devi

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Ok so heres my story. I met a girl (also my age - 23) several months ago. Actually I didnt think she was my type at first and since she was extremely shy I didn't really talk to her, let alone think about asking her out. However, near the end of the summer she started talking to me, watching me and following me around at work until one day SHE asked me if i wanted to go with her to friends party - i said yes. The first couple of times we went out were terrible ... we barely talked and she was very shy, but after the 3rd/4th time we went out she completely opened up. On the 4th "date" we made out/flirted at the beach for several hours.

So for the next 2 months we talked on the phone everyday for at least an hour and saw each other every 2/3 days - we became VERY close and intimate, but we were never boyfriend/girlfriend (she didn't want to because she wasn't ready - her last b/f hurt her apparently). She really liked me, always told me how hot I was and that I’m the perfect guy – even her friends at work told me that she liked me. It's weird because we did everything that bf/gf's do, except she didn't want anyone to know about the kissing/fucking part - i was confused but hell i just went along with it .

Then she blows me off one day to go out with some other guy so i get pissed off and stop talking to her. Eventually after 3 days she comes to see me and apologizes - for some reason i accepted her appology.

So we get back to the way things were before until i find out that she is and has been (for a while) spending time (when she’s not with me)with some other guy, a "friend" according to her (she recently moved here and he was her first friend). The more we go out the more I noticed her talking to him on that god dam cell phone of hers (yes I fucking hate cell phones) and they seem too friendly. Worst of all this guy, this “friend”, gets jealous when I call her when shes with him even though he doesn’t like her that way – that’s what she tells me anyway. Then I find out that she sleeps over at his house a lot and that he actually likes her but doesn’t want to date. So I ask if theres anything going on between them and she says no – only that they both like each other, and that shes only fucking me not him. Anyways, for the next couple of months were on and off fucking until I decide that I’ve had enough. She keeps lying to me about where she is (pretends to go out with friends but in fact shes at that guys house) and about other little things so i stop seeing her and rarely talk.

I feel like shit now. I actually got to like this girl more than a friend and really wanted to date her – thought she felt the same, she told me she did. I like her a lot and its been a long time since I felt this way about a girl - we realy did connect. I feel as though she has been using me this whole time to make that other guy jealous/worry about losing her – I think he was just playing hard to get since he had no competition (she barely knew anyone here, just moved here recently). This guy is a bum – has no job and doesn’t want to work , lazy, stupid, has no motivation for anything and lives off his parents money. He didn’t get her anything for Christmas but she spent a few hundred dollars on him(just found this out) – I got her a present but she didn’t get me anything. After Christmas she wanted to buy me something but I discouraged her because I thought she was broke (she wasn’t doing well financially). I don’t get these dumb girls. Why do they like losers? I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging but girls seem to like me a lot and think I’m hot – whats wrong with me? She says nothing, but why would she do this to me? Why make me like her then put a knife in my back. I cant stop thinking about this/her. I feel sad and hurt. Any suggestions? Anyone had something like this happen to them?

skept

Look mate she was hurt in a previous relationship fair enough - but if she fails to see what you have to offer her and fails to realise that you aren't the guy from her previous relationship then screw it all and walk away.

Obviously this 'friend' isnt a friend but infact shes basically replaced you with him - same situation but a different face.

Look long story short -
a) shes lied to you - if she truely cared for you she wouldn't lie to you
b) shes fucking another guy - once again if she really liked you and was serious about being with you she wouldn't have gone off fucking another guy

The best thing for you to do is to rid yourself from this situation - just leave her and realise that your life is alot better off without her. If she just wants to drift thru life continuously fucking it up then hell don't let her ruin yours.

Wilken

The ladder theory should just be a sticky in this damn forum, it's all WELL explained in there. Here's the link: http://www.intellectualwhores.com/ladderintro.html

And here's the part in there that may pertain to your situation:

Physical Attraction/Looks - This is still a big factor in attraction. This is self-explanatory.

Competition - I almost titled this section disinterest. The two are closely related. We can only pursue what runs away from us. A man who is devoted to something else besides the woman is autmatically more attractive. Any intellectual whore who has ever listened to a girl complain about how her boyfriend-ran-off-with-a-slut or how her boyfriend-is-really-not-dumb-he's-just-streetsmart-and-he- has-to-sell-weed-to-support-his-baby's-mama or he's-really-nice-even-though-he-ignores-me-and-hits-me-sometimes-but-you-don't- know-what-he's-like-when-we're-alone or he's-not-emotionally-available-that's-why-I-like-talk-to-you-until-it's-time-to-go-fuck-him while he himself is sitting right there and would like nothing better than to be with her but of course is sitting solidly on the friends ladder knows this intuitively. Ultimately, almost all guys learn this truth for themselves: The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her.

