Sagaris

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What a Day, my birthday, buried my gran, uncle died of cancer, Yet I'm strangely numb. I usually do my contemplating whilst thrashing the living daylights out of my bikes, but my little girl has hid my keys. Where do you guys go to reason things through ?

kulotsalot

Awww... so sorry to hear that. When I'm sad I usually sit in my car, sing a sad song and cry, or do a novel-length journal entry, or cry myself to sleep. Friends are hard to contact these days, they are all so busy and sooo far away, so I pretty much deal with it on my own.

Juan.©amaney

I drink 'til I can't feel feelings anymore.

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BadEgg

Bang the heavy bag and swallow the rest down.

Sagaris

Not feeling anything, so strange, I actually laughed at BadEggs ideas, not a clue what he means though. Cheers Guys I,m gonna sleep on it.

Juan.©amaney

Means you should hit a punching bag, theheavy ones. And whatever you can't "get out of you" swallow it down.

Sleep tite.

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Sagaris

New day, everyone has been bloody marvelous , esp my kids really special. Again cheers.

skept

I have 2 places to do my reasoning...

1) Gym.. the gym is generally my first vent for everything - i used ot have a bit of a short fuse, but when i work out i can feel it leaving me... Now i rarely lose control.

2) Boxing bag... there are some things that just cant be worked out... I just lay it right into my boxing bag.. There are some times when u just feel like grabbing people and beating the living shit out of them.. i used to yell n scream and be a lil shit in my own words... Now... when i get the feeling i know that when i get home i've got something to beat the living shit out of until i return back to sanity

I found out the two above really clear my head, they help me be calm and in control.

ekierner

I'm going to throw my suggestions out in case anyone wants to take this approach.

I've had some rough times myself. I found a couple of theaputic activities to engage in that have helped me in the past.

I was in college, and my Grandmother died. She and I were always close... had a special bond I guess you could say. I found out Wednesday night that she was sick and not in great shape. I heard nothing for two days. At about 3:30 pm on Friday, I got the call... But it wasn't in the fashion you might expect. I had to call my parents and then I found out. I felt like they forgot to tell me. It was a blow that I thought I could never come back from.

I did exactly two things that evening.

1. I ran.... I didn't care where I was going... I just ran. I left my Dorm at about 6pm and got back from my run/walk at a little after 10. It's amazing how much perspective you can gain by just simply changing your environment....

2. I sat down with a legal pad of paper and a pen, and just started writing.... stream of consciousness type of writing. After my run/walk I was probably awake for a good 10 or so more hours... I just wrote and wrote every little thing that came into my head. A lot of people would suggest writing in a journal... or hacking away on a computer... But I prefer writing on a legal pad. When I finished, I got up and threw the whole thing away. I suppose it was a sense of closure.... I don't know what sort of symbolism it might have held.... but it helped me.

Several years later, I suffered another loss in the family. This time, I was out of shape and didn't have the will to run/walk. I didn't feel like writing either. I drove to my parents house. They have a dog. This dog is nuts... but like many animals she senses when you don't want to play... and just need a friend. I talked to that dog for a few hours, and I really felt a lot better. I knew she couldn't understand, but it really makes a difference to be able to get stuff off your chest.

I suppose that's why a lot of people post here... but I gotta say, talking helps. Even if you are talking to an animal with a brain the size of a walnut....

Anyway, I hope this has helped someone out there.

bluewaker

i go find a nice beautiful bluff, sit on the edge, and just go blank. it always helps when nature embraces you. been doing that since i was 13, always helped.

OrdinaryGirl

You've got a lot on your plate, Saggie. Sometimes when we get overwhelmed with a lot of traumatic things, we just shut right down in order to cope. It's important, though, to get it out.

Physical activity, writing, talking about it with someone. Sometimes it will be the littlest thing that will start the flow again. What happy times do you remember with your gran and your uncle? What will you miss the most about them?

If you don't let it out now, it will get buried and come out in other unhealthy ways.

PM me if you need someone objective to talk to.

joerockhead

Sorry to hear the news. Hang in there. Spend time with your kids, hopefully that will help.
good luck.

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OrdinaryGirl

Just checking in to make sure you're doing okay.