ppooiiuu

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That is just the question I have is it that important to keep? What is your opinion? I was raised in a church and everything but is it that important?

skycatcher

Maybe you should combine your questions into a single, complex sentence lol. It's not how we feel, it's how you feel about it. If you think it's important then it is. What we say shouldn't influence your morals in any way. You need to decide for yourself and then stay true to the decision you make.

It may seem like an odd statement to you but in my opinion, "It's only sex."

skept

You cannot seek advice from us here on that issue as it is one that you must personally deal with. If you are to leap into sex before marriage you must realise that you will lose your virginity and you cannot get it back.

Is it that important to keep? My take is no. To me there are things far greater in a relationship then just sex - things such as trust and respect which actually shows I care about her rather then me just getting my rocks off.

Mule_Hammer

Is the idea of being without sexual experience something you value? If so, then yes it's important to you. If it's because you've been taught that it's wrong through your church-childhood, then you need to discover your core values.

Having been raised Catholic, it wasn't until I moved away that I realized all the crap I'd regurgitate concerning sex was from a lifetime of conditioning by over-zealous family. I learned that I considered sex a natural, good thing. I did not believe that people deserved to be punished for it. Every time I thought about sex or became aroused I would feel this little, unpleasant tugging in my gut. I later realized that was guilt. When I decided that my judgements values and morals were a birthright, not to be overruled by any religious code, I explored the complete opposite of religious conservatism and throught this informal education, I carved out my own personal beliefs, which lie somewhere in the middle. Expose yourself to people who think differently (not necessarily opposite) from your church and your family. You'll soon discover who you are.

ppooiiuu

thanks for the replies I just wanted to here some opinions

adog8me

no no no no no nono, look at jessica simpson, she kept it real, and that douche bag nick sucked it up in bed, now its over. Personally I have to test drive before i buy. but what do i know?

demos

Sex is such a powerful and primal urge and a good sex life is so important in a marriage that it makes sense to establish that you will be compatible before you embark on the commitment of marriage.
Spending a fortnight together on holiday would give you the opportunity to move your relationship to a physical level in a relaxed setting away from family pressure; it should also give you an indication, albeit small, of what it will be like to live together.
Apart from bible-thumpers, most men do not expect to marry a virgin nowadays. If a man expects a virgin bride but is not a virgin himself, he is by definition a hypocrite.
This is a question that only you and your partner should resolve, free from outside pressure and from undue pressure by one partner on the other.
Be informed, be agreed, be sure, be protected and be prepared to enjoy the most wonderful expression of your love for each other.

Manning1985

This is a answer that you really have to find yourself, regardless of what we say. But With that said it is my personal opinion, that sex is an important part of marrige especially sexual compatablitity, and that you need to know that you and your partner will have a good sexual relationship together. Yet at the same time it is not safe to have sex untill you and your partner are secure in your relationship with one another where marrige is a serious topic of disscusion when you talk about your future's. I am a psychology student and almost all acredited texts say something along those lines as well.

slappey

I think it depends. For some, it is important because they feel it is something they can only give to one person. For me, it really wasn't that important, however, you have to remember, some girls get VERY clingy if you take thier V-card. So if you aren't serious about the girl, i wouldn't have sex with her, because it could really hurt her emotionally.

bocasbeachbum

You are making it a comodty. It is something that is sold with a marriage liscense. It should be something of yours to give as you feel not at some one else dictates.

jeffc574

First, It is a one time, one time only decision, so make it a good one. I was the wild "public school" kid at a Catholic college. Several of my classmates (female) gave up their virginity to the guy they got engaged to. Often that night. Some of them ended up marring the guy.

I did learn after college that one of the "slut rep" girls from High School was a virgin on her wedding night. Seemed those guys who said they got some, where full of shit.

It also depends on your deffinition of virginity. If you mean no intercourse, you can still have a sexual relationship with someone. If you mean no touching at all, your wedding night may not be all you think it will be.

A good friend married a virgin in her late 20's. It took about a week until she was ready for intercourse. Her family messed her up, making sex seem a pain and awfull instead of wonderfull. Now she is a demon and he gets more at home than any of us.

It depends on you. If your values make it important, it is. If her values make it important and you think she is important, it is. If you are willing to say anything to hit it, move on.

Weezer1982

nope. it depends!

Mule_Hammer

That is a really good point.

LittleBigman204

It would be wrong for me to even attempt to force my values on anyone else. Everyone has to make that call for them self.