LOCOprobe

click on one of our sponsors! OR REMOVE ADS

close to 3 years ago I meet this girl, and we start hanging out alot, we start dateing, and maybe 3-4 months later I finally ask her out.
we were together for over 2 years, in these years we both screwed up a few times, she cheated on me once, didnt have sex with the guy, but kissed him and spent the night with him and so on. and I had sex with a girl one night at a party, i was drunk, and told her the next day cuz I felt soo bad.
Anyway even through the bad times, we had a great relationship, everynight at work she would bring me food, and leave little notes on my car. I would get home and she would leave me little e-mails and such showing me how much she loved me.
I did these little things also, would send flowers to her house, check up on her when she was sick and bring her what ever she wanted, did everything she wanted.
after maybe a year and a half, for x-mas I got her a stuffed dog and around its neck I had tied a diamond ring she had always wanted. when she seen it she just started crying, that ring ment soo much to her, anyway back to the story haha.
maybe 3 months ago her parents got in the middle of us (they are crazy) so we were having problems with that. Well on the 4th of july she came with me and we sat with my arms around her and watched the fireworks, and we have sex later that night (last time for that)
everything still seemed good after that, we had out problems cuz of her parents which I could see were getting to her and such, but I was still trying my hardest to keep us together.
BTW i guess I should say she was my first real true love, and I was her first sex partner and first love.
so anyway about 3 weeks later I leave for vacation with friends, finally time for me to get away from the troubles back home. so I get a phone call from her, think nothing of it because, well it was her lol. she tells me that my life is about to get worse, I was like why, she says I am pregnent, i was like ol shit, then she says "its not yours" It felt like the world came to an end right then and there, didnt know what to say, I just hang up the phone.
So the girl I spent about 3 years with gets pregnant with someone elses kid. she also ha the nerve to say "at least its not yours" wtf u just dont say that to a guy.
When i got the call, i just started drinking and drinking till I was gone. well being drunk on vacation is fine, but when I got back home, I have just been drinking non stop every night bymyself for the last few months. its gotten to the point where even my close friends tell me I have a problem.
I have put them through alot with my drinking and all my problems (which theres soo many more then just the girl) that I have run alot of my friends away, they gave up on trying to help.

what do I do?? you guys are my last hope :(

Tudds

hrmmm first response... I better make this good
First of all,
Be grateful it isn't yours...
What you had might have been great but you weren't meant to be together or you would. People cheat for a reason. If that was your kid you would be bound to her for the rest of your life. You don't want that. At least now you are free to move on. If she got knocked up shes a skank simply put. Go out, have some fun, forget the hoe.

LOCOprobe

Yeah people have told me, just be glad its not mine, and I really am. If I was gonna have a kid, I want it with someone that I could spend the rest of my life with.

Just hard to give up 2 years, and have a slap in the face like that

Tudds

Be strong man

squish

Be patient, it's gonna get better for you. You are at the bottom right now, or at least feel like it. The question you have to ask yourself is: "how much longer do I want to feel like this?"
I think you realize already(from what you've written ) that you know that you've got problems, and your drinking too much. I suggest you slow down on the drinking -it hasn't helped yet, it only made things worse. I also suggest you get some counseling, find someone to talk about what's going on and believe it or not, it's good to get soemone elses' perspective on things when you may be clouded with emotion. Almost every community has a counseling service that will charge based on how much or little you make, so that everyone can afford counseling.

I'd like to also point out that as much as she meant to you, this was not a healthy relationship you both had. Both of you wouldn't have cheated on each other if you two loved each other as much as you think you did. What you need is help from a professional and some plain, old time and distance away from her in order to get past this -which you will get past this.
One day you'll look back and understand what happened and be thankful that circumstances gave you a way out from this unhealthy relationship.

-But this is purely just my opinion, I'm not a professional counselor (I hope this helps in some way)

Juan.©amaney

LOCOprobe, first off, sorry this had to happen to you.

1. Drinking is only a temporary solution, eventually, you will have to deal with the pain sober.
2. If she cheated on you once, its always easier the next time.
3. The only reason she didnt cheat on you earlier having sex with the other guy is because she was still a virgin or you had been her first and it eant something to her. After you all slept together, its pretty easy for a girl to sleep with another guy.
4. If you gave up 3 years of your life for some girl who did you wrong, you lost the battle, but dont lose the lesson. Net girl that comes along, you'll know better not to cheat on, and if she cheats on you, its easier to know you better let go, than to fool yourself.

Cowboy up!

___________________________________________

LOCOprobe

thanks alot for the help guys. I know what your saying, and your right.

OrdinaryGirl

I couldn't have said it better myself.

killerrobot

Ah yes, witches or wenches? Are there truly women out there who don't suck the life out you? Well, well, looks like you gotten yourself into heartbreak hotel my friend. Room 13 penthouse in the basement from the looks of it. Do you want some advice? I mean dude, the first thing you need to do is take care of yourself. Instead of thinking about those bruises she gave you on the ol' thumper, think about the bruises your giving yourself right now! Man, I know it stings like a hornets nest after a night of southern comfort but, dude wake up! There is more tuna in the sea. Sex is a very primal thing and thats where it gets you. She obviously does not have your best intrests at heart. Once your realize that- it maybe easier to let go. She is not your friend. Advice tip 2: go get laid, give up booze, find another hobbie, take some prozac.
Peace out........

3nigm4tic

healing starts at home.
What you shouldn't do is start laying blame. Don't try to get better by getting mad at her, or feel better than "that skank ho". While any of that might be true, in the long run its not about just "being better than a bitch" you have to just *move on* entirely.

When you get up in the morning just think "I'm in control of MY life, the past can't control me" and go on with your day: the more you dwell on the pain the more it burns you.

It's sad but it's the only way.
--Been broken by love too-- {not quite as bad but I feel your pain bro}

LOCOprobe

wow, all the good advice, glad I came to this forum lol.

but you guys are right, and there are better ones out there (just not where I live haha) so time for to start haveing fun yet again. BTW I havent been drunk by myself in days woohoo lol

mnbulldog

Posts: n/a/0

Threads:

I was in a situation that was close to yours. Girl didn't get pregnant, but we were together a long time and she cheated, then I drank. There isn't much advise I could give that would be much better than what was put in here. It may not help to hear it, but honestly, only time makes the pain go away.
One thing I was told to do was go visit the places I wouldn't go because they were "our" places. That helped me realize something. They weren't special places. They were normal places that I made special. It helped me realize that only I was going to change my behavior.
Whatever you do, just take your time and make the decisions that are healthy. Before you know it, you'll be helping someone else out of a bad place.

LOCOprobe

man I never wanted to go to any of the places that were "our" places, maybe I shoudl try it out. I just think it will bring back sooo many good memorys and get me upset again.

I was just helping someone else that was haveing problems today too lol

RandyOne

Get off the sauce, Cut the Bitch loose. Go do things that you like with friends, go to concerts, church, visit family, read a book or two.
Once you become your normal nice self again, all the beautiful women will flock to you.

When we are happy with ourslves, others see us as likeable and want to get to know us. HaNG IN THERE AND GET PROFESSIONAL HELP BEFORE YOUR FRIENDS DO AN INTERVENTION.

GOOD LUCK