Unique Situation
 

I've been with this girl for about half a year, but I'm going off to college in three days (I leave Thursday). I really like her and she's very special to me. We're both virgins. But I want to have sex. We've been having plenty of oral, but I want to go all the way. So I brought it up, and she said that she also wanted to, but said she would regret it later, because she would lose her virginity to a guy who was leaving her three days later.

I respect her opinion, but it's hard to deal with. I really want my first time to be with someone who's special to me, but I'm going to college for cryin' out loud! At Arizona State, too! And I don't think I want to remain a virgin throughout college, so if my first time is to be with someone special, this is basically my only chance.

What should I do? how can I convince her? Or should I even try? Help please!

Re: Unique Situation
 

wow. Are you me from a year ago?

I had this exact situation. Well, almost. But I know how you feel.

The best advice I can give is don't worry about it dude. I know you care about her, and I know that you think that when you go off, she will stay at home waiting for you, and you will go off and pine away for her and everything will be good. But, if you try to force this thing now, she is going to regret it. and no matter what anyone tells you, sex is not something that you can take back. If there is even the smallest amount of regret in her mind afterwards, it is a deal-breaker for your relationship. Give it time. If you two are pretty regularly getting each other off, then when you get back on a break for the first time, well, think about it. if she doesn't get any from now until you get back, she is going to want you soooo bad, it will probably happen then. and chances are, it will be her decision, or all you'll have to do is suggest it.

Ever heard that distance makes the heart grow fonder? It's a lie, but it does make people alot hornier. I'd wait it out man, see if the relationship can last with the distance, and if it can, go for it when you are back. It will make it better in the long run.

~jack

Re: Unique Situation
 

[And I don't think I want to remain a virgin throughout college, so if my first time is to be with someone special, this is basically my only chance.]

You may think that now, but trust me, she isn't going to be the only special person in your life. Jack was right to tell you to keep up with her when you go away, but you could get yourself in some serious mental trouble if you live for her and only her. It will inhibit your ability to become close to others and take part in the life you are going to be a part of. Be wary that this new life could also become a wedge between you and your girl, when you are left behind, it can be hard to understand the situations in al life that you aren't a part of. It's a sad part of growing up and moving on, but it brings things that you can't even begin to expect and if you take them in the right like, they can be beautiful.

Re: Unique Situation
 

If nothing happens on your first visit back home, then it's probably something you should give up. No point ruining your college days on something that may never happen. Just whatever happens, let her know first, so you don't come off as being an asshole.

Re: Unique Situation
 

Hmm. Thanks for the advice guys. Have to clarify one thing, though, we both knew from the start that the relationship would end the day I stepped foot on the plane. It just wouldn't work if I was gone 3/4 of the year. Which makes her more right (she feels it would be a "waste" because it wouldn't build anything in the relationship), but at the same time, I feel that it makes me more right, too. Might make me seem like more of an asshole, too, but I was serious when I said I wanted my first time to be with someone special and that I'll probably lose it with some drunk chick at college whose name I forgot before I drank that last beer, ya know?

Re: Unique Situation
 

Not to be rude, but that says something about your self restraint doesn't it? Look, if you want it to be with someone special badly enough, it will be. It may take you some time to find that in someone again, but it will happen. You have no idea how lucky you are to already know and understand that sex is more than just fucking around for the fun of it. Believe me when I say that trait in a guy your age is hard to come by, and girls will recognize that, the good ones too, the ones that are worth getting to know. Just don't get so caught up with the idea of sex that it blinds you to the rest of your life.

~World

Re: Unique Situation
 

They way I see it, is take her on some form of special going away date or something. then when you end up fooling around, go for it like you would normally. If she gets wrapped up enough in the moment it should go all the way really smoothly. If it doesn't and you go away to college...HAVE FUN and don't think twice about it. Depending on what she will doing back at home, you will be heart broken and uber pissed if she starts messing around with some other dude with more skills and convinces her to do it.

I say, go for it! Odds are against you actually staying together through college and, although its nice to lose your V to another...its actually pretty awkward and wont be as good as you think it will be.

