speechlessques

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Perection

I saw Perfection today
But only for a split second
See, it happened when I blinked
My…eyes closed
And his image flashed across the darkness of my
subconscious
Now…I’ve, seen Perfection before
I’ve touched
Held him…Felt him
Even kissed him
And dreamed him
I…dreamed Perfection
But what I dreamed fell so short of what I’d, actually
seen
It seemed…he was, crafted by God himself
Proof…that molds are made
And shattered
Destroying the significance of all the before’s and
after’s

In that temporary moment when my eyes fell shut and…I
saw Perfection
I was reminded of the, first time he stole my stare
Simultaneously robbing me of my breath
He became the only desire I had left
Made my mission, to see him again
Going out of my way in hopes of accidentally running
into him
On purpose
Repeatedly seeing him how I did
That day, that way
Like he’d been ripped from my imagination
And improved upon 100 fold
But his game was far from told…

Today, my eyes snapped shut and Perfection flashed
before them
And right then…I, remembered wanting him
Tremendously…Ridiculously
His moment became all I could taste
His life, all I could breathe
His eyes, all I could see
What he wanted
All I wanted to be
All I wanted
Period
I prayed something would...pull his eyes in my
direction
And he become yet another victim of my affection
But only after I learned his name of course
Though I’d always know him as Perfection
Mine, at least in mind, if not body and soul
Willing to settle for parts while working on the whole
But only after we could be in the same room together
And he’d know…I existed
My heart acted like a would-be fugitive, trying to
escape every time I saw him
And I just want him to feel it
…I just wanted him

Today…my eyes closed
Briefly
And I saw Perfection…briefly
And when I did I started thinking
Of when my eyes used to close
And I went from wanting to see his face
To feeling his breath …his face two inches from mine
Went from wondering about his smile
To wondering how his lips would taste…on mine
To wondering how he’d taste
How he’d sound when he knew I was loosing control
How my name would sound when he couldn’t hold it in
any more
How violent were his trembles
How willing he’d be to allow me to speak tongues to
her
And allow him to make me multilingual
How often he’d try to sell the show, with just a piece
of the preview
How weak my knees would become when he’d whisper
“Let me please you”
How quickly self-control would become an ex-factor
How I’d feel when he’d want me
How I’d feel when he’d...speak
How I’d feel when he’d…know my name
Or when he’d willingly look my way
Or when finally
The “me” that I knew…became shared knowledge

Today…my eyes closed, only for a moment’s notice
And I saw Perfection inside that moment
And for that moment I was…taken back to the present
To me and my pipe dream
Lying right next to me
Mentally
Metaphorically
Since presently…my best attempt at shortening the
distance is
Pressing the receiver closer to my ear
I was…taken back to now
When pinches don’t prove I’m not dreaming
And kisses seem to me like untold treasure
And fulfillment doesn’t come until I’ve held him
And felt him
Touched and kissed him like I done it a thousand times
before
Cherished him as if I’d never be able to again
See…now I smile for seemingly no reason
When actually, my reason is more than reason enough to
smile
And the voice in my head don’t worry me
Since they’re always his
And his tone is more of a welcomed melodious tune
An improvement to the deafening silence that used to
be
And I’m at peace only when his eyes sense to me
Metaphorically
Since presently I can’t physically reach out and touch
And now I fight to keep my legs strong
Fight to stand up
In attempts to prove that Perfection is not too much
For me
Though when I take that split second and blink
And think, since it’s Perfection I still see
I realize that he…is more than the stuff dreams are
made of
He is Perfection
Incarnate
And his haunting curse I accept as a gift
After all, he’s only giving me what I wanted
So now I’ll shut my eyes
And hold them closed
And let my vision overwhelm me
Until that moment is upon me when I can see Perfection

With them open…