mrspy

click on one of our sponsors! OR REMOVE ADS

hi everyne this is my very first post but ive been reading the forum for a quite long time now.
Anyways i need ur help in something,

Before starting i would like to tell u that I am not the girl type of guy, meaning I do not go well with girls. Im always shy I always avoid talking to girls, not that im gay, but i just cant do it properly, I cant talk to a girl normally.
Anyways,
I am now in grade 12, in a segregated school, but the guys meet the girls occasionally, like at events and so on, unless u know the girls.
To get to the point I have known a girl since last year and she looked pretty but since my best friend had a crush on her i never had the idea in my mind that i liked her.
But this year its kinda different. My best freind left the country, and I met this girl again at several occasions. The last time I spoke to her was about 3 months ago, but I would see her every once in a while. Then I just realized that I have a crush on her, but Im afraid to say it out. I have only spoken to one friend of mine about it and he said that it perfectly can be when i told him that its impossible. I mean you would never think about us going out together.
Now the year has come to an end, and i have prom soon. I want to ask her but Im just shy. I dont know what to do. I need some advice on what to do. And I dont thnk that she will be going to prom with anyone else, at least that what I know.
Please give some advice

Brada888

Dude, just take her out the side, and just express your feelings to her, but don't talk fast, you'll probably freak her out. Just talk calm, and just say you like her. when you get the time later, after hooking up with her, tell her your girl problems.

Wilken

I'm pretty much in agreement. There's no way around it, really - but I can help make it as painless as possible. You will have a speech thought out in advance, where you make some super-cool speech like you see in the movies, and she falls totally in love with you. It's not a bad plan, but will never happen in real life.

I'm not psychologist, but your main problem with girls is you yourself. If you truly believe that you are the man, and that the girl is doing herself a favor by going to the prom with you, then it works out great. The problem is that most people have plenty of self doubt strapped across their back, and that prevents them from laying things out on the line. The guys who think they ARE the man usually come off as arrogant pricks that should be hit by a bus. SO - what are you to do? You have to know you're the man, but not tell anyone about it. It ain't easy, brotha. I think the best way to do it is to not put so much stock in her answer. You need to have a steel resolve, and if she says no, then you play it cool, and take off - always be ready to walk away from the sale, in the long run it will pay off huge when she (or her friends) realizes you aren't a pussy.

I may be getting in too deep here. My (usually not-so-good) advice for your current situation is to keep things very simple, and it will require you to sack up. Get her alone, even if you just have to pull her aside in the hall ("Hey can I talk to you for a minute?"). Then just keep things short and sweet - "I kinda like ya, and was wondering if you wanted to go to the prom with me?" (That's where the balls come in). The good news is that she'll say yes out of guilt, even if she doesn't want to go with you, but HOW she says it can help you determine what sort of a night you're in for.

Don't forget, if you get handed the No Card, no big deal, it's her loss anyway - unless you're a total zilch, in which case she did the right thing. Stay strong.

mrspy

wow...that was more than I expected .....

That was great....thanks alot...ill try to tell you if anything happens---thats if i have the balls---

and i forgot to say thhat i know that my body will shake if i were to do that but what am i to lose ill try it anyways..and im leaving this place anyays for university...

mrspy

Oh and i forgot to ask you another thing.....

is it weird to ask a girl in prom (during prom itself) for a dance when she's by herself, or rude maybe, when i couldve asked her before she got in.

If it's not then how would I go about it....

Wilken

If she's alone at the prom, and not dancing, then she's probably having a pretty shitty time, and you're doing her a favor by asking her to dance.

I mean, come on, you knew what our answers were going to be before you asked this quesiton, and you already knew what you had to do - just ask her. The move itself is super simple - "Hey you wanna dance?" - but you just gotta ball up and do it...chances are good that if you act nervous, she'll think you're "cute" and sweet for asking her, double win.

