mrsnifflez

click on one of our sponsors! OR REMOVE ADS

I recently got dumped by my girlfriend of 1 year and 9 months, and i can't bring myself to understand what happened. I love this girl with all i have and we had spoken about marriage after we graduated college. (this whole talk about marriage was kinda uncomfortable for me but she brought it up all the time, so i was ok with it after a while.) i have trust issues when it comes to women anyways and i let my guard down with her because i thought she was the one. i transferred schools for her because she felt that she needed me to be closer to her to help her with an eating disorder. Well when it came time to move back in to school, my first year at a new school, everything seemed as good as ever. She had to move in 11 days before me and in those 11 days, she changed into a completely different person. Before this time she wanted to be with me and see me and talk to me allllllll the time... this quickly changed to just the opposite. She claimed nothing was going on, and to this day still does, but she said she just fell out of love with me...In my eyes if you truly love someone like that, you can't just fall out of love with them. I am totally confused and i think about her constantly. Can anyone help me understand this?? I know that is a crazy question, and i know you all probably can't answer, but I am honestly crushed by this unexplainable change of events....

RacerX93

Sounds like she met someone else. That's pretty much the only explanation for such a quick turnaround like that.

Esco

Obviously she wasn't the "one". Who knows why she did the turnaround. What's important is that she did it now ... rather than later ... when you would could have had more time, energy, and money invested in the relationship.

Rather than spending all that energy trying to figure out what went wrong, try to channel that energy into something more constructive like trying to move on without her. I know it's hard to do ... but it's something you're gonna have to do eventually. Might as well start trying now.

mtaiken

It really sounds like she met someone else. But that doesn't really matter. It hurts but I agree with Esco. Better now than waste anymore of your time.

mrsnifflez

yea, it is a very hard thing to do, but i will continue to try. i appreciate your replies, i just needed to get things off my chest, and this seemed to be a good way. again thanx and i hope to post a lot more in the future.

nitro_D

Yep she most likely met someone else ,hell she isnt gonna tell you the truth they never do when this happens, I had an ex turn freaky on me once similar to the way you tell it, turns out she was fuckin this married guy then to make it even worse she went to the beach with the girls got fucked there by some fuckin beach bum with all the guilt inside they just act that way instead of telling the truth. I did find out on my own it was worth it .I am glad the bitch did what she did or I would have never met the woman i'm with now. She was probably never in love with you to begin with.Piss on her dude move on you will meet someone that wont dick with your mind and can talk to you ! Its hard now but it will get easy .

OrdinaryGirl

The fact that she had an eating disorder tells me right there that she has some problems with self esteem, which probably translates into how she deals with other people and relationships. She sounds like she was insecure and was clinging to you, needing you closer and relying on you instead of pulling herself together from the inside.

You sound like a rescuer, MrSnifflez. You are attracted to needy girls and in situations like that, love and dependency can so easily be confused. When confronted with the actual commitment, the level of emotion just wasn't there for her to be able to follow through. It's better for you to find out now than later.

After all the emotional intensity of supporting her through her crises, I'm sure you must feel empty and the urge to run to her aid the next time she calls will be overwhelming. The best thing for everyone involved will be for her to start standing on her own two feet. Keep yourself busy. Go meet new people. Indulge yourself in things that make you feel good.

Take care.

mrsnifflez

Ordinary, you mentioned that you thought i was attracted to needy girls or something. if that isn't what you meant sorry for confusing it, but the truth about her eating disorder did not come out until we had already been together for about 10 or 11 months. Before then i had no idea about it. Thanks a lot for your encouraging words about my situation, im sure time will heal all wounds as most of you have stated. i think i am done posting on this subject, like i said before i just wanted to get things off of my chest. Thanx to all that posted encouraging thoughts and advice. i appreciate it a bunch and hope to post with you on more fun topics rather than these depressing ones.

ToySoldier

Hey man getting dumped sucks especially after a long relationship, if I may add a little advice to move on with. Take a hobbly you really love sink a little extra money into it and concentrate on that for a while it will let you focus on something you love to do rather than the recent events.

m3m750

That sucks. I was in a similar situation a bit over a year ago, my fiance of 3 years dumped me for no apparent reason, then I found out she was fucking some guy from work. It sucked, and was hard to get past and move beyond, but now I've met a woman who I'm happier with and am enjoying life more than ever. Good luck.

B4DJUICE

i know 6 other couples including me that broke up recently...
this year is a bad year for realtionships.

CD

any updates to the situation mrsnifflez? curious to see if you confirmed the cheating or if you found someone else.

___________________________________________

mrsnifflez

well the situation is basically the same. im doing better with the situation as it is, however i spoke with her the other day, and she tells me that she thinks about me and "misses me so much." yet things still "aren't the same." im still confused by the whole ordeal, if she really does miss me and think about me all the time, why does she not wanna be with me?? anyways, i have had ppl watching and trying to find something out about another guy, and there is nothing. the people i have had checking up on her say that she is with no other guy, just her girlfriends. as for finding someone else, i don't want anyone else. at least right now...its one of those things where i feel in my heart she IS the one, and i can't see myself with anyone else, but if things continue to be like this, i guess i am wrong in my thinking. as for now that is the current situation. hopefully things will continue to get better, or maybe even get back together with her, however the relationship with her a second time will be very difficult, especially being able to trust her once again like i did.

i just want to say a quick thing about the people on this message board. im very glad i found it, all of you are quite helpful and i appreciate all of ur concerns about this issue that i am having. i hope i can help as much as you all have helped me with any situation that any of you have.....

Juan.©amaney

Doesn't sound like someone else to me. Sounds like you were her crutch to a new school, new people and new life. She got there before you did and saw that she really didn't need you there. She saw other guys, more possibilities, and the freedom to be her own woman without having to live byyou to feel protected.

Don't let her keep talking to you or coming back to you. As soon as she runs into trouble, she WILL come back to you for help. Do the same thing she did to you and just say, I'm sorry, I can't because I dont care. I fell "out of care" for you.

Reason # 89752039857324098 you dont marry your high school sweetheart, you don't have gf's in college or any time before you are 25, and thinking the first piece of ass you got was "the one."

___________________________________________