Alderune

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So my friend (she's 18) of about 3 years has recently gone through some hard times in her family and took to some hardcore partying w/o the drugs and drunkin sleeping around. She for one can't take much, and when she has her drinks she's one of the horny drunks and it is starting to affect her in everyday life.

But a few weeks ago she stops and only does lil things of drinking (smirnoff here and a couple beers there with the same people) which i can say ok that's fine because it's a relief and she gets to hang out with some of her other friends. So i think it is all done with (as she was turning back to the person i knew) until she has another family fallout but I was wrong.

She has a friend come up from outta state, and now they're hardcore partying almost every night, and i haven't seen her at all.

I mean we've done so much we have our parents calling us seperated at birth! Her mom's called me asking if she's with me, her BROTHER is asking me how julie's doing because she saw more of me than she did him!

I know i needa tell her, and this is a face to face thing but it is hard when her friend is always there and that she isn't giving me any way of contacting her (she's also been staying at friends houses who aren't doing the drinking).

Anything would be appreciated.

tuathal

HMMM, went through all that when i was that age, drink & drugs, its a vicious cycle if it gets out of control. What ya gotta do is get her on her own, sit her down and tell her how concerned ya are. Just keep it in mind that its her choice and dont start telling her what to do or itll probably have the opposite effect. Dont envy ya though, its a tough one. Just let her know your there if she needs ya, its all ya can do.

Incidentally, what got me leading a, sorta, normal life was joining my countrys armed forces, dont recommend that for eveyone though!

Alderune

Thanks for the bit about not over doing it and having opposite effect. I hadn't thought about that. Ironically enough she has aspirations of joining the military lol.

gamble61

She is fortunate to have someone who cares about her besides her family (sounds like that is the precipitating factor in her behavior). Unfortunately, she will continue her present behavior until (a) she hits the bottom (which, not to sound crass, a woman goes a long way down for obvious reasons) (b) she finds another outlet that gives her satisfaction (love interest, career choice, etc.) (c) she finds resolution to the problem that precipitates the behavior (family troubles). Her aspirations for the military will alleviate, but not eliminate, (b) and (c). But a change of pace might be nice. That is, unless she finds herself in Iraq or Afghanistan. Hell, I would drink then. As a previous poster has said confrontation or intervention may not produce the desired effect. Sounds to me like she needs some counseling on how to deal with her family problems. Humans are very resilient but sometimes we need some help with our coping skills. Good Luck. T