Bigeme

I can tell you what not to do. Don't get drunk and call her a slut (or eat oysters while your drunk, but thats another topic.) Yea I did that one time to a girl I liked. She didn't really act like I expected her to. Just kinda ignored me then a few weeks later IMed me and pretended like nothing happened. Weird thing is we still chat every once in a while... That reminds me next time I see her I should apologize.

mrspy

No worries...I'm not into that kinda stuff..I dont like smokin or drinkin but hey great ...thanx for the help....

Do u think that it is weird for a girl to ask a guy to a dance during prom....if it is then it happened to me once in junior prom but I refused...the girl ended up crying..I guess I hurt her feelings...too bad i didnt get the chance to apologize

kulotsalot

Hehe. You got asked to dance, and you refused? Was she butt ugly, did she smell horrible or something? How bad can it be, just 2-3 minutes dancing with her and you can walk away... why did you refuse to dance with her?

I actually asked a guy to go to the prom with me. Sure I was dared to do it and he was one of my friends but still took some courage to do so because I had a teensy weensy crush on him. It was very casual, when we were on our break during army training. I just went up to him and said "Do you have a date for prom?" and he said "No" so I said "Wanna go with me?" He said "Yeah, sure" and promptly forgot about it. A week before prom he was calling me, asking what color flowers would go with a pink dress. And I'm not wearing a pink dress, so I *knew* he'd forgotten and asked someone else. Well, whatever. I was a bit pissed, of course, but why ruin it for two other people by pressing the issue and insisting that he go with me? I didn't need a guy to be my "official date" for prom, I knew I had lots of friends who would dance with me and we could all have fun together, without worrying about that romantic, mushy, should-I-lose-my-cherry-tonight kinda deal. We all went to a friend's house afterwards and took turns playing stuff on her brother's Playstation, drinking and laughing and having a great time.

So, here I am, five years after Senior Prom, and I'm not scarred for life over that incident. When you're older prom will be "just another social function" so there's no sense losing sleep over it. Just walk up to her, smile, and ask if she wants to go to the prom with you. If she says Yes, then Alright!!! If she doesn't, no biggie, there are other girls out there, and you can do the rounds and take your pick during prom night.

Juan.©amaney

20 year olds in High School? Come back in a few months.

___________________________________________

Doonz

MY Two Cents= All girls especially singel or lonley (watch it married guys) like to talk... There is nothing wrong with saying HI and taking it from there... she is a nervous as you...the smooth pick up line do nothing but slam the door in your face... they work in the movies because they are in the script thatway....if she doesnt say Hi back or is a stone cold bitch... well you didnt know her in the first place but now you glad you didnt...

Brada888

Heres to your second question,
"is it weird to ask a girl in prom (during prom itself) for a dance when she's by herself, or rude maybe, when i couldve asked her before she got in." - mrspy

No, it shouldn't be. maybe awkward at first, but it shouldn't be a problem. Hell, when I went to prom, and I had my gf with me, I had to talk to her before prom that I owed another girl a dance, (one of my craziest highschool experiences). Any way, I danced with the girl, and went bk to my gf, and promised not to dance with any one any more. And everything smoothed over.

As of your third,
"Do u think that it is weird for a girl to ask a guy to a dance during prom....if it is then it happened to me once in junior prom but I refused...the girl ended up crying..I guess I hurt her feelings...too bad i didnt get the chance to apologize" - mrspy

Dude, have u heard of a "sadie hawkins" dance. Its when girls have to ask the guys.

but, dude, you should look up your last year directory, and find the chick, call her up, and just apologize. I guess girls get the best of guys when it comes to emotional stuff. Any one have an opinion on that?

natew91

well i used to be more shy when i was younger, you just have to gain the confidence by trying. If you never try youll never gain it. Its hard but just think to yourself i gotta sack up if she shoots me down the f it at leats i can say i gave it a shot and i can go on without wondering what if. Id say since prom is coming up ask her first, do something creative to ask her you dont even have to be in the room like rose peda;ls to her room with a bear and a note aksing her to prom and your name and when the night comes talk to her than at the end of the night itd be a good moment, but all i gotta say is sack up and do it otherwise youll always be wondering. Hope things work out for ya dude.
Nate