Bigeme

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Okay so me and my girl have recently started having sex. I have a couple of questions that I couldn't really find satisfactory answers to so here goes.

First and foremost how do I get her to tell me what she likes? Everytime I try to talk to her about it she shys away from the topic and gives me some general response that doesn't help. She seems to be enjoying it, but I just would like some feedback.

Along the same lines I can never tell when she is interested or not. Whenever I start to get frisky with her she doesn't really react unless I start making out with her or go for the money shot. She's always reacted positively at this point, but I don't want to think that that's just because she knows I want it. I guess its kinda the same question about getting her to talk to me.

Next, is it possible for her to not rip on the first time but at later encounter? I think she was a virgin, but again she doesn't like to talk about it and I haven't explicitly asked. But this morning I woke up and there was quite a bit of blood on my sheets. She was tighter the first time we had sex and we had to stop because it hurt her, but last night she didn't seem in pain at all and didn't mention anything. Is it possible for her to not feel pain in that situation?

That's all I can think of right now. She is pretty shy in general, but I have no problems communicating other things to her and I would like some advice on how forward I should be and how to get her to open up.

JacksonAces

Really the biggest peice of advice I can give is to try to get her more comfortable talking to you about it. When you do ask her, make sure you are in private, and that everything is very relaxed and chill. I know that one of the things I love most about my girlfriend is that we can talk openly about just about anything. It is very freeing and makes our sex life much more enjoyable, simply because we can know what each other likes. Communication is huge, and I think anyone with more experience will second that.

As for your other questions, you should talk to my girlfriend, theworldismytoy. her post should be after mine.

~jack

theworldismytoy

ok, here goes. First off what Jack said was true. If you haven't already, let her know just how much you would apreciat feed back from her. Tell her that you want to know because you want to make her happy and because you belive that sex is about the both of you (because that's what sex should be IMHO). Don't push too hard as she may well have a painful past that is hard to talk about and the last thing you want her to do is get angry. The best thing really is to tell her how you feel and why and then let her come to you when she feels ready, and she will as long as you make her feel comfortable and you have a relationship build on honesty.

If you are comfortable with it you may want to have a night where you tell her that it is her night to do (or have you do) whatever she wants... One thing you should know however is that girls don't fantisise the way guys do often times. I know that I for one have a hard time answering the "what do you want?" question sometimes because I hadn't really thought about it a whole lot. But since being asked such things and coming to realize that it is indeed ok to think about them it has become easier. Sometimes just getting the wheels turning can do the trick.

As for your third question, I can tell you what my personal experience has been but this is really a personal thing and by that I mean it is different for each person. I didn't have trouble with riping or pain after my first time. It may be that she bleeds easy but it isn't all that painful. Generally these things get better in time. I would suggest that you go slowly (unless you are told otherwise).

speegs

Just my opinion, but, if y'all are not comphy about talking about sex, you should not be sexing with them. Talking about sex and sharing info, how often, when,positions, ect., takes so much pressure and anxiety off the relationship. When I was younger, I took sex for granted and thought that I knew everything from porn. But noy until I started having relationships and learned to communicate,I became aware of signals the female gives off. I'm rambling, but the point I'm making is that it is essential to be able to talk sex with the one your sexing.

Chameleon Grrl

she seems so uncomfortable with her own sexuality that your safest bet is to just stop having sex with her until she gets more comfortable with it. there's really nothing you can do to help, it's a growing/maturing thing that she needs to get through. it sounds to me like she doesn't even really know what she likes/wants so she might just be going along with what you want to make you happy. if that's the case it's going to get worse before it gets better if it ever does. this is real common, especially in young women. if i were you i'd explain that this is what i think is going on and for that reason there won't be anymore sex unless she initiates and takes a more active role in her own sex life. that will force her to confront her own issues and keep you from doing any to inadvertently hurt her.

as for the bleeding, it is possible that she tore and didn't feel it at the time, that's happened to me before. it could also be that she just started her period during the night.