schutzenkonig

click on one of our sponsors! OR REMOVE ADS

Today I got a call from my GF of just over 3 years and 4 months where she tells me she doesn't want to be with me anymore because the distance is too much (she goes to school in DC which is fairly close to my house) and doesn't want to be with me anymore. I'm not really having any problem with the distance down here, but just don't understand why she is having such a problem up there . GRR...I'm definantly angry with the "fairer" sex right now over this bullshit.

OrdinaryGirl

*huggggggggggggg*

Sorry you're going through this Schutzie.

wildcat066

Posts: n/a/0

Threads:

I dont blame you I'd be pissed to, just goes to show you how it doesnt matter how long you have been with someone you never really know what they will do.Its especially worse is you dont expect it and thought you were in a secure relationship . At least when 2 people fight alot and have a not so stable on n off thing its easier to take because you might expect something like this. I feel for ya man because I cant imagine what it would be like having someone shit on ya like this after over 3 years...Good Luck!

sillyrabbit

unfortunately it sounds like shes probably just tryin to be nice. youve been together so long that she cares about you and doesnt want to hurt your feelings. im guessing theres someone else, or at least someone else shes thinkin about. its kinda hard to think that the feelings just werent there anymore enough to drive a little ways after you were together so long.

i know thats not what you want to hear, but in the end its always the best thing to do. you would feel alot worse if she came to you one day and said she was cheating on you. believe me, with the exception of the last guy i dated, everyone ive ever gone out with has cheated on me....so i have a little experience in that area. it breaks your heart to be with someone that long and have em tell you something that sounds like a weak excuse, but it hurts alot more if they tell you theyve been seein someone else.

a relationship that long takes a long time to get over. at least now you can start getting over it, and not continue being led on. in the end youll know that you wouldnt wanna be with someone that doesnt feel the same about you anyway. im sure theres plenty of people here to talk to if you feel like it.....(there wouldve been a group hug smiley here but the database was havin problems)

wildcat066

Posts: n/a/0

Threads:

You honestly can not speculate this since you know very little about his relationship since his post did not go into details.

ninjer

Posts: n/a/0

Threads:

Yeah..dude I'm sorry to say, but she found another man.

schutzenkonig

It seems like it, so far I haven't actually cried (although it felt like I was for a little while, then OG cheered me up *kiss*), I've just been angry about the whole thing. Don't worry about sillyrabbit speculating on it wildcat as she's just trying to make sense of a situation that I don't understand. I don't have enough information to come to any conclusions, but it seems to me like she sees someone she wants to be with (but hasn't acted *hopes*), and the distance is getting painful as she said. I got a lot of my anger out in the weight room and pulled out a killer performance (for me) in curls. And now I'm just trying to go out and see who's out there (without starting another relationship).

vampiricstrange

wow man that really sucks take it from a guy who knows these things

kulotsalot

hey looks like it's the day for getting dumped... i'm also in a long distance relationship (like different countries so we never see each other) and my boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years and 10 months. anyway he's been sending me emails about how he's been going out with one of his students. now that's ok with me. before i left the country we made rules and decided that it's ok to go out with other people just as long as we know where our boundaries lie. no kissing, no sex... but if you DO break the rules at least be decent enough to own up to it and break up with each other before you start seeing someone else in a romantic way. i'm trying to do the "cool girlfriend" thing... you know, not getting jealous at the slightest things and letting him live his own life especially since we're so far apart.

so yeah, about this girl, he says that he's beginning to like her more than he likes me and that she told him she loves him etc... nothing's definite yet, he didn't say "it's over" or anything, but it does have that "ominous warning music" sound to it. kinda like the jaws theme, you know? this doesn't surprise me... we've been through this already. i used to go out with one of my co workers and we had lots of fun, which made me ask myself if i've had as much fun with my boyfriend. after a lot of fighting and soul-searching (do you guys know how hard it is to "talk things over" via email and chat?) i've come to the conclusion that my coworker is not really that exciting and fun to be with, it's just the thrill of getting to know someone new. so now it's my head on the chopping block, let's see what happens.

(sorry for that long-winded intro, just wanted to share)

just in case your girlfriend's only problem is the distance (not some other guy) then maybe she needs to be showered with more affection to reassure her that you actually care about her.

however, if there is another guy, i think you should be glad that she didn't date anyone while you guys are still "officially" together and then break up with you when she's secure that she has a replacement for you. honesty is one of the key things to have in a relationship, i think, and no matter how hard it is to accept the truth, i think it's best to know the truth and hurt rather than to continue believing in something that's not true and then wake up one day with that "wtf?!" look on your face.

ButterMup

Yes.
Yes, some of us do.

I'm sorry everyone's been having such trouble with long-distance relationships lately, especially seeing how long these all have lasted. Three years, four years...it's enough to make a guy seriously reconsider love's ability to overcome human nature's inherent capriciousness.

For what it's worth, schutz, I empathize. You get on my nerves sometimes (and take that in the most friendly way possible, if you would), but I hate to see anyone's heart get pulverized, just the same.
I'm godawful with sympathetic advice, or I'd throw some in for you, but everyone else seems to have taken care of that well enough already, so I'll not pave over their already-sufficient groundwork.
Suffice it to say that it's tough, brother, I know it is, but you seem to be handling it well.
Best of luck to you.

schutzenkonig

Thank you all, for the support you are giving me now. I'm sorry to hear about the similar problems people are having and wish you the best through those as you have given the same to me.

I get on your nerves ButterMup?

ButterMup

Ah, everybody does, but I wouldn't tease you about it if it were seriously a concern.
I'd just sneak up in all your threads, throw rotten tomatoes, and call you names.

You're an overall good guy, Schutz, and that counts for a lot.

schutzenkonig

Ok, as long as it's nothing big. you seem like a good guy yourself, about the only guy that struck me as a bad guy was nitro_D, and he's gone (thank you mods!).

Juster

Atleast she hopefully didn't cheat on you thats the worst feeling in the world its 10x a break up, just knowing that she was fooling around with another guy while still dating you.