3nigm4tic

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cry about it? or do you want a cookie?

Jimi

Alright man. On with the conversation. You worry way too much about what other people type on a fucking forum.

RB76

Hooking up with a girl one night after a party, we started fooling around after spending some time going down on her, she says, "So, do you want to fuck me?" Oh so suavely, I am dumbstruck at how forward she was, I hesitated for a second. Before I could respond, she asks, "Do you have a girlfriend?" I nodded. Then she says, "Don't worry, so do I," and the coyly adds, "Let's not tell them."

To this day I don't know if she meant that she had an actual girlfriend or was just indicating that she was attached as well.

ljg069

I don't know if this is the best quote in the world, but after sex one night, my girlfriend asked me, "Does My Butt Stink"? I said no, and excused myself to the shower where I could not stop laughing.

ljg069

Yes It Did!!!!
We are no longer together.

RB76

A hawt friend of mine in college (unfortunately not a friend with benefits) relayed this quote to me. A guy she hooked up with was about to go down on her when he stopped and asked the following question: "Can you hold my beer?"

thejman

This happened last year to my now roomate...he was with a chick for the first time, and he says they starting going at it..but he couldn't feel anything (trojan thickass condom) and he got bored so he started going "Credit card in, credit card out..." with each thrust with the chick.

Needless to say...he never got with her like that again...retard.

Twilight

ahahaha... some men always know just what to say...

straycat66

I have 2

Fiance ...Oh god I think you are hitting my spleen !

Ex GF Eat my sloppy fuckin pussy!

ATM Banana

hahaha, thats hilarious. I heard some girl walk out of my dorm mates room saying "well at least you tried, and thats all that matters to me"


I busted up so hard I choked on my puke. (I was mildly intoxicated)

Jimi

So, now to the serious, since I'm drunk. I was down on this girl, and she said, "Oh sweet Jesus!" And I looked at her and said, "Are we praying, or doin' our thing".

Jimi

If y'all had seen the context, it was funny as hell.

scotty_c24

These are hilarious!

Mines not too funny but it the BEST thing i've heard during sex.
I was goin at it from behind with my ex in the shower after we had just finished a while ago in the bedroom and she got off hard as hell, it was the best thing i've ever seen. When she was done she turned around and practically couldn't stand up, hanging off me she wisperd "i can't feel my legs, your amazing". Needless to say the i felt like a god after hearing that

Jimi

"Scotty don't know, Scotty don't know......."