Juan.©amaney

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Now typically speaking, I'm the first sumbitch to call snake oil. So a few weeks ago, I was out with a friend of mine and he had a box of the stuff with him. I asked him about him going off TDY to Afghanistan (works for the USACE) and he tells me that he wasn't able to deploy because he needed to lower something or other in his system because he had prostate cancer I asked him if he was getting radiation or whatever and he said he was drinking that mona vie stuff. I thought it was wine, to be honest.

He goes full on informercial right. Tells me how they sell, that the Celtics are all taking it, how much $$$ they have made, the 19 fruits and berries and stuff that's in it, what it does etc. and I'm like, this has to be another Noni or Herbalife type deal. So he looks me straight in the eye and tells me that his cancer levels are lower than what they used to be and that he is deploying soon.

So I call BS and he tells me he'll give me a bottle of the stuff free...retails over $60.00 and stuff. I take his word for it and take the bottle.

I'm a relatively healthy guy, but lately, I let myself go a little. I'm pretty overweight and sluggish and although I do hit the gym 2-3 times a day and play softball and have an active sex life, I still smoke and drink waaaay too much and it was taking more and more coffee to get me going plus my ankles had been killing me; even before the incident this weekend.

Anyway, I try it...and damn. My joints stopped hurting, lower back pain is gone, my eye sight is way better (I can red stuff without my glasses now), and the most interesting of all....I get waaaaay more hardons than I remember getting and recovery time is up big time (even with the lazy heavy chicks who don't move around enough to keep me interesting in fucking them ) I'm now back to whoring it up at nights and then waking up and going to work without that drag.

So I was on board. Only thing is, like I said, it's pretty pricey. So what I did is, I became a retailer I'm not doing it for the $$$ tho, I'm just doing it to get free bottles!


Anyone else?

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fmb

Free product? Works well? But NOT in it for the money? Come on, juan! This is America. It's always about the money. The free product and fast women are part of the American Experience.

Really though. Your ankles don't hurt?

BackdoorJesus

Retailing? do we need to ban you for spamming?

Besides I'm still bummed we never got to hook up on the mota vie ...don't know nothing about no mona vie.

Clumsy fucker getting all injured and shit, leaving his stoner pal non-high and dry...

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Lucky13

Never even heard of it, sounds kinda like something Gambit from X-men would say right after he throws a kinetic card at you. "Here's a charge mona vie!"

jShizz

I've had this before, it's prolly similar



My boss gave it to me when I had the eye of death...it's supposed to lower your inflammation levels.

Juan.©amaney

First, if I was i it for the $$$ I wouldn't post here about it without running it through Eddie first. You know I don't whore....you ugys have no idea about all of the shit I do on the side that I can hook you up with. Most of it is legal too.

Second, my ankles didnt hurt before and now only the sprained one, and at my 28 years of age, I was expecting to heal a lot slower, but damnit if I'm not recovering pretty quick.

Third, BDJ, you have no idea how bad I wanted to make it, and as a matter of fact, I went shopping and actually had your shit ready to go. It's sitting here in my room as we speak and no, I'm not going to finish it or even start on it until we meet again (soon). I was out of the ER too late and I did end up going out that night, pimp cane and all.

Fourth, the field we were playing at sucked ASS. Home was nothing but dust so you couldn't get a good grip on your stance, there were gopher holes EVERYWHERE, and the reason I fucked my ankle up wasn't my fault, the people that set up the bases did it wrong and there was actually a small mound right as you approached 3rd. Someone during the first game even said someone was going to get hurt if we didn't flatten it....well summbitch guess who it was?

Fifth, I mentioned it because as I was selling the stuff, a lot of people knew about it. Maybe because it is Anaheim based?

Finally, Jen, it's something like that. This thing has acai, apricot, aronia, acerola, purple grape, passion, camu camu, banana, lychee fruit, nashi pear, kiwi, pme, prune, wolfberry, pear, bilberry, cran, blueberry and white grape....it is ESPECIALLY good after a niiiiiiice long toke of the good fire kush or something similar.

Again, I've been looking a lot at my diet...eating junk, too much meat, etc. and since I've kinda been dating this vegan chick on the side (no joke, she does suck dick lol) she's been getting me to eat more and more herbs and junk. I still renege on the tofu though, fuck that.

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Juan.©amaney

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fmb

juan: it seems to be packaged as an alcoholic beverage. I'm down with that.

I heard a different story about the ankle; from my source, there was no mound, hill, or other obstruction. You tried to slide into third, came up short, and was tagged out by a T Ball kid. SUDDENLY, your ankle was hurt and you were hurling foul language about small, burrowing creatures.

Another story has you twisting your ankle after falling for some guys "dropped soap" trick in the locker shower room.

On a serious note, if I ever decide to burn some leafy, green substances, I'm coming out to SoCal!

Juan.©amaney

lol no such thing as a stingy stoner dude, you'r emore than welcome.

I was sliding into third, and my spike got caught on the mound and buckled under me. Think of it as laying down on your left side. Then as you reach with your right leg to get at the bag, the left leg gets caught on that stupid little mound. All 250 lbs of me has momentum and as the smallest joint in my leg stops, my big ass keeps going....not fun man. Should have slid face first, but again, most of the infield was just dust.

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i'm rich biatch

Yeah I've heard of that....I think my marketing professor was trying to get me to be a seller for that stuff. It's got the acai berry and crap. I was thinking just like you.....must be another noni or some shit. Now I need to check it out.....just cuz you'd be the poster child to yell BS.

Juan.©amaney

go ahead and buy a bottle if you can find a rep. they don't sell this stuff retail apparently. I would yell BS so fast...you guys know me, I'm pretty blunt and candor is my middle name. I got my mom on the stuff...she said her hot flashes are way down....I'm scared to ask about the sex drive but may the Lord strike me down with a fucking lightning bolt if I'm lying about finding viagra wrapers in her waste basket.....so I guess my dad needed help, which is sad since that shit is supposed to be hereditary might equal :finley: some day

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fmb

It truly sucks when you discover some joints (pun intended) were NOT meant to move in certain directions!

Because it was you, I gave the T ball kid a C note to keep his mouth shut!

*** I'll be damned, the quote whatchmacallit worked!!***

tmcsaint72

dont use mona vie or however you spell but i use super foods supreme from Gnc its alot stronger as far as ati oxidant protection aswell as the artichoke and milkthistle for liver cinnamon for blood sugar and the acidolpholus and four major sources of chlorophyl for digestion. definatly a better product...taste is something you have to become acustomed to though

fmb

That sounds as tasty as krill and diatoms. What happens if I add hot sauce? Will I travel backwards in time? That happened to me the last time I microwaved some instant coffee.