motoxfts

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i've already put in one post about my Girlfriend and now, tonight, i had to goto the viewing of one of my closest friends and his funeral is tomorrow, and truthfully, i'm taking it really hard. we grew up together and now he's gone and i don't want to sound gay because i know some people take things the wrong way but i loved that guy so much. he was the first to say hey to me on the football field, the one who said he'd be my friend when i first started and we played up through high school and graduated together, partied together and 4 wheeled together, and now it's all over and i just, i don't know what to do. i'm at a lost with my life and my great grandmother is in the hospital and i feel like my life is falling apart. i don't know what you all could say to this, i guess i'm just expressing my feelings but i needed to tell someone and you all are all great people and i thought about posting here before talking to anyone else considering my closest friend which i confided everything into is now gone. thank for you all taking the time to read this. you all are all great people and never take anything for granted and please... dont' let your friends drink and drive... i don't want anyone to go through the loss i went through if it can be avoided

kulotsalot

Oh my god. I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't say that I feel your pain as I've never had to attend a funeral of anyone really close to me... but I imagine you're in horrible, horrible grief right now. I know it doesn't mean much to you right now, but quoting a wise man whom I know: What doesn't kill you will make you stronger. Your friends will probably be going through the same shock and bewilderment that you're in, be there for each other, do not let anyone slide into grief too much that they're lost in their own world, and time will eventually heal the scars.

All the best to you. We're always here to listen. If you need to talk to someone, feel free to PM me...

EvilMonkey

hi mate, i lost my mum when i was 19 and she was only 45. grief like that does three things it either consumes you, makes you stronger or makes you numb.

try to choose the second option, dont let it consume you. if you feel thats happening watch a sad film and cry your bollox off, thats what i have to do cos i find it hard to cry. after that it helps. Another way to help is by doing what your already doing and raising awareness about the dangers of drink driving.

that is the path to making you stronger, if he has family try and help them, which will in turn alleviate your own grief.

finally try not to go through life numb, i have as that was the only way i could deal with things. i dont think about mum or visit her grave, and all my memories of her illness are gone. i think it is the minds way of dealing with stuff it doesnt understand. so now i very rarely feel emotions except anger. i dont want you to do that.

just talk talk talk and you will come out the other end. i dont think it gets easier to deal with, its just as time passes you think about it less and remember the good times more.

hope this helps, even tho i cant help myself

beatercj5

try hard to remember all of the good times you guys had. I know its rough when you loose someone thats close. It takes time for the hurt to go away. I lost my litte girl to a drunk driver. she was with her mom and she was the only one that died, her car seat was done up and all. trust me You can overcome the pain. Spend lots of quality time with friends and family and like the other person said help out your buddys family..

Juana!

i'm sorry about what happened to you friend... stuff like this is what makes us grow and be stronger.. hang on.. you are strong... you are not flling apart... is a phase in your life that you will overcome...

feel free to pm or aim me if you need to "talk" to someone, and remember you are not alone.. you have the webraters to support you if u need...

Juana!

therev

Times get tough man, you gotta hang in there. Im only 21 and I lost my father at 12 and mother at like 15. It was tough and I was young but really just made me a stronge person. Things happen like after all that a cousin of mine lost his like 1 year after my grandmother died or emphasema (sp)... Its tough, and I can say that because I've ive experienced it first hand. Many deaths in my life and there will be more in yours and everyone elses. All I can say to you is what kept me strong through tough times. There are people that love you, there is a reason why that stuff happens, and it will get better. Maybe not right away, it might even get worse then it is right now, but eventually it will get better and you have to help it get better. Life is great and people come and go, it's a sad loss and a very hard thing to do (letting a good friend go) but thats life. I hope everything starts to go in the right direction for you soon. Keep your head up man

fyrwulv

i lost my best friend to a drunk driver, a.k.a. the driver of the car he was in, back in 94'. unfortunately i was in the navy and was not allowed to attend the services. for me this left me without closure. so i can say i know what you are goin through in that situation. my grandmother just got out of the hospital so i can sympathize with you there. i can truthfully say that the pain does eventually fade, but at least you get closure. i may seem a little callous there but i don't mean to be. only through time can you heal the wounds of the heart. i have found other friends who fill those places in my soul that where left empty by the deaths of my friends, and i can say with confidence that you will too. you just have to give it some time, work your way through the pain and possibly any anger you have from your friend leaving you in such a way. i was quite upset when my friends died, and as a result i never drink and drive. hell, i rarely even drink and never get drunk. i wish you all the joys you can possibly have.

motoxfts

I want to thank everyone for the help and support, i know i've posted alot lately, and i don't post alot at all, i mean, i found this place by accident but ever since i love the people here, thanks alot and it is hard but it's made me stronger i think, i've learned from his mistakes and i hate to say it like that but it happened for a reason and maybe he will save more lives than he'll ever know Thanks to EVERYONE

kulotsalot

I'm glad you're feeling better. It will not happen in an instant, the pain and grief will have to be dealt with for a long, long time, but at least the healing process is starting. If you ever need anyone to talk to we are all willing to listen to your problems. The number of posts don't matter, if you need help ask for it. Good luck...

Jimi

There's really not much to say in this situation that everyone else hasn't already said. That sucks man! I'm sorry for you. I just lost a best friend/roommate a few months back due to an accident. All I have to say is that what I realized, more or less, is that with life, comes death. It's a fact of life, and it happens to everyone. I don't know if you're a spiritual person or not, if so, I'll pray, if not, I'll pray anyway. Things do look up. Regardless of how lost you feel right now, the care you have for this guy, and your memories will stay forever.... the pain will fade.

orwell420

I feel so sorry for you. I lost my dad to cancer when I was 8 years old. This consumed me for the longest time thinking about what life would have been like if he was around, but thinking about constantly didn't help in the least. When I hit my teenage years I started smoking alot of pot so I wouldn't think about anything really, but this just numbed out my feelings and now I don't even really have any real memories of him anymore which makes me even sadder. This probably won't help but I just kind of needed to vent. Just make sure you never numb you feelings out when you think about him its the worst thing you can do.