mike45

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I am in the military and currently deployed in the middle east. The situation here is we are gone for up to a year. Usually between 9 and 12 months. Would an affair, either by the servicemember or the significant other, be more forgiveable in this case than one, say, that happens on a short business trip or even in your own area? Servicemembers are away a long time. There is isolation and loneliness on the part of both individuals not to mention the plain lack of sex. I know there is always masturbation but sometimes a little companionship isn't bad.

I realize everyone has there own opinion on affairs and how they should be handled. Some say they wouldn't tolerate any affair no matter what the circumstances. Others believe it does depend on the circumstances. I am interested in your opinion based on this one circumstance that doesn't just happen to anyone.

OK, just to clarify, I am not looking for permission or forgiveness. I am also not admitting to nor denying anything. This is just a question that I would like a few opinions on. Thanks

HIJACKER

eh, this is a really hard one to answer, because... I know EXACTLY what your talking about. We all can simply say.. "It's completely worng, and you should never do that" but until your in the situation, it makes things tough to choose.

The girls are just as guilt as the guys on this, because I remember the days a deployment would leave Camp Lejeune and all the lights on the porch on base housing would turn on, trash can upside down on the right, and the broom on the left. (which means hubby not home, come on in). The bars would go from 1-2 chicks and being mostly empty to about 15-20 chicks on the FIRST night.

I'm not going to give you direct advice on the situation, however I will tell you how the old phrase goes.

In Okinawa - "What happens in Oki, stays in Oki"

... enough said.... do as you wish, but always remember the consequences that COULD follow and just ask yourself is the risk really worth it and how lucky are you when you gamble.

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kulotsalot

Well I dislike cheating no matter what the circumstances; and I think that if people get into relationships with sevicemembers, they should know about these deployments and the parties involved should have talked it over and agreed upon a set of rules to live by. Some people are ok with the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, while others will never, ever tolerate any on-the-side activities, so it's really up to the people involved, and the boundaries they set and how much they're willing to compromise in order to please the other person and make the relationship work.

Personally, I've been away from my ex for close to 2 years before we broke up and never had a problem with keeping my pants on. Granted, there wasn't really anyone around with whom I could do the cheating, but I made it a point to stay away from dodgy situations to minimize temptation. Was that determination, lack of opportunity or just plain ignorance of what I was missing? I don't know. But I do know that that was what I wanted, and that's what I did. As some wise man once said, If you want it that badly, you'll find a way. But if you don't, you'll find an excuse.

moviebuff88

well put kulots. really just depends on the people and not so much the situation. at the least, talk to your SO about where the lines should be. i always see that communication helps most anything.