swallow.
>
>. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
>: They don't want to wear out the camel.
>
>: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
>: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
>
>: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
>: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
>
>: How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
>: When the big hand touches the little hand...
>
>. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
>: Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.
>
>. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
>: They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
>
>. Why is divorce so expensive?
>: Because it's worth it.

Q: What's the difference between a job and a wife?
A: The job still sucks after a few years!

peptofunk

i wasnt offended, i want my money back.

funny as shit though. :thumbsup:

treydogg526tx

that was good...

Big Rob

REFUND!!

robul

Freaky Kiki

i didn't like the ones that were rude about us women but the other ones were good...

dano9672

Well, it worked then- you were offended. You <i>were</i> warned.

I wasn't offended by any of them, you'll have to try harder.

Freaky Kiki

u weren't offended because ur a male and don't have the title of housewife givin to you and being told ur just the one who is going to be ordered around to do everything... thats why u weren't offended

Dingle

ehhh we just like to joke about it.. you know you women have the men by the balls most of the time in a relationship.. so let us have our fun

BooBookittyFuck

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yah have your fun. it's all good
I laughed at all the jokes.. offensive or not.

dano9672

<i>So</i> not true. My wife orders me around all the time.

___________________________________________
...and his ghost can be heard as you walk along the bill-a-bong, "Won't you come waltzing, Matilda, with me?"

Freaky Kiki

hahahahahaha well its people always tell us that we r going to be the house wife and do everything. glad u guys think different. now i hope rob does..........

Big Rob

' getcho ass in the kitchen and make me some BROWNIES!'

treydogg526tx

/me laughs so hard, it pisses Wanda off.... oh crap... back to the corner....