Women seem to especially like it if you are more devoted to your bad music, biker gang, forearm tattoo or marijuana. These all seem to work wonders. There are some interests you can show in a woman that will help you to fuck her: a healthy interest in destroying her self-esteem and in fucking her friends more than her seem to work wonders. Note that the following topics of disinterest have been field tested and shown conclusively not to work: Unix, literature, poetry, international politics, and sodomy.

Novelty - Let's face it, if you're like every other guy who works a normal job and tries to live a good life, you're probably like just about every other guy. Chicks don't dig this, and why would they? Who wants someone who is just like everyone else? Something different is more attractive. Like someone who does not have to work during the day like most people because they have lots of money from business or selling drugs. Or like someone who has stabbed a man and went to prison for it. Different and a veritable ticket to getting laid.

Deconstructing money/power
"Power is a great aphrodesiac" - Notorious Asshole and War Criminal Henry Kissinger
"A woman's test is material. A man's test is a woman...if a man could fuck in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house." - Rabbi Dave Chappelle

It was previously assumed that money was a fundamental unit of attraction to a woman. Further investigation has revealed a better understanding of this very important piece of the woman's rating system. The piece which was formerly labelled money has been replaced by a money/power paradigm. The two are almost always intertwined in a way that makes them hard to distinguish, so I don't think it productive to make a chart of how they breakdown exactly. One almost always follows the other in any case.

What is important to know about the money/power piece is that previously it was thought of as static. Now we know that the money/power piece of attraction displays time-variance. That is, the amount of money needed to get maximal "points" in the money category varies according to the age of the woman. When a woman is younger her perspective is different as to what makes a lot of money. As she gets older the amount of money neccessary for full points increases.

For a girl of 16 full points for money might be obtained by having access to a car and beer money. When she is in her early college years, a nicer car and enough money to join a fraternity is probably sufficient. As she advances into her twenties what we consider to be the normal money chart will begin to manifest itself -- that is, she'll want the richest man she can get.

At no point that we can discern does money ever not become a factor. Take any guy. Take a woman that has that guy. In no circumstance that is known would she not rather have a guy just like that, but with more money. Actually, maybe in one circumstance -- when the guy has enough money to buy her basically everything she wants. This is self-evident, I should think.
Dreams of a Final Theory
I think is very very close to a final analysis of how a woman's rating system works. If you are very attractive, rich, and novel and show no interest in her she is almost guaranteed to want to fuck you. Indeed, isn't this the very definition of Alpha Male? In this way we have derived from our theoretical framework an idea that agrees with observation and experiment to many degrees of accuracy. It also provides a frameowrk for the Logic. Strive to be attractive, novel and aloof and you will go far.

devi

thanks guys ^

Lazer

Yeah, drop her like a crack whore after you pay her...
If you drop her cold turkey she may realize she fucked up..
But still the way she lied to you I wouldn't trust her..
Move on brother. I know she is cool and all, but there are plenty of cool chics out there.

I had a similar situation last summer.
Chic kept telling me who I was perfect and she really liked me. But thing was she only called when she was bored. and had nothing else to do.
She never returned phone calls. so i just stopped calling. And when she started calling me when she was bored or whatever and wanted to hang out. i'd tell her i didn't want to do anything and was just gonna sit around.. thing is she is one of those girls who can't be alone for 5 minutes. It drives her nuts because in fact she can't pacify herself by being alone.

and yes when she wasnt with me she was hanging with other guys.
No big deal. I realized if she really wanted to be/hang out with me she would.

Oh and she is a compulsive lier. Lies about the stupidest little things..
And as hot as she was, I am way better off without her.

wudluv

If she has lied to you and slept around this early in a relationship you are better off without her. She will do it again.

Lucky13

Does this guy by any chance own an acoustic guitar, write cliche'd sappy songs, and regail her with tales of the band he'll someday be in?

thecowboy

I say it was over with the lies. Once the lies start they don't stop and there's no relationship built on lies that will actually work...Good luck man.

bakaduin

Any girl who says she doesn't want to have a relationship but then proceeds to have a relationship with you but wont call it that is going to fuck you over in the long run. Its plain and simple. My roomate met this chick. They started talking all the time, started making out then fucking, he took her out on valentines day, he took her on dates, for 6 months this happened and the whole time she said she didnt want a BF. Basically he was paying for her meals and all the dates and was getting some sex out of it.

Most chicks who think a guy is great will want them as her BF. That way she doesnt have to worry about another girl stealing him, she can show him off to her friends, etc. (And if its an older girl obviously for the possibility of marriage). If a chick sees a guy just as a boy toy she will treat him as such.

Drop her.

jabber

I agree with those that say, its time to go ... what she does is not respectful of your feelings. You wont get what you put into your relationship in return,

sirwalter27

if she doesn't want you to talk about the relationship/making out/sex/ect. in public then obviously the other guy is her boyfriend and she doesn't want anyone to know she's fucking around with you. so drop her like a bad habit.