WR - Have Jokes Will Travel

02-02-2003, 07:13 AM

I yam Nutz

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Have Jokes Will Travel

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:clap: i love to laugh........a lot.......so the best way to laugh aside from funny pics is to tell a good joke! and yes, i said good jokes..... :confused: those are the opposite of bad ones!

So the humorless need not apply......

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02-02-2003, 07:52 AM	#2
I yam Nutz Guest Posts: n/a/0 Threads: Friends Network	A prisioner escapes from his California Prision where he's been kept for the past 15 yrs. As he runs away he finds a house and breaks into it. There he finds a couple in bed...... He gets the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. And then proceeds to tie the woman to the bed. He climbs on top of her and starts kissing her neck, then jumps off and runs into the bathroom..... :smack: While he's in the bathroom, the husband tells his wife: Listen that guy is an escaped convict. He probably hasn't seen a woman in a long time....I saw the way he kissed your neck...If he wants sex, don't resist and don't complain,just give him satisfaction.The last thing we want to do is anger him because he might kill us if we don't keep him happy...Just be strong honey, I love you. :rub: The wife then responds:He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he found you very sexy and he asked if we kept the Vasaline in the bathroom....Just be strong honey, I love you too... :buttsex:

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02-02-2003, 11:50 PM	#3
ratt_finkel Guest Posts: n/a/0 Threads: Friends Network	LMAO....thats just wrong!

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02-03-2003, 12:08 AM	#4
Waldo your gf calls me daddy Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: your girlfriends house Posts: 9,513/4.43 Threads: 1305 Friends Network	a classic

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02-03-2003, 08:15 AM	#5
I yam Nutz Guest Posts: n/a/0 Threads: Friends Network	thank you thank you :clap: hehe now tell some......

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02-03-2003, 09:17 AM	#6
Big Rob The Biggest Rob Around Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Corpus Christi Posts: 1,883/0.88 Threads: 1 Friends Network	One day the teacher wanted the class to use the word definately in a sentence. Suzy raised her hand so she called on her. She said, "The sky is definately blue!" "I'm sorry Suzy thats wrong the sky sometimes turns different colors red ,gray etc.. any body else?" Timmy raised his hand and said, "The grass is definately green." "I'm sorry Timmy that's not true either, sometimes the grass dies and it may turn brown, anybody else?" Little Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher do farts have lumps?" The teacher says, "no why?" Johnny says, "Then I definately Shit my pants!"

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02-03-2003, 10:31 AM	#7
Big Rob The Biggest Rob Around Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Corpus Christi Posts: 1,883/0.88 Threads: 1 Friends Network	A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large... all in the name of humor." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little fucker on your knee!"

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02-03-2003, 10:37 AM	#8
I yam Nutz Guest Posts: n/a/0 Threads: Friends Network	nooo business ha x a lot that's funny :-P

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02-03-2003, 01:25 PM	#9
Big Rob The Biggest Rob Around Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Corpus Christi Posts: 1,883/0.88 Threads: 1 Friends Network	The Devil walks into a crowded bar. Within seconds the bar emptied with people running out screaming all over the place, all except for one old boy leant over the bar. The Devil wanders across to the old boy and says "Do you know how I am?" The old man took another sip of his beer and answered "Yep" The Devil stared at the old man and asked "Well aren't you afraid?" The old boy looks the Devil up and down for a minute and shrugs "nah, I've been married to your sister for 40 years. Why the hell should I be scared of you?"

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02-03-2003, 09:15 PM	#10
Freaky Kiki FBIA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Corpus Christi Posts: 889/0.42 Threads: 0 Friends Network Gold Member	that one was funny heehee
	___________________________________________ "And thats the son of a bitch that ran over my frog!"
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02-03-2003, 11:04 PM	#11
Big Rob The Biggest Rob Around Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Corpus Christi Posts: 1,883/0.88 Threads: 1 Friends Network	A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture. Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class. One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs." "Very good, William," said the teacher. "My mommy had a baby," said little Esther. "Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him. "I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?" " It'll teach those Indians not to fuck with the Lone Ranger."

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02-04-2003, 07:06 AM	#12
I yam Nutz Guest Posts: n/a/0 Threads: Friends Network	bwahahahahahahaaa!!!!!! roflmfao

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02-04-2003, 07:24 AM	#13
I yam Nutz Guest Posts: n/a/0 Threads: Friends Network	i know y'all have probably heard this one but it still makes me giggle so i'm gonna tell it anywho! Upon reaching his seat on the plane, a man is suprised to see a parrot strapped in the seat next to his.... As the plane takes off,the man asks the stewardess for a cup of coffee and the parrot squawks:And why don't you get me a whiskey, you bitch The stewardess, flustered by the parrots outburst, brings back the whiskey, but inadvertently forgets the mans coffee.... As the man politely points out the omission of his coffee, the bird downs his drink and then yells out:And get me another whiskey, you fucking whore! Unacustomed to such slackness, the man decides he's going to try the parrots approach... He calls the stewardess and says:I've asked you twice for a cup of coffee, you bitch, I expect you to get my coffee right now, or I'll slap the shit out of that ugly mug of yours! :hammer: Next thing you know, both the parrot and the man are wrenched up out of their seats and thrown out of the emergency exits by two burly stewards :mad: Plunging towards the ground the parrot turns to the man and says: For someone who can't fly, you're a cocky bastard!

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02-04-2003, 01:32 PM	#14
Big Rob The Biggest Rob Around Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Corpus Christi Posts: 1,883/0.88 Threads: 1 Friends Network	This guy walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Iowa." The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Iowa?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says, "I mount animals." The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"

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02-04-2003, 01:44 PM	#15
Big Rob The Biggest Rob Around Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Corpus Christi Posts: 1,883/0.88 Threads: 1 Friends Network	A small redneck Wild Animal Park had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very "in the mood", and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the park veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorillas of the species available. While reflecting on their problem, the park administrators noticed Ed, a part-time redneck intern, responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Ed, like most rednecks, had little sense, but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of ANY species. So, the park administrators thought they might have a solution. Ed was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for $500? Ed showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, Ed announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, you must never tell anyone about this." The park administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition. "Well," said Ed, "You gotta give me another week to come up with the $500."

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