CWB

it sure seems like there is a lot of "stuff" going on with her . you did not mention how old she is (or i missed it) .
her friend indicates that things are "normal" with her ... at least as far as she knows or is willing/able to tell about . to me it is rather odd that her "best friend" has absolutely no clue as to any "inside information" .
in reality there could be some problems with her home life ... however , she has chosen to not share/trust or make you aware/part of those things ... so be it , that is her right . the key is that it is HER choice/action and reasoning ... she has chosen to not want/let you be a part/knowing of those .

you have done your part by trying to communicate with her ... the slate is almost clean . personally speaking , i would suggest (based on my past) doing the next correct indicated thing : write her a very calm and rational letter ... no fault finding or finger pointing ... state that you have tried to understand her and accept her as she is ... that you cannot and will not live your life based on mystery and drama . let your words be kind (you wouldn't kick a sick friend) ... this will do more to help her down the road and you will not regret them should it turn out that there is some heavy stuff going on .

move forward .

clamsrus

So do you physically ever visit her on her patch...rather than her deciding when she's going to grace you with her presence? It all still sounds a little bit unbalanced. Is it the family thing?....something you've alluded to but not spelt out!
What's wrong with heading around to her place and bowling up and sayong hey...I've called you...are you okay? ..or are you just worried you'll find her shacked up with someone else ? Either way you'ld get an answer.
btw....many happy returns on the day matey....only happens the once...enjoy it...k!

VIVIX

Basically she's settled everything with her family situation, so I know that isn't the case. Her best friend IS her best friend. She knows everything that is going on with my girl. If she doesn't know, then I definetely don't know. So I have no clue what her deal is now. She left last thursday after spending the night very happy and everything was going great in her life. But oh well, I'm not one for writing letters, so when she calls and tries to explain what her issue is, I'll just have to tell her that going through this shit isn't worth it. I hate being in the dark about relationship stuff.

CWB

being in the dark makes it tough to figure out which way to go .

four years ago a woman that was a good friend (of ten years) moved away ... she would pop back into town to take care of business and check on a couple of properties she owned . we got together during her visits to catch up on the goings-on in our lives as well as to line out the work i was to do at the properties (maintainence/repair/installation) . we shared the good stuff/times as well as the bad .
one day i heard from a mutual friend that she had been to town and had left ... odd i thought , she didn't talk with me . i tried to call her and left messages ... no replies . this went on for some time and our mutual friends did not know what was going on . i started feeling a little indignant and pissed off , along the lines of "how dare she treat me like that" ! these thoughts would cross my mind frequently .
about six months later i was asked by her best female friend if we could have a meeting about some work and to chat a little ... during our meeting she informed me that our friend had been diagnosed with brain cancer about a year previous and had recently died . my reply was : "whaaaat !! she never said anything to me about it" ! at that point the gal told me she had known and promised not to tell me ... that my good friend did not want me to worry about her .
i was put out and hurt ... finally i remembered/accepted the fact that i have to allow others the dignity to do as they see fit and that i sure don't have all the answers nor do i need to .

clamsrus

CWB..that is so sad....I don't know that she spared you by not telling you....but you are right..I once had a friend at uni who was very secretive about his whereabouts...years down the track I still don't know what he did when he disappeared for sometimes days at a time...I finally decided not to ask.

VIVIX

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Well on my birthday I showed up where she worked and asked her what was up. She didn't have any clear answers for me other than "I don't know." So I just looked her in the eyes, said good-bye and left.

mushroomvr6

sounds 2 me like shes just keepin her options open.but hey,thats just my opinion

10010101001012

man i been EXACTLY where you are with my not long ago, my advice just keep phukin her for a while, then tell her fuck this shit it's over, then reep the suck up . but then for fuck sake don't fuck any one else. and you will have her hooked, ...I like you but i'm not gonna take shit.

10010101001012

if you do this you must be prepared to MOVE ON if she isn't prepared to be faithfull