licupssy

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Sent: Monday, June 09, 2008 1:07 PM

To whom it may concern

Subject: Bush resignation speech

Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow Americans', not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer.

I'll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution, let me assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people. I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the world, or what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners, including record numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton administration. I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't sink in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these markets. We face real threats in the world. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beach front property than your economic security.

Don't give me this 'blood for oil' crap. If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied; People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be 'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.

Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official U.S. policy before I came into office. Clinton & Congress established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe. You should be grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11; but you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that. When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight. I'm very disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'

Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political campaign, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it's easy enough to find the truth. It's all over the Internet; it just isn't on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC News. But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below sea level and has a Cat 5 hurricane approaching.

I could say more about your idiotic belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So, I quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream of) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too.

That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it - you can have her. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that's it. God bless what's left of America . Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you - kiss my ass!

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I solemnly swear that I am up to no good! ~~~SWTWC

Jimi

Wonder who wrote this stunning piece of crap.

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"I don't care if they're black, white, purple or green. Awww hold on now. Purple or green? You gotta draw the line somewhere. To hell with purple people. Unless they're suffocating. Then help them."


January 2009, the end of an error.

rjsincs

well there are words with more than 4 letters in them and it doesnt rhyme so it wasnt really bush.

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fmb

I do like the not so subtle points. Politics allows for these things to be swept away, out of sight. Sometimes, we need a reminder. Thank goodness there are government workers that take the job seriously and stick things through; presidential administrations last only one or two sessions. No matter which party wins the next election, work will still be accomplished.

Ryan

wow

that's the exact kind of bullshit propaganda that I hate about politics (both sides)

just because someone thinks differently than you doesn't mean they agree with our enemies

It's like republicans think that just because democrats want the US out of Iraq that they want terrorists to kill more Americans. I think everyone wants Americans to be safe, and we should remember that when we argue about who is "right" about all of this. Sure we think different, but remember that even if someone has a different political alignment than you they are still an American like you. Lets align against the common enemy, not each other.

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Oh my god, I have a blog

fmb

Ryan: if we did what you want, the politicians would be tossed out! Amen! Glad to see some sense and reason out here!

BackdoorJesus

Yeah it may be a bit of a propaganda piece but it does make some valid points. It is a shame that many of the things that have happened under Bush were so horrible that they effectively eclipsed the positive events that also transpired over the last eight years.

As an independent voter I am dismayed by the fact that lots of folks seem to think the answer to eight years of hard right politics is a period of hard left politics; the sensible person knows that the answer truly is closer to the center.

Frankly, I think that this time around the Republicans are a lot closer to that center than are the Democrats, and despite the Dems wanting to paint their opponent as a warmongering Bush term #3, I like to think that the voting public is not that obtuse (though I'm well aware I could be wrong). I can see that both viable options this year are a marked change from the last eight that we have endured, and when I have a choice for my "change", I choose what is closest to the the middle, not the far-<any> wing.

Do remember (if you're old enough) that the last time we were "fed up" and went for the "far-left" answer we got Jimmy Carter, and that winnar's pathetic 4-year term only inspired people to vote Republican for another 12 years. Oh and that 12 years could have easily been 16 years or more had Ross Perot (whom I proudly voted for) not stepped into the fray.

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yellowfish

sorry way off topic but

is there a country out there where the newspapers/people dont despise thier president
S Africa hates its president
Zimbabwe hates its president
United Kingdom hates its president
etc

we always hate the boss its programed that way i think

zpr

I think its because the people that are happy with the president don't complain. You can take the last election as an example. Based on the media and any other exposure, you would have thought that Kerry would have won. The Bush supporters came out of the woodwork to make sure that Kerry lost. Its a matter of what you get exposure to, and lately, liking the president isn't a popular opinion so there isn't much exposure.

cm8

I SO Agree.........