subucni

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That girl I was dating, who many of you have heard me rant about, I have hurt more than anyone else in my entire life. One of my many flaws is that i let bad feelings and emotions build up inside of me, I don't know why, but i just don't express them. Unfortunately, a few times in my life, this has led to me just exploding or breaking down. Recently all the bad times i went through with her, sparked by i guess hooking up with another girl, after breaking up with the previous one, burst out of me like water out of a geyser. I sent her some very spiteful text messages.

I basically said that i felt like the past few months had been a mistake and that the other girl was alot better than her (suggesting sexually).

This is the worst thing I have ever done to anyone in my life, and it is not the person that I am. I ruined 3 years of amazing friendship and my first real relationship in 10 minutes of uncontrolled anger and frustration. No matter how bad I felt from things she did, it never compared to what I did to her a couple weeks ago with this. I shared more with this girl than I ever will with anyone else in my entire life, save for marraige and a family probably. It kills me knowing this is all my fault, and that even though I had just broken up with her, she was for quite some time my best friend in the entire world, and the person who made me feel better at times than anyone else ever has.

I've been talking to her online now for about 2 hours about all this, and right now, as i finished explaining to her how things went wrong in my mind, and how i felt things had changed, "Everybody Hurts" by REM came on. Talk about timing. I'm so sad right now, and I don't know what to do.

roachdude

duuuuuuuude everything is gonna be ok. At least she heard you out about what went on... even if it was online. That shows that she is willing to hear about what happened and why you feel the way you do. Nothing is going to be peachy over night, but if this relationship was as strong as you say, everything will be just fine! *hugs and kisses*

Insaniteus

I'm sure things'll get better for you. At least she's listening to ya, which is a huge step and something alot of people don't get.

-Insaniteus-

Stumpy

It takes way more than some mean text messages to sabotage a relationship. It usually takes at least some drunken 3 a.m. phone calls/sudden appearances or causing a scene at the other person's place of business/school/mother's house before they will completely cut you off/deny ever knowing you/sleep with your best friend.

Not that any of that has ever happened to me, of course ...

AmorMiHombre

^^^ Haha, like he said.

But the sexual comments were below the belt, especially since you were each other's firsts and she's probably not the most confident yet in her sexual life/abilities...

Anyway, it's been stated that at least she's hearing you out, although if things weren't that great between the two of you, maybe some time off from the "relationship" (of any kind) is a good thing?

I dunno...hopefully things go well for you. ;-)

La_LovelyLady

Wish I had some helpful words Subucni...you're a great guy...and we're all allowed to have bad moments. It's so hard to not speak your mind when you're angry or upset...and regret is a painful thing for anyone. Talk to her, yet listen closely at what she has to say as well. She is hurt, but as the others have said...she's listening to you. You can only apologize so many times...when she realizes the sincerity in that apology and sees how much she means to you (even after the painful words)...perhaps you two can really work this out. If your friendship was as strong as you say...you'll move past this...and find a comfort ground again. *hugs* Wish there was more that I could do or say...you're a great guy...remember that. And it truly wasn't your intention to hurt her...we all say things that we wish we wouldn't have later...again...communication...keep that line going...and you'll be fine. *smiles*

subucni

Thank you... and for everyone's comments

Juana!

while what you did was wrong in your eyes and heart.... what you did after (today) also speaks a lot of yourself... a real man that takes responsibilty for his actions and knows that when he feels wrong tries to ammend his mistakes...

i know i sound as a mom... but I would be very proud of you for your last action... i would send you hugs and kisses... but roachie beat me on that one...

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