subucni

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I've been wondering this for a while now...

I, by no means, am chiseled from stone. I'm 6', about 220-230. Yes, I'm a fairly strong guy, but alot of that weight is not muscle. However I'm not the bumbling, lazy, stereotypical guy that I could be. I have always been involved in sports, I play hockey, and if I'm able to do well caving, I'm obviously not, forgive the pun, weighed down by my size.

The two girls that I've dated in high school/into college are both, in my opinion, very attractive girls. One is naturally a small girl, like 5'3ish with a great body, and the other is like 5'6 and she ran cross country and played tennis in high school. So physically, they are both very fit and attractive in that way. Of course I liked them for other reasons too. I have had friends and such comment that they are both pretty also (in the post your pic thread someone commented one of them looked like cameron diaz). I think Amor has seen pics of both of them.

I like to think I have a good personality. I consider myself to be very friendly, open, and especially humorous. It's hard for me to go long periods of time without cracking a joke or just being the funny, sarcastic, witty person that people say I am. Just yesterday I was told by a girl at my work that her friend who also works there told her she thought I was cute. She said the other girl really liked my eyes/smile, and just the way I acted while we are working.

So how big of a factor does a guy's body or looks play in your being attracted to them? Does it mainly just have an effect when you first meet someone or don't know them well? When you do get to know them, if you fall for their personality, is it kind of like love is blind? I've wondered about this for a while, because since I rely more on my personality and all that when it comes to meeting people, I'm initially somewhat shy and wonder what peoples initial impression of me is. Ok, I'm rambling, i think you get the picture.

La_LovelyLady

My opinion is very simple actually....it's not so much on what someone looks like...but personality and attitude are both VERY important. I want someone to respect me as a lady, I want someone to make me laugh...and I want someone who can be a man yet be gentle without being ashamed of showing his softer side. I'm attracted to a man that respects himself as well...works hard but still has fun. I could never really be with a lazy type of man. NOW...as far as the physical part of this...to me it's just unexplainable...I don't believe anyone can truly explain attraction. What one person finds attractive may not be what the next does. I have no set ideas on what I should find attractive...that simply just happens. I see him...and I'm either attracted or I'm not. So if his body type isn't perfect...who cares...neither is mine. We all have imperfections...and someone out there will overlook any and all of them and find us attractive for who we are. *smiles*

Insaniteus

I wish I could meet more girls who didn't care, I've been rejected based on my looks alone a few times in the past....

-Insaniteus-

OrdinaryGirl

Hmmm. Complicated issue. Personality definitely comes first. Someone can be the epitome of godliness but if they are an asshole, I couldn't care less. If someone is nice, sweet, smart, considerate and we CLICK, then physical appearance takes a low priority. Haven't you ever had a relationship or friendship with someone, and the more you get to know and like them, the more attractive they were to you?? That is what it is like for me.

Now, in terms of physical attraction alone, there are certain things that turn my head and make me go OOOOOOOOOOH!!!! Yummy!!, but I am very, very aware that someone's looks, body type, etc is simply a result of genes and really they have no control over, they just happened to fluke out and look like that. But personality is the result of hard work, discipline and other things that they actually CAN control and speaks so much better for them!!

Now, give me a man that I totally connect with AND whose looks make my stomach flip, and I think I could reconsider my harsh stance on love.

Andytsi95

Im kind of in the same boat as you Subcuni. I weigh about 205 give and take what day it is. I still see myself as slightly bigger and I do alot of sports like yourself. I think the world just needs big guys and I'm proud to be one. I honestly think If I wanted to get down to whatever I wanted, (goal of 190) that I could.

But then I think why should I if the girl i have with me likes me just the way I am. Im not trying to impress anyone. I honestly don't know why she went for me when she could have anyone in this city. But It must have been soemthing about me. Who knows. Love is wierd

sonrisa10201

when you first meet someone i think attraction is a big factor, just becasue at that point you have nothing else to go on. you dont know this person, or anything about their personality, but beyond that, when you are getting to know them, its all about who they are, not what they look like.