Re: Unique Situation
 

so far i cant find fault with anyone's advice here... they all have their good points...
If your so caught up witht this girl.. good... try the approach juan suggested... if it doesnt pan out... no big deal... its called strike'n out... it happens, to some more so than others. If by your first break your still got a jones in your bones to loose your scarlet v with this girl go with the advice jackson gave you and swing for the fences... however.. and this is a big one.. SHE MAY HAVE FOUND SOMEONE NEW... this is not a betrayal. After all did I not see your post about how "...we both knew this relationship would be over when i step one foot one the plane." So in the event that happens... try not to be bitter... its gonna hurt like hell and your gonna wanna be an ass about it .. TRUST ME.

My advice is this: Simply go to college... dont wait for her... but dont rush out and try you best to become a man whore either... take your time.. college takes some getting used to and its a big adjustment. Correct me if im wrong but your going to AZ. state right? Big party college... but at the same time there are social functions you can attend as a freshman that will help with said adjustment. You will find that your freshman year is the scariest year at college... you wanna fit in with all the cool ppl and all that nonsense... just remember.. YOU GO TO SCHOOL TO LEARN.. oh and in the event you do end up hook'n up with some drunk chick that you dont remember the name of by the end of the last beer... ALWAYS WRAP YOUR TRUNK BEFORE YOU DUNK!!!

Re: Unique Situation
 

[edit]EASY WITH THE WISE CRACKS OR :ban1:[/edit]

Really man I wouldn't think twice about this. Go to school study and have lots of fun. You are just nervous, kind of like a seperation anxiety. Just trust me give a little time when you get to school, get out a mingle and your going to have so much fun your not going to want to go home. Hell you may want to stay and go to grad school, but that's more work than play.

Re: Unique Situation
 

Thanks a bunch guys. I'm ready for college, but since I have something special now I'm going to try to make the most of it. Probably do what Juan said. And if it doesn't go, I'll try not to feel bad.

Thanks, I'll keep you guys updated.

Re: Unique Situation
 

DUDE! YOU ARE GOING TO ARIZONA MOTHERFUCKING STATE!!!

I have mad props for how you feel about this girl. Totally respect your emotions. But...

DUDE! YOU ARE GOING TO ARIZONA MOTHERFUCKING STATE!!!


I have had a number of friends attend ASU, and I have attended MANY MANY parties and gone to tons of clubs and bars throughout Tempe, Phoenix and Scottsdale.

When you see the freakin' women at ASU, believe me brother, you would forget this current girl EVEN if she was Natalie Portman! The women at ASU are top shelf, off the hook FUCKING AMAZING!

One of my buddies that went there was a volleyball player. Dude looked like a Ken Doll at the time (in fact we jokingly had a Ken Doll that we called our Kroez Voodoo Doll [Kroez was his last name]). This guy averaged boning 3 to 5 different chicks a WEEK!

Believe me man. The girls at ASU are going to be interested in exploring their new found freedom and sexuality just like you.

So my advice? Stoke out on your last couple of days of Oral with your current girl. Then go to Cosco and buy yourself a couple boxes of those 500+ count condoms for your first semester at ASU. You will be getting laid all over the place like sod on a golf course at ASU buddY!



Oh yeah, send some snap shots of the incoming freshman womenz for us poor working class shlubs!

:dingle:

Re: Unique Situation
 

yeah that would be nice... but gl and hf at school... your gonna luv it.

Re: Unique Situation
 

Keep the replies serious guys. Don't want to have to start banning people.

Re: Unique Situation
 

Well guys, one day left with her and it doesn't look good. Ah, well, this fish will probably just go back into the sea and I'll have to wait for another one. We've promised to keep in touch, and she said that if we're still together when we see each other next, she might have changed her mind. But I doubt that'll happen. I'll probably be too busy with someone else. Maybe it won't be as special, but if she's going to give up her chance, then there's nothing I can do about it.

Re: Unique Situation
 

I'm with Jaun on this one - special going away date - if it happens it'll happen and if it doesn't have fun at college.

But the choice is really up to you and to me there seems to only be 2 choices.

1) Goto college - do you degree and wait for her.

The possibility here is that if she is really special and she waits - then its a relationship that can only blossom from there

or

2) goto college - wait for her only to have her break up with you and then your sucker punched cause the best days of your life was wasted waiting for something that wasnt ever going to happen.


Follow your head and your heart mate - look deep inside yourself and see if she means that much to you to brave it out or to leave it all.