• Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology? A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbour, then it is sociology. • What's common between the Sun & women's underwear? 1) Both are hot 2) Both look better while going down 3) Both disappear by night • Q: What's the similarity between a lady and a chewing gum? A: Both are sweet and tight in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later. • A couple was told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love.' The woman wrote, "When two people love each other very much, like Bob and I, it is morally acceptable for them to engage in sex." And Bob wrote, "I love sex." • Q: Why did the blond have lipstick on her steering wheel? A: She tried to blow the horn. • Q: Why does a blond wear a tight skirt? A: To keep here legs closed. • "It was just a simple misunderstanding," testified the man charged with indecent exposure. "Explain that statement!" demanded the judge. "Well, you see, this girl and I were drinking in a bar and she asked me what I wanted most in a woman, so I showed her." • Your Name? Abu Dalah Sarafi. Sex? Four times a week. No, no, no male or female? Male, female... sometimes camel. • Santa was in his apartment wearing only the slips. Jeeto said, "Dress up, guests must be coming every moment." "Let them see me this way, so they know how you feed me." "Then take off also the slips, so they may tell me what for should I feed you." • A
pussy-cat says to a tom-cat: Let's play hide'n'seek. If you find me, you may screw me, if not, I'm in the wardrobe! • BEEP... You have reached the Breast Self-Examination Hotline. Press one to continue. (pause) Now, press the other one. BEEP... • Q: What does a hen think when a cock runs after her? A: She thinks, "I hope I'm running not too fast." • Two flowers: I love you, darling!!! I love you, too!!! I want you so much!!! Where the fuck are those darned bees? • "WOW!" - said gynaecologist. "WOW!!!" - answered him the echo. • Did you hear about the blonde mom who kept an icepack on her chest to keep the milk fresh? • A blonde walked into a hardware store, picked up the hinges she was looking for, and went to go pay for them. The clerk asked her, "Need a screw for those hinges?" "No, but how about a blow job for the shovel in the back?" • A lady goes to a dentist,she sits on the chair & starts taking off her clothes. Dentist: Err..mam I'am not a gynaecologist. Lady, I know, I just want you to remove my husband's denture. • A SSC class is told to draw a woman's reproductive system. One girl is so shy she's facing down. A boy YELLS: Sir, she's copying from the originals. • Little Johnny is playing in the street one day when this stranger pulls up in his car. The stranger, "Psssssst! Hey kid!" "Yeah?" Stranger, "I'll give a piece of candy to come in my car." Little Johnny, "Give me the whole damn bag and I'll come in your mouth!" • Wife: If I sleep with your best friend what will be the first thought to cross your mind? Husband: That you are a lesbian. • A woman enrolled in nursing school was attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day was involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asked the woman, "Do you know what your asshole does when you're having an orgasm?" "Sure" she said. "He's at home, taking care of the kids. • The prayer of a Catholic girl, "Oh Virgin Mother, thou who did conceive without sinning, teach me to sin without conceiving." • The doctor was surprised to find old man Jones sitting on the bed holding up his middle finger and sticking out his tongue. He walked over to the nurse. "Excuse me," said the doctor, "but why is Mr. Jones sitting like that?" "I told him you were going to examine his sexual organs." • Son: What's the difference between Love, relief and belief ? Father: Your mom is love, your maid is my relief and I'm your Dad- well that's my belief. • A man calls in sick, telling his boss, "I have rectal glaucoma." "What's that?" asks the boss. The man says, "I just can't see my ass coming in to work today." • The boss went up to the bartender and asked, "Have you been fooling around with the waitress?" "Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender. The boss replied, "Good, then you fire her!" • Mom, hey, Mom! Lennie passed his bar exam so we're going to get married next week!" The bride-to-be was ecstatic. "Gee, honey, don't you think you two should wait till he's been practicing for a year or so?" cautioned her mother. "Oh Mom," said the bride with a blush, "we've been practicing." • The little boy comes home from school and asks mom, "Where do babies come from?" Not wanting to get into the discussion of sex at such an early time she replies, "From the stork of course!" The little guy thinks for a few seconds and then asks, "But mom, who fucks the stork?" • A judge charged 10,800 fine to a man, when asked why 10,800 judge replied 10,000 for rape and 8% entertainment tax. • I hate it when people point to their wrists to ask for the time !! I mean, seriously, do I point to my crotch when I need a bathtroom?!?! • Q: Do you know who is the best goalkeeper in this world ? A: Women, no matter how much and which way you fuck her, your balls will never go in. • Breaking news: The latest gizmo to hit the market is a wallet made of Penis skin. When one rubs it, it expands to become a suitcase. • Two women were discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job." "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking of having my asshole bleached!" "Whoa, I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!" • Pappu did not go to school one day. The next day when the teacher asked him why, he said, "Our cow was on heat, so I had to take her to the Bull." "How disgusting! I am sure your father could have done that." "No ma'm, he couldn't have. It has to be the Bull." • Banta was picked up on a rape charge. He was placed in a lineup with ten other fellows and the accusing woman was escorted into the room. Banta jumped forward, and screamed "That's her! That's her! I'd recognize her anywhere!" • Rich women are getting nose jobs, boob jobs, eye jobs -- everything but actual jobs. • Q: What do u get when you have sex with a judge, a banker & an architect? A: Judge- Honorable discharge. Banker - premature withdrawal. Architect- illegal erection. • Q: What's the nicest thing about a nudist wedding? A: You don't have to ask - you can see who the best man is. • Ever wondered why A, B, C, D, E & F are used for bra sizes? A for Almost boobs B for Barely there C for Can do D for Damn good E for Enormous and F for Fake • Did you hear about the blonde man who had 8 vasectomies? He had to.... his wife kept getting pregnant. • An old maid was held up in a dark alley. She explained she had no money, but the robber insisted that it must be in her bra, or in her panties and started feeling around. "I told you I haven't got any money," the spinster said, "but if you keep doing that, I'll write you a check." • Height of irritation: Hanging from a cliff with an ant on your balls. • The difference between your girlfriend & your wife: Your girlfriend touches your hair, your cock stands! Your wife touches your cock, your hair stands! • Three men were discussing wives. First says my wife is very cold. Second says mine is very hot. Santa says I am confused I think she is cold but people say she is hot. Husband was in pain as a honeybee bite at his penis, wife pray o god please take the pain away but leave the swelling. • A priest saw a girl removin her blouse. He prayed. "God please close my eyes." When he opened his eyes the girl was naked. This time he prayed, "God please close your eyes." • A young couple on the brink of divorce decided to visit a marriage counselor. The counselor asked the wife about the problem. "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation," she said. "Is this true?" the counselor asked, turning to the husband. "Well, not exactly," he replied. "She's the one who suffers, not me." • A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?" She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?" • Any relatively reasonable and good thinking man would wonder every evening: Should I go and look at what I cannot fuck or stay home and fuck what I cannot look at? • In a train, Santa's son's, Pappu's top berth is taken by someone. His wife, Jeeto is on the middle berth. Santa complains to the TT, " A man sleeping over my wife is not giving berth to my son." • One blonde tells another blonde: "I've done a pregnancy test." Asks the other blonde: "And, were the questions difficult?" • Q: What does PMS stand for? A: Penis Must Suffer • Banta was picked up on a rape charge. He was placed in a lineup with ten other fellows and the accusing woman was escorted into the room. Banta jumped forward, and screamed, "That's her! That's her! I'd recognize her anywhere!" • "Great, just what I need," she moaned as he brought home a new microwave oven. "One more thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds." •