Bipolar

click on one of our sponsors! OR REMOVE ADS

Found this rather amusing. Posted for your pleasure:


10 obstacles to killing people that (unsuccessful) murderers never think of


1. Screams travel
Yes they do, and people in the process of being murdered rarely keep their mouths shut about the experience. Screams are unusual enough that the human ear will pick one up even in the midst of a million other distractions. Your victim gets off a scream and you are fucked. Even if no one hears, you can never quite dismiss the possibility that someone did and that will make you nervous and error-prone for the duration of the act.

2. Locked doors
Lock-picking is a skill which takes time to learn. So unless you are taking the long-premeditation approach you probably don’t have time to buy the tools and DVDs necessary (all of which would be traceable to you, by the way). People do lock their doors, and doors, by design, are difficult to get around.

3. People are always around other people
Most people spend their days around other people. They have social routines and cell-phones that will ring if they don’t show up to something, they car-pool, go on dates, tell their friends their itineraries. Unless you plan on killing the other people as well, you probably won’t get any normal adult alone outside of the bathroom which someone saw you follow them into.

4. Dogs
Powerful hearing and sense of smell means that they will likely pick up on an unseen stranger long before their human owners. They also bark which can alert the nosy neighbor from #6 (below) that something interesting is happening over their at the victim’s house. If the potential victim doesn’t own a dog, and they usually do, the nosy neighbor will, I assure you.

5. The rarity of unsupervised abandoned buildings
Let’s say you want to take your time with the whole murder thing and you want to take the victim back to your hide-out first, where is that going to be? You can’t use your house in case you become a suspect and the police go over every inch of it. Besides, you probably have nosy neighbors of your own. When was the last time you saw an actual abandoned building that could be used for such a purpose? Abandoned buildings tend to be around inhabited buildings, and are regularly driven-by by the police, or else squatted by crack-heads.

6. Nosy neighbors
They don’t have to actually see you doing anything, they just have put you somewhere where you shouldn’t have been, or glimpsed a part of your license plate, or seen your hair-color. You would be surprised at how many CSI-watchers have boring empty lives, anything that is even slightly out of the ordinary is automatically “suspicious” to them. It’s impossible to drive down a street in any average-sized residential neighborhood without at least one person noticing you. If actually you stop and get out of your car, you might as well just yell out your name and home address. Apartment complexes are even worse, the people who live in them don’t do anything but watch who comes and goes.

7. Disposal
You have this big hunk of meat that you need to get rid of, along with the things you killed it with, and the clothes you wore while killing it. This is a big job for one person. Trying to dump something as heavy as an adult corpse is tough even if it’s something legitimate, let alone the most illegal thing you could possibly have in your possession. It has a shelf-life, is somewhat gross, and it will likely the be leaking some kind of evidence or other. Weapons and clothes may seem easy by comparison, but guns and knives are usually not made to be easy destroyed and clothes smoke when you burn them.

8. Locating viable weapons
By “viable” I mean untraceable, easy-to-conceal, and effective. This pretty much eliminates everything you could get by legal means unless you plan on using a Wal-mart extension-cord to strangle your victim. Untraceable guns are impossible to come by unless you have criminal connections and why would you trust them? Knives aren’t just “messy”, they are difficult to use unless you have a lot of practice because they break, and easily miss vital things while leaving you a victim to struggle with.

9. Conflicting schedules
Are you unemployed? No? Well, then, your victim would have to be alone and available during your off-time, wouldn’t he? To kill a specific person, you have to be free when they are vulnerable. Lining up your off-time with their vulnerability-periods ranges from maddeningly difficult to impossible.

10. Hard work
If you have ever been in a brawl then you know that wrestling about with people is tiring. Victims don’t just magically fall over from the first stab-wound. They fight , getting evidence all over their murderer’s clothes, or they run, or they scream. So a murderer can’t just be ready to stab, they have to silence and restrain as well, all of which are hard work. Victims don’t die immediately from most gunshot wounds either, usually they run off or try to take the gun unless the killer is lucky and hits them in the head and even then it can bounce off. Blunt objects are rarely effective without repeated bludgeoning and they usually splatter evidence all over the place.

