Big Rob

click on one of our sponsors! OR REMOVE ADS

A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table.
The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?"
The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since an Efficiency Expert visited our restaurant... He determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."
The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"
The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same Efficiency Expert determined that we spend to much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string, do my thing, and then return to work. Having never touched myself, there really is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time."
"Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants?"
"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."

___________________________________________
open minds are like sand dollars - they do exist but finding one in tact is never easy. water erodes them, nature breaks them, and every time i get a chance, I SMASH THE HELL OUT OF THEM WITH MY FOOT!!!

i have come to the groggy realization that my entire life is lived in the effort to avoid boredom...

robul

Freaky Kiki

ewwwwwwwwww i don't know about using spoons anymore. lol well i dunno

Dingle

thats great :thumbsup:

dano9672

Two guys are walking through the woods when they come across a huge hole in the ground. "I wonder how deep it is?" asks the first.

"Let's see," says the second and he drops a pebble in. They listen, but hear nothing. "Wow, that's deep."

"Yup," says the first and he drops in a softball sized rock. They listen, but hear nothing. "Wow, that's deep."

"Yup," answers the second and he drops in a football sized rock. They listen, but hear nothing. "Wow, that's deep."

The first goes into the woods and drags out an ls1 with no heads and a hole in the block. He drops it into the hole and they both listen, but hear nothing. "Wow, that's really deep."

About that time a boat comes out of the woods headed right at them. They both dive to the side as the boat plunges into the hole.
"Wow, that was weird," said the first. They listen, but hear nothing.

Puzzled, they leave the woods. A sailor walks up to them and asks, "Have either of you seen my boat?" The two guys tell him about the boat that almost knocked them into the deep hole. "That wasn't my boat," he replies, "my boat was anchored to an old ls1 with no heads and a hole in the block."

shannon

Posts: n/a/0

Threads:

:confused2 that was dumb...:(

peptofunk

i thought that was kinda funny

Freaky Kiki

oooooooooooooooooooooook

dano9672

Hmmm..... I'm probably "sundowning".

Big Rob

Robul meets a girl out at a nightclub and she invites him back to her place for the night, her parents are out of town and this is the perfect opportunity.
They get back to her house and they go into her bedroom, and when Robul walks in the door he notices all these fluffy toys. There's hundreds of them, fluffy toys on top of the wardrobe, fluffy toys on the bookshelf and window sill, there's more on the floor, and of course fluffy toys all over the bed.
Later, after they've had sex, he turns to her and asks, ''So, how was I?''
She says, ''Well, you can take anything from the bottom shelf.''

Waldo

ROFL

dano9672

A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons.

"If I open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside, leave 'em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?"

The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps. After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals-unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered.

"Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd. After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I'll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."

peptofunk

heh... alligator

BooBookittyFuck

Posts: n/a/0

Threads:

heh. dork.. do you not get the joke?