ugly_411

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Hey Everyone.

So I have a situation on my hands and would like to hear your opinions/advice about it.

My fiance and I are planning on getting married next July. At least, that was the plan a year ago. Now we are fighting a lot more, yelling at each other over the most petty things, and I think the wedding will be delayed. She thinks we should go for relationship counselling.

Now I have thought that crazy. Aren't we doomed if we have to go to counselling BEFORE we get married?!

Talking to friends, I have had this thought repeated, and also been called an idiot for thinking that.

What do you think? Let's hear it!

Thanks

ugly

mickeee

Do NOT get married. if you can't get a long now... forget about it. Please listen.

kulotsalot

Hah! If you won't even admit that there is a problem (I don't need to go to counselling because it means I have to admit that we are having problems!) how are you gonna get it solved??? You are doomed if nothing changes. Right now the situation is not working for you guys. Probably fighting over the same things over and over again, and no one will admit that maybe, just maybe, it is his/her fault.

If you want to salvage the relationship, what have you got to lose by going to counselling? In my mind, if you're already bickering like kids anyway, you can only get better. You'll have some 3rd party telling you that YES you are wrong and stop bitching, but that is the point of it. At the very least, someone who is an objective observer will tell you that it is super duper bad and you'll have to call it quits. Better late than never.

Juan.©amaney

If you can't be friends, and u think its crazy to go to counceling, leave now.

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Sagaris

Delay the wedding and seek impartial advice from a trained counselor. No need to rush into marriage, if all goes well you will be spending a lifetime together.

tres28ram

Damn dude, there will be plenty of time to fight after you get married....for now,
just have fun, do the hump, and fuck everybody else.....besides, making up after
a fight is the best sex ever.....trust me....I've been fighting and making up with
the same women for 29 years.....alls good in the end.....

Hetfield

damn thats bad, how long have you been with her for now? because can you imagine youl have to live with her for another 50-60 years after you get married unless you get devorced which will all be a waste of money when you could have avvoided it in the first place
you need to sit her down and have a serious talk about whether its worth getting married or ending it before its too late. forget counselling before you get married, if she was the 1 to be with forever then there wouldnt be any need for counselling mate

nojoeyharington

no smart-ass replies

-kulots

TheSaxa

There's no harm in counselling.

You'll both be better off having gotten your problems out in the open with a trained professional. Worst case scenario - it doesn't work, and you two break up. At least then you'll have solid, useful knowledge about yourself and what does and doesn't work in future relationships.
More likely - it will actually help the two of you. Every real relationship features fights. If you don't care that she's upset, then you've got a problem.

firepixie

GO TO COUNSELING. Even if you end up feeling silly and embarrassed at times, isn't it worth it? I mean, if you plan to marry this girl, it means you'll be with her forever. Or at least that's the plan, isn't it? You don't want to plan a marriage just to plan a divorce. I have a friend who got married when he wasn't sure he should have, and then got divorced a year later because she left him. Little bickering is one thing, and fighting is another. Take the counseling. It means she wants to do something about it, and you should too.

Greenwood YJ

DO NOT GET MARRIED. If you guys are fighting over petty things now it will only get worse. Dating and the first year of marrige should be the best with very few crossed words.I dont know about the counseling, just give it time and see what happens but DO NOT be in a hurry to get married. The divorce rate is way too high. I think it is because people get in a hurry. I dated my wife for 5 years and we have been married for 5 years with some but not much fighting. A good relationship takes alot of work. I hope this helps.

YerKiddin

You're not exactly doomed, but it isn't what I would call a good sign. You are doomed if you need, yet don't get, counselling before marriage.

(in my humble opinion, of course)