Calafia

So how big of a factor does a guy's body or looks play in your being attracted to them?
depends. Long term attractionwise, it means nothing. But if somebody's chatting me up in a bar and I want to flirt, I often pick the chiseled ones. Because I'm not going home or starting anything with them and I might as well listen to them spout their pick-up routine instead of hurting a nice boy's feelings by talking to him all night and then refusing future contact. Also, the nicer boys press you more to let them buy you a drink and I don't like it when men buy me drinks unless I'm already dating them.

Does it mainly just have an effect when you first meet someone or don't know them well?
totally
When you do get to know them, if you fall for their personality, is it kind of like love is blind?
oh HELL yeah. I fell for this brilliant, brilliant boy that I'm still getting over. I adored his mind. But when I met him he looked like shit. He buffed up fast and now the bitches can't keep off him, but at the time, I loved him for his mind and the pretty came later. I wasn't ever sure how to handle that.
I completely go head over heels for the smart boys, he was the only one who could handle me mentally without me walking all over him and talking circles around him. I actually had my ass handed to me a few times and I loved it.
There's a total alpha male aspect to it, too. He was very much an alpha male and I had to work to have my own way.

OrdinaryGirl

I'm totally with Cal on the brilliant mind thing. If you can mentally spar with me and actually back me into a corner, then you have my respect and it's so incredibly sexy.

Stumpy

Sub, I gotta tell ya - it ain't easy just being eye-candy either. The girls think your all muscle and no brain, and basically just use you like a piece of meat. They never wanna cuddle or return phone calls ...

Anyone looking for physical perfection in another human being is a shallow piece of shit anyway. What's way more important is what's in their wallet :happycow:

Okay, seriously man, any girl that would turn you down for your looks probably wouldn't dig you anyway. You talk about being a fun-loving guy, and brother fun ain't always pretty. In fact it can be downright muddy, grubby and dimly lit - like a cave perhaps ... Plus, in the serious posts I've read of yours, you seem to be a sensitive kinda guy - not in a whiny kinda way, but in a poetic kinda way. That wins out over looks anyday. The prettiest girl I ever dated was so shallow she was nearly a mannequin, and the sweetest girl I dated was far from perfect. Like a jackass, I broke up with her over a little white lie (sexual past) because at the time I was insecure about my own lack of experience.

So anyway, not to jack the thread, but if all a girl is into are your looks, it ain't meant to be anyway.

La_LovelyLady

Exactly Stumpy... but there are so many that are just wanting something pretty on their arms for others to see. They don't even care if it makes them or the other person unhappy. And so many are simply out looking for someone to truly care about them that they fail to see the disaster that lies before them. It's a pure waste of time to be with someone who isn't anything more than a pretty face and nice body...

vixy022685

The longer I'm with my boyfriend (8 months) the cuter I think he is. He was my bestfriend first, but I knew I liked him from when I first met him.. just ended up screwing around with another guy first. He's got love handles and is the same body type as you, a bit taller and something like 220-230, now he's 210, but I haven't seen him in 1 1/2 months so no clue how he looks now. I'm seeing him tomorrow

Personally I love a guy who's taller than me and a little bulky because I know I have lots to grab onto.. I'm 5'7" so I'm not super short, but it's nice having someone I have to look up at. I almost compromised with someone really, really unattractive (to me) because personality wise we were awesome, but he broke up with me after we had sex, stupid boys. But that's a story for another thread, in short.. I have to like the face I'm looking at.. and erm, we have to be able to have sex without complications (fat wise) but otherwise, meh.

Insaniteus

That's my main problem. I'm 5'7" so for a guy I AM super short . Most girls hate short, small guys so I usually don't get a second look from girls I try to meet.

-Insaniteus-

La_LovelyLady

You just haven't ran into the right one yet *smiles* it'll happen... :wiggle:

Superhuman

as for the phsysical attraction to woman; I completely agree [kissing ass mode ON] I have yet to see a girl who posts here that didn't came through that selection though [kissing ass mode OFF]