WR - When I was a kid

01-30-2003, 12:30 PM

robul

nobody

Join Date: Jan 2003

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When I was a kid

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When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
lectures about how hard things were when they were growing up. What with
walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill both ways through
year 'round blizzards carrying their younger siblings on their backs to
their one-room schoolhouse where they maintained a straight-A average
despite their full-time after-school job at the local textile mill where
they worked for 35 cents an hour just to help keep their family from
starving to death!

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up there was no way in
hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I
had it and how easy they've got it! But.... Now that I've reached the ripe
old age of twenty-four, I can't help but look around and notice the youth
of today.
You've got it so easy !!

I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia! And I hate to say
it but you kids today don't know how good you've got it! I mean, when I was
a kid we didn't have The Internet-when we wanted to know something, we had
to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves!

And there was no email. We had to actually write somebody a letter-with
a pen!--and then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it
in the mailbox and it would take like three days to get there!

And there were no MP3s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to
go to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or we had to wait
around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the
beginning and mess it all up!

You want to hear about hardship?

You couldn't just download porn! You had to bribe some homeless dude to buy
you a copy of "Hustler" at the 7-11! It was either that or jackoff to the
lingerie section of the JC Penney catalog! Those were your options!

We didn't have fancy shit like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and
somebody else called they got a busy signal! And we didn't have fancy
Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was it
could be your boss, your mom, a collections agent, your drug dealer, you
didn't know!!! You just had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

And we didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation videogames with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like
"Space Invaders" and "Asteroids" and the graphics sucked ass! Your guy was a little square! You had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win, the game just kept getting harder and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating!
All the seats were the same height! A tall guy sat in front of you, you were screwed!
And sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 20 channels and there was no onscreen menu! You had to use a little book
called a TV Guide to find out what was on! And there was no Cartoon Network! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning... ...D'ya hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK, you spoiled little bastards!
That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy!
You're spoiled, I swear to God! You guys wouldn't last five minutes back
in 1984!

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