jcoop

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I just need to vent a little bit

I'm struggling in my computer science course, it sucks because I'm trying SO HARd and I just can't figure it out.

My best friend is in a psych ward with some mental problem. He hasn't been diagnosed yet. He's got alot of symptoms of shizo though.

My girlfriend back home (Im a freshman at a school in New Hampshire, she's in NJ) has been staying out later than ever and partying more and I'm finding myself to become insanely jealous.

My other good friend's dad died a couple months back. He thinks his dad died from a heartattack, but he didn't. I know how he really died and I wish I never knew.

Yesterday I had a total breakdown, I just cried and punched the ground. I talked to my parents and they said to try and tackle the issues one step at a time, but I can't tackle these issues, I don't even know, Im just so stressed out. and I have a fucking C++ program to write for tomorow and I have NO FUCKING clue how to write it.

lastexit

Go for a walk

jcoop

I had a meltdown again today, second melt down in 2 days.

I was on the phone with my girlfriend when some guy called her cell phone while we were talking. I just lost it, for a split second I lose all control and I just totally rage out. After that I am completely numb, followed by being very emotional and very easy to rage out at the slightest thing.

I am NOT an agressive person at all. Im the farthest thing from being aggressive, for example I was voted as being friendliest for the senior class superlatives.

I'm scared at what's happening ot me =/

kulotsalot

Aww, so sorry to hear that so much is going on in your life and you feel like you can't handle it.

First, with the computer science thing, do you have any friends who can help? Classmates you can study with and who can maybe talk you through the process of doing things? I was majoring in that before I moved to Canada, and there was this one time I spent days trying to debug this simple program that I *knew* for sure was supposed to work, but for some reason it wouldn't compile. I got so frustrated and cried and threw stuff around and everything (just pens and some pillows, nothing major), had a friend look at it and after 3 minutes she was like "You're missing a semi-colon here." which was an end-of-statement mark. Just that and it worked like a charm. So... friends! They're there to help you out!

Second, the friend with thse schizo. Usually, as long as they're on meds, schizos act just like normal people, and you wouldn't be able to tell they're schizo. I used to work with a schizophrenic once, and I had no clue until he told me that he used to think that everyone was out to get him, and a red hanky seemed like it was the devil talking to him, and he thought he was the son of god... but with meds he's completely normal. So, don't worry about it too much. See www.bcss.org for more information on schizophrenia.

Third, the girlfriend from back home. I have no clue how tight your schedule is or how long it would take to go to NJ, but it would be good if you could get together and talk about things. I also don't know what kind of person your girlfriend is, so the only person who would know what she's looking for would be herself, and you (by extension) if you really, really know her. It could be just having fun and making friends and enjoying the freedom afforded by getting out of high school, or it could be a call for attention; maybe she is calling for more attention from you, whether it is a conscious decision to do so or not. If it is the former, I suggest being nonchalant about it; clinging, insecure, childish jealousy will not be received well by her, and I think a person has to have trust in a SO that he/she will make the right decisions (not cheat), you can't always be watching her like a hawk and being suspicious of her every move. The temptation to cheat is always there, it is up to the person to decide if he/she decides to do something about it or ignore it. If it is the latter, however, more attention to her is definitely needed. Maybe more calls/texts/emails etc. to let her know that though your schedule is busy, you still took the time to send her these little things, and that she is special to you.

If you still feel frustrated, don't take it out on your girlfriend/other friends, this could have disastrous results, unless they really REALLY understand that it is just venting, and you're not blaming her/them for anything. How about working out, taking a walk, any strenous physical activity that will get your mind off things. Working out gives more oxygen to your brain cells, too, and might help solve the C++ problems.

Hope that helps...

jcoop

heh, NOTHING will help me with C++ .I just don't understand. I go and see the teacher and TA both at least once a week to try and get extra help. It just doesn't make sense to me.

I know he'll eventually get better, but it's still a stressful thing for me =

With the girlfriend, I think alot of my issues were resolved last night on the phone, so Im feeling a bit better about that.

The gym has been a serious outlet for me, but the past couple of days I haven't been able to go since I've had so much work

kulotsalot

Hmm... maybe consider a different major. If you're just starting out (freshman year, right?) and it already stopped making sense to ya, think of how much harder it'd be in your senior year.

jcoop

Definitley choosing a different major, just have to make it through this course =P

ekierner

If computer Science isn't working for you, try something a little lighter in programming... Does your school offer a Management Information Systems type major? Perhaps in the business school?

If not, you may want to consider something in sales... I know it sounds really crappy... but I work for an IT consulting company and not a single one of of out sales people who have been with us for more than a year drives a car that cost them less than 35k. I think the worst car out of the bunch is a guy driving an older caddy....

Marketing is usually a good major if you are going to consider sales, and with being voted friendliest, you probably don't have the introverted geek lifestyle that is a requisite for being in IT... ;-) (that's a joke)

You know, I thought I wanted to do IT when I was in college, but now that I'm doing it all the time, I don't find it as rewarding. I'd recommend sticking to something that makes your heart race... something that makes your heart soar.... I really wish that I had gone into zoology...

My only other advice... don't stick with IT and figure you'll go back and get something else if you don't like it.... You probably won't go back....

By the way, if you don't like these suggestions, you might consider looking in to real estate. A lot of people do really well in real estate.... I won't lie to you.... a lot of people fail miserably.... but many do well.

Whatever you choose to do, good luck with it!

jcoop

I've been thinking about that, I want to do something exciting, I don't want to be bored. In school I constantly feel restless, like I need an adventure or something.

I was thinking something like law enforcement, but I could never be a normal cop. I couldn't live with myself if I had to hand out speeding tickets or arrest some kid for smoking pot.

I'd like to go after the real bad guys.

Surfrock66

I am an Ex-CS major, I still do computers all the time as a hobby but the classes and how miserable I was made it not worth it. I found something else (student administration) which I'm much better at and enjoy much more. Be honest with yourself, I held onto CS for so long because I felt ppl expected me to do it (I'm a huge geek) and because I don't like the idea of quitting because somethign was too hard. But there comes a time where you haev to lsiten to yourself and realize what's best for you. The most important thing you can learn in college is about yourself, almost nothing in the classrooms is useful in the long run.