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Old 02-22-2003, 03:51 PM   #1
kiltedKodi
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spill yer favorite jokes

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An englishman is driving through the highlands of Scotland on a pleasant day. a few clouds in the sky and the weather's warm, so he decides to pull off to the side of the road and looked over the Moor. When he did this, he saw this scotsman going at it with a sheep. "Bloody hell!" he exclaimed as he climbed back into his car and drove off.
A little while later, he decides to try this again so he pulls off to the side of the road and looks over the Moor to see another guy with another sheep bumping uglies! "Bloddy hell!" he screamed and hopped back into his car and drove into town disgusted.
So he pulls up in front of this bar, parks the car and walks in. He sits down at the bar, orders a stout and as he takes the first drink he turns in the chair to look at this guy with one leg in the corner beating his meat "Bloody Hell is wrong with this country!?" he cried to the barkeep "I drive around and twice I look over the Moors and twice i see two different men humping sheep and I come in here for a stout to find a man with one leg jerking his pole!"
"Well" the barkeep replied, "you can't expect a man with one leg to catch a sheep, do ya?":drink:
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Old 02-22-2003, 11:29 PM   #2
dano9672
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Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at
the same time. The Italian boy's father presents him with a
brand-new pistol. On the other side of town, at his Bar
Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch.

The next day in school, the two boys are showing each other
what they got. It turns out that each boy likes the other's
present better, and so they trade.

That night, when the Italian boy is at home, his father sees
him looking at the watch. "Where did you getta thatta
watch?" asks the man. The boy explains that he and Sammy
had traded.

The father blows his top. "Whatta you? Stupidda boy?
Whatsa matta you? "Somma day, you maybe gonna getta
married. Then maybe somma day you gonna comma home and
finda you wife inna bed with another man.

Whatta you gonna do then? Looka atta you watch and say,
"How longa you gonna be?"
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