La_LovelyLady

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How important is having children to you? I have met so many women lately that say they can't even imagine having a child. Way too much responsibility and they aren't willing to sacrafice certain things in their lives in order to have a family. I'm not saying it's wrong...not in the least...I just wonder how many women actually don't want to have children and what the reason behind it is? (Men too on this...some men aren't interested in having children either) :wiggle:

Insaniteus

I want to raise a child quite badly, although recently I've doubted having one of my OWN. I've learned that many of my mental problems are genetic and would be passed down.... Either way, I can't imagine my life without raising children.

-Insaniteus-

kentares

At this point in my life I am not interested in having children. Perhaps in the future when I am ready but not now.

Superhuman

Me too. I'm sure I want to have kids in the future though and if I can't have them myself I'll adopt them.

As for reasons why:

- I fail to understand why people wouldn't want to have kids. IMO that's being a selfish ass. I more or less feel obligated to pass on the pleasure of life that my parents have given me. Life deserves appreciation and should be passed on to somebody because of the great thing it can be.
- I wonder what a person would be like who is me for 50% and it also seems a pretty cool thing to me; to know a person who is that.
- I'm also curious about how somebody would be like if he/she gets raised by me and how they develope their own personality under my influence. I'm one of those who believes that parents have quite a big impact on what a person will become. In fact, I think their impact is at least as big as friends and evironment etc. Just look at criminals.
- People often say that there's no love bigger than the love for your children. If that's true I'm not gonna sit down and miss out on that.
- I like kids. Gotta love that unknowning, loving and not toughened by the world walking around little creatures. Even though they can be highly annoying at times, in general I find them pretty cool.

So yeah, I'm sure I'll have children someday .

subucni

I definitely want to have kids, but I can also wait... and plan to for quite a while. At 19 I'll do whatever it takes to not have a kid, while still getting to have fun.

I have never thought about not having a child. I bet there is nothing in my life that will make me happier than having my first kid.

clamsrus

I have children......12f and 13m...... 11yrs to conceive number one, and being from a big family where I as eldest male assuming father role at 11y/o, always considered I'd done my bit.....but I've got to say that nothing unlocks your heart more than a child, and your own child has a key to fit every door. It's a two way thing.....they keep you learning about the processes of being human (Oh and did I say broke as well!!) I reckoned we had a pretty good relationship prior to children....had our act together so to speak.......but it has changed and expanded. They knock the rough edges off, expand your tolerance, force you to become expert in subjects you tried to forget first time around, and the thought of losing them hurts so much that you would lay down your life for them......I guess I've learnt more about myself from having my own than all the years spent treating kiddies or adults.

Patito

I want to have 2-3 kids once I get married after a few years so myself and my wife can enjoy the time together alone for awhile. I love kids, and can't wait to have some of my own in the future. I can understand how some people really don't like them, and wouldn't want to have them. I don't think that's unselfish at all. Infact, if you don't think you would be a good parent or wouldn't want to be one then DON'T HAVE KIDS. Passing down life isn't an obligation, there's enough people already having kids. If everyone had kids the Earth wouldn't be able to able to sustain them all. Plus, the parent wouldn't give the kid the love it needs.

AmorMiHombre

I always kinda assumed i'd have kids since i'm a woman and i'd get married and all that schtuff....

But, um, i guess 2 kids would be cool a few years into marriage after my husband and i had time to enjoy just ourselves and travel and all that fun stuff....

Besides, all my friends have kids i can take care of and teach and enjoy so i don't feel a big stress to pop out my own...especially anytime soon....And when i do have slight yearnings i just have my friends' babies.

And not wanting or having kids is NOT selfish..having kids you cannot afford to take care of financially, emotionally or physically is SELFISH! To hear someone say they want a kid cause they are bored or want something to take care of or play with, et cetera, buy a friggin puppy! There are enough problems with overpopulation and unwanted/uncared for children.

bpboyz

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My child has changed my life, for the better. I have matured and totally look at life differently now. I am not saying this is the only way to mature, just, if you have the ability to care for one, Nothing will ever make you happier than just seeing them smile.

zzyzzgy

my initial reaction to this was "fuck you".
my decision to not have kids is based on numerous reasons. most notably for genetic reasons, but there are other reasons as well. has absolutly nothing to do with being selfish.
those of us that have made a conscious decision to not have children for whatever reason deserve better than to be called selfish. i only hope that if/when you have children you teach them more tolerance than what you've displayed.

nikkipornoface

It is very important for me to have children. Right now, I have 4 wonderful nieces. I love watching them grow up and want some children of my own so that I can nurture them and love them. To watch that progression is something that I really can't wait to enjoy

clamsrus

Agree entirely....with you and AMH......better no kids, than unloved with useless parents.........people don't realise that 1 in 6 couples are sterile and would never conceive naturally even if they wanted desparately to do so. And the world is being outbred by the majority who make no conscious choice

AmorMiHombre

That was my initial reaction as well and Roach heard all about it, but i just chalked it up to a language barrier (as English is not his first language)...I figured he didn't mean it as we are taking it since even though he knows a gazillion and a half languages and his English is perfect it still can happen.

But i still stand by the fact that it isn't selfish and even if your reason is because you ARE too self-absorbed/involved/selfish than at least you know it and that doesn't make you horrible for NOT wanting to sacrifice your own life to breed and raise another.

As it stands i still have no set plan to ever have kids and if it happens great, if not, ok....kinda like marriage.

sonrisa10201

i really want to have kids one day, i come from a bigger family, and i love it! i couldnt imagine it any other way, i want to have at least 3 kids, but i am not setting a number or anything, i just want my kids to experience having a lot of siblings. but if i never get married then i will most definitly adopt children. i wish i was old enough, and set financially right now so i could have kids, i want to be a mommy soo bad, but i know that i should wait till i can properly care for them.... *sigh*... someday...