kevin8700

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Sometimes i'm really confident and sometimes i'm not. i went into a club down in PC for the first time and it was alot of fun. i ran into some girls and some ran into me. but as i see in clubs now the dancing is one step closer to having sex doggy style. and for guys it gets pretty exciting.

now here are my questions.
how do i kill this "confidence" issue that i have sometimes and once i get past this part should i control my my penis and resist the urge to get a boner or just let nature do it's thing?

i guess my cheap ass will buy a subscription once i use these forums more often so please answer my question

CD

I'll tell you right now, that depending on the girl, controlling the boner is next to impossible. Maybe if you do it more often it won't be as much of an issue since you will be used to it. Of course, we'll see how accurate my advice is, since I'll be in Hotlanta this weekend.

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skept

Well this is my take on the whole issue... if shes up close and personal - like grinding or extremely close then yea having a boner is not an issue as they would be stupid if they don't suspect it. The most important thing to realise is that yea she might be grinding or be extremely close - but still thats not an invitation to go groping or grasping her boobs / butt / try to finger her etc.

If your just normal dancing then you know if you have a boner she must be something pretty special. Generally you shake one out before you go out and that will ensure 2 things. If you get any then yea you will last longer and you are less likely to pitch a
tent unless its something like dirty/grinding.

How to overcome the confidence thing. Well the thing that I do is I don't take any of it to heart. If you succeed you succeed - if you fail you fail. At the end of the day unless you really hit it off with the girl you will most probably never see her again.

kulotsalot

I used to be a dancer (ballet and ballroom) but I've only been to a club twice, and both times I just stood on the sidelines looking like an idiot because I don't know how to dance (i.e. how they dance in clubs - unchoreographed and pretty much just do your own thing type dancing) and I'm not a drinker and I'm not very social around strangers. So yeah, clubs are not really my scene. Take this for what it's worth...

If I were in a club and dancing like that (more like grinding, really, I don't consider that dancing) I wouldn't be surprised at all if something was pokin at my backside. That's kinda expected, considering what you're doing. Thing is, though, I would never do that with some random guy. I only dance with friends, coworkers (i.e. co-dancers, which is more like work than anything else) and SO's. If I'm dancing with friends then I'd probably NOT be turned on, this is more of a dancing-for-fun type of thing, not dancing-to-get-each-other-hot-and-bothered. Co-workers... like I said, it's work, no biggie. With an SO it's super sexy and definitely turns me on... you don't even have to dance all that well (but no John Travolta moves, please!), it's all about knowing that you can pick up where you left off once you get back home. I did have a close encounter with a boner once, though... what's funny is that we were doing a WALTZ. How unsexy. But this isn't your regular "boring" waltz, we were doing the stuff that you see in dancesport competitions, waltz with proper rules and stuff. You're basically dry humping each other's leg in the process of moving across the room. It must be hard being a guy dancer; at least we women can always deny arousal and there is no evidence to the contrary.

CD

wet panties say otherwise

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elfoozo

except it's hard to hear the squish when she sits down with all the club noise.

kulotsalot

Yep, this is exactly what I mean.

michaeljohn

I don't like bars and dance clubs for the social scene for a few reasons:
1) You can't have conversations easily if the music is too loud.
2) When I was younger, many women just went to gold-dig; i.e. get guys to buy them drinks. Also, it is fun for them to see how many hot guys they can get to buy them drinks and dance with them. They have no intention of going home with anyone for further games.
3) Dancing isn't my favorite way to meet a girl, I want to talk to her. See 1) above. Plus, your thinking with your other head. I also don't like to dance, I suck at it.


Ok, that said, keep in mind that both men and women will say things they don't mean when they are under the influence. You may meet the girl of your dreams only to find out she was fighting with her bf at the time she clicked with you. Countless similar scenarios wil occur.

If you don't care about finding a relationship and just want to get laid, play the numbers. You will eventually find a willing partner. You just may cough up a bit of cash to do so. The only shortcut method I can offer is playing a game of your own. Figure this, all the other males are offering the girs at the clubs apples, you can score by offering oranges. In other words, find a new approach that offers the girl something other than what everyone else is offering. (Usally drinks and dancing). That will get her attention and make her want you. To do this, you need confidence and strategy. I can suggest this for a start. Connect with a chick, then play it cool. get her intrigued and make her want to chase you when you back off. Then hook her in. This is just a rough draft. The rest you have to figure out. But it can be done with practice.

This thread seems in danger perhaps of getting silly, please keep the replies serious, thanks.

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adrenaline

True to a point.. If you are out looking for a relationship maybe the club scene isn't the best place to be.. but if your looking for a quickie one nighter, the less you can talk the better.




as for the issue stated in post 1. I wouldn't worry about it.. I had confidence issues all the time.. But now that i look back, i know i should have taken the risks.. I wouldn't worry about it.. You sporting wood could be sexy to some girls and others maybe not.. You'll never know until you just get out there and go for it.

jeffc574

If she is grinding on your zipper and you "salute" she will do one of two things. A) dance further away from you. B) grind more. If she is into it and you are into it. Go on from there.

riceboy

has anyone ever pulled a "hey, my friend is calling me, and they're supposed to meet me, I'll see you later?" when they're grinding?

CD

ouch... sorry but that is a cold blowoff unless she really didn't have time to give you digits.

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clamsrus

they don't call it"c**k teasing " for nothing!
She may have just been doing it to leave you high and dry
She may have just been doing it to flex her sexual muscles
She may be saying to her g/f's that's the fourth one tonight I've sent away limping
She may have just been having a good time...have no sexual interest and couldn't care if you got aroused or not
Who Knows!?

lamer5

i've had this same thing happen to me a couple/every times when i've gone to clubs too and i find it horribly uncomfortable... it's easy to say just let it get hard and see what she does... but unless your in the position, i mean, you're the poker, and not the pokee; and have no idea of what the girl will do/say... it's sorta uneasy. im still not sold on the idea that girls find this kid of thing acceptable... i mean... is it really acceptable? i've read all the posts and it just seems like this subject has no good answer.

Does this kind of thing happen to all guys at dance clubs when girls get up on them? are there some guys here that this has never happened to? if so what's going through your head?