dmiller038

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Ok, so I've been dating this girl for about a month now and things are going pretty well. For the reference, she's 19 and I'm 21. We get along great, we have very similar personalities, and have great chemistry sexually. The only thing about this relationship that I'm confused about is that she will call me whenever she is feeling sad or crying (about once a week or so) and get really sad if I am not able to comfort her. For example, today she called crying because she dropped something on her toe and she had no one else to cry to. Needless to say, I did what I could, but it wasn't enough and she got off the phone crying even harder. A lot of times like this I really don't know what I'm supposed to say when something like this happens.

I really do like this girl since we get along so well when she's happy, but times like this just drive me nuts. So I suppose my question is, should I be able to comfort her in times like this?

Sorry if this sounds like a stupid problem, but I'm really lost...

CD

Wow... I think she has a few issues. I don't know exactly what is going on there, but that's not normal. My advice is to talk to her about why she thinks you can fix her hurt toe over the phone. Hopefully you can get to the bottom of what's really going on with her.

OrdinaryGirl

I agree with CD. Sounds like the issues run deeper than just what it would appear to be on the surface. That is totally not normal and the importance she has attached to a minimal issue is indicative of something bigger. I think you can try to talk about it, about her childhood, about feeling like people have been there for her, but I think you will find yourself in over your head. :(

CWB

as the others have stated , it sure sounds like she has "issues" .
she may be using the crying jags as an attention seeking device and/or as a way to "get what she wants" (a form of passive agressiveness) . i would take a quick look at her upbringing ... was/is she a "daddy's girl" or "mommy's little princess" ? were there any situations that would have been cause for her to vie for parental attention such as severe (real or percieved) sibling rivalry ?
a grown person crying/whining about a "stubbed toe" (do you even KNOW if this happened for real ?) to the degree that she did is just not normal .

there are several possibilities for her actions ... some of these are real , such as a true organic mental disorder . on the other hand she may be be suffering from the (self inflicted) SRB syndrome (spoiled rotten brat) . she may also be manufaturing situations (aka : prevaricating) in order to run her "scam" ... the "poor helpless me" / "where is my knight in shining armor" bit .

to my notion , any person that would call me crying about one thing or another and expect me to magically make it "all better" and then gets pissed off because i can't/won't do something has a real problem ... and seeings how i aint no certified shrink ... the best i could hope to do is to suggest that they seek professional help and be the truest friend possible , while protecting myself by not getting too close . i would find out more about her before i got in any deeper .
i aint going to say this will happen , but it could be that if you get deeper into the relationship and then try to break it off she might just go into the "stalking" mode ... tread carefully my friend .

oh yeah ... i can't fix anyone , that is an inside job best done by the individual themselves .

toomanystrokes

Well, one thing is for sure. If it bothers you now, it will be gut wrenching the farther you go into the relationship without addressing it. She is not getting the attention she wants from you with the crying and she will only get more dramatic. It will become a nightmare to play "drop everything now and pamper me" all the time. JMHO.

donwilson

Definitely not the normal girl. You need to talk to her in a serious manner regarding why she needs to call you when she gets hurt or wants to cry to someone. Once and a while is good, possibly needed, but weekly is bordering on over-exaggeration, possibly looking for attention.

Who knows? Just talk to her.