___________________________________________

joerockhead

Interesting information. Where did you get this from.

I appreciate the effort, for my future.

___________________________________________


Visit the worlds best website -
www.badass67.com - Black Sunshine

YaMon

Reminds me of this movie:




Fucking classic!!!!!

___________________________________________

joerockhead

Never saw that movie, Is it any good??

___________________________________________


Visit the worlds best website -
www.badass67.com - Black Sunshine

fmb

Here are some thoughts from the (potentially) sick, twisted mind of FMB:

1)Screams: I've always thought a garotte was the way to fix this. No air through vocal cords = no scream. This would take some thought to make sure you were in an unobtrusive place behind the victim. Not that I've spent much time thinking about such things. Ahem!

2) Doors and locks?? I spent twenty years riding a firetruck. I've torn apart lots of locks and have destroyed 20x more doors. My method is loud and, if the building weren't burning, attracts much attention. I'll forego the lock pick thing....

6) Nosy neighbors: Damn gossips.You can't even kidnap and murder someone without being the talk of the town. What's a serial killer to do??

7) Dispoal: Four words. Deep sea fishing. Chum.

10) Hard work: How many calories to subdue, kidnap, kill, dismember, transport, and feed your victim to the fishes? I've never seen this calorie burning breakdown on any infomericial.

Of course, this is all supposition.

tsmo

or..

you could do what this guy did...


No charges for man who killed wife in TV mishap
ASSOCIATED PRESS
04/09/2008

SEDALIA, Mo. -- Prosecutors are not expected to file charges against a Missouri man who fatally shot his wife while he was trying to install a satellite TV system in their home.

Henry County investigators ruled that Patsy Long's March 22 death was accidental. Her husband, Ronald Long, fired his .22 caliber pistol from inside their Deepwater home after he couldn't punch a hole through the exterior wall using other means.

The sheriff's office said the 34-year-old woman was hit in the chest by the second of two shots.

Henry County Prosecuting Attorney Richard Shields said his office does not expect to press charges.

___________________________________________
I'm a terminal non-achiever

fmb

tsmo: I was married and divorced two times. Why didn't I think of that solution??

joerockhead

1) More then likely, you are still going to get blood on you, and maybe leave some of your own DNA.

2) How do you get in?

6) Set them up, leave evidence in their home?

7) not everyone lives near an Ocean, or lake big enough for this.

10) Ahh, yes. And if you suddenly started an exercise regime "Just prior too" the killing, you may be a suspect.

___________________________________________


Visit the worlds best website -
www.badass67.com - Black Sunshine

one_oh_one

I think unsuccessful murders think of those points. They just, obviously, failed to execute methods to get around such obstacles.
But they would've though of them, I'd say.

licupssy

Don't try it if you have a tool rental place nearby. Seriously, who's the bigger moron the guy or the DA. Definitely a good case for involuntary manslaughter. That town must have a very high rate of high school dropouts. Everyone knows you'd have a hell of a time getting the cable through the smal hole made by a 22 cal. That's the job for a 38, 357 or 44 mag.

___________________________________________

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good! ~~~SWTWC

licupssy

Yeah, if that list makes you feel safe you're in trouble. Take the statistics of a city like Philadelphia with 300 to 400 unsolved murders each year. Take note of the stories of the many serial killers and hit men like "The Ice Man". I saw a good TV interview of the Ice Man which was very good. Of course if you seen the one episode of Matlock about the perfect murder you probably make some mistake that may get you caught. But, on the other hand if you're the victim it probably won't help you.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Kuklinski

___________________________________________

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good! ~~~SWTWC

joerockhead

Being a Sniper, that is how you do it. Like Jean Reno in "The Professional"

___________________________________________


Visit the worlds best website -
www.badass67.com - Black Sunshine

yellowfish

ohhhhh with the ways of the ninja every thing very silent
just 2 swishes of my blade and he falls without sound

jabber

I'd look to a well timed poisoning