sillyrabbit

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Im still new here, so this has probably been posted before, but oh well... Im only bringin it up because of a post i made in another thread. I got out of a relationship a couple months ago with a "nice" guy. He treated me like i should be treated. Always nice to me, there for me whenever i needed him, and even when i didnt, hed suprise me at work or stop by my house when i wasnt expecting him. He did all the right things like opening doors for me, pulling out my chair, complimenting me, all of it. I only had sex with him a few times, and it was nothing special. That has nothing to do with why i dumped him, because i know that sometimes those "nice" guys take a little longer to find their niche, but believe me they sure know how to make up for it later. I swear the guy probably cared more about me than i did himself. So i broke up with him to go out with some dickhead. And of course i gave him some excuse not to hurt him that i knew he would believe because theyre so trusting. I didnt have a good reason to dump him, i was just kinda bored because he wasnt the most manly guy. Heres the questions...Why do we do this? And more so, why do we lie to someone that cares so much about us? And if we're bored, why dont we just talk to them about it? I cant think of one good reason for any of these questions, yet i know id do all of them tomorrow. Some of these guys would go to the end of the earth for us and back, and yet we just leave them, and even worse lie to them when we do it. I feel so bad for the nice guys out there that are treated this way all the time

OrdinaryGirl

I'm going to guess and say that it has a lot to do with your age. Other than that, I don't know why you did that. Not to be rude, but please don't lump all of us girls in there with you. I hold the nice guys in very high esteem. They are hard to find and worth their weight in gold.

nitro_D

Perhaps maybe you are a self centered selfish bitch that cares only about your fucking needs? or could it be as in the way it sounded in the other subject you posted a bad experience when he fucked you?Dont try to bullshit us here dear !

sillyrabbit

youre probably right about the age thing...what i meant by "we", was the girls that do the same thing

and sorry, i didnt mean to offend anyone......oh and nitro, i know im a bitch for doing it, thats kinda the point of the thread, to find out if anyone knows a reason why....but i definitely needed to hear it from you, i didnt feel low enough already, thanks so much

sillyrabbit

actually nice guys have usually been better lovers, so no.....

the way it sounded to you was way off...you missed the whole point of the other subject i posted...it was just a question, ive heard girls say theyve done it before and was wondering why? personally i never have, and dont think i ever would either.

Stumpy

Now that I got that outta the way .... The reason girls dump nice guys who treat them well is because they don't think they deserve them, plain and simple. Look for answers within, not from the outside.

And like OG said, your age has a lot to do with it. I notice it at work, younger girls like to play games to feel in control, and think if they can change a dickhead that they are more powerful or more fulfilled or some other bullshit.

Basically, it comes down to being with someone whom you respect, who respects you, getting freaky all night, and otherwise treating others the way you would be treated. (I read that last part in a besteseller somewhere ...)

Frarinalga

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Quoted for emphasis. You're the kind of bitch that most guys try fully to avoid. Nothing is ever good enough for you. Fuck you.

CD

Enough examples of this and even the nicest guy will become jaded and start to become an asshole. I've tried to hold off myself since I don't have a mean bone in my body, but when I see a lot of my "asshole" friends with girls all over them it kind of gets me thinking. I don't know why girls always seem to go for the asshole... and I don't think Stumpy's answer explains it all. There has to be something else to explain it more fully.

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Indigenous

I find the most common reasons for this to be these:

1. Shallowness - Wanting to go out with a guy who is much hotter than your current man. I'm not singling out women on this one, god knows there have been plenty of guys who have ditched a great girl in order to hook up with some skank.

2. Self-respect. Women are constantly bombarded with the message that they are little more than pretty things to be looked at and used. This message comes from everywhere, TV, magazines, stores, billboards, men and a million other sources. Women are told time and time again that their outward appearance is vastly more important than anything else.

Therefore, when a man aknowledges the fact they are indeed a person with hopes, dreams, fears, likes and dislikes, some women, whether on a conscious or unconscious level, don't know how to react and begin looking for familiar territory where they can go back to just being objects.

RacerX93

Speaking as a nice guy, I can tell you exactly why you did what you did. The guy kissed your ass. And as Ferris Bueller said, "You can't respect someone who kisses your ass."

It's really just that simple.

sillyrabbit

thanks racer, thats actually the first really good reason ive heard

CD

The assholes (aka "Players") know how to push a girls buttons better.

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La_LovelyLady

I don't like to seperate the guys from the girls in this instance....I don't know that I believe age has everything to do with any situation. We are individuals no matter what our age. I never "played" even when I was young...and have seen as many women my age do wrong to men as when I was younger. I've seen grown men still too concerned with the way their woman looked rather than the way she treats him and I've seen way too many women concerned with the same as well as the status of the man they choose. It's not an age thing...it's a personal thing. Just because a guy treats you well...simply doesn't make them perfect for you or even good for you. Obviously it wasn't a good relationship plain and simple. It's not just the good guys that are left behind...it's also the good girls... We all learn by our mistakes... sometimes it's not easy to say exactly what you want...but surely the other person would hurt less if we would simply let them know how we felt...rather than coming up with piss poor excuses...

tonight

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Just because someone is the nicest person in the world doesnt mean that he/she is meant for you. Nice does not necassarily equal love although I like to believe its a part of the equation..

Usually I prefer my girlfriends to be nice but its usually whatever rocks my boat. I've dated several girls that would be considered mean bitches but I liked them none the less. They weren't mean to me and thats what counts.

I think everyone has passed up the nice girl for the one that would rip your guts out atleast onces.

PS. I think I heard somewhere it has something to do with the relationship between you and your father figure or mother figure in your life. If someone has also heard this theory and recollects it well enough to state it without shame please do